This week on Carmilla, move over Anderson Cooper: Laura may have found her true calling. Turns out she’s a damn fine reporter, and she gives us and the rest of Silas the much needed scoop about CHAOS ON CAMPUS 2015! (BTW: nice graphics, Carmilla team.) Long story short, shit it getting real.
The campus is divided between the three warring factions: The Zetas, The Summer Society and The Alchemy Club. They are all apparently taking Hunger Games 101, because between the flaming arrows, anglerfish god crater, harpies, mutant geckos, poison fog and fungus, regular ol’ unaffiliated students can’t get to their classes. Oh, did I forget to mention the “localized rain of spiders”? Carmilla, halp!
While Laura and Perry freak out, Carmilla calmly sips her Blood Frappicino (no whip). She is however concerned that her girlfriend is now doing exactly what got the newspaper office all dead and stuff. They stare lovingly into each other’s eyes for a bit, because it’s not like a few harpies are going to dim the mood.
Laura explains to Carmilla that she knows the risks but she can’t walk away this time, and frankly, that’s the exact quality that gets Carm’s undead blood pumping. Carmilla has an idea to maybe stop all the infighting between the factions. Enter Tall Gay Danny, who is a sight for sore eyes! With her is Kirsh (Silas’s best lezbro), President of the Zetas, Theo and Mel from the Summer Society. Theo and Mel get into immediately, when Mel calls the Zetas out for having a vampire as a frat bro. Listen, we all make unwise decisions when keg stands are involved. Kirsh remembers the good times with his old bro, but he’s also not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
Laura blows her whistle, because of course she has one, and tells everyone to chill. She shows them a sobering reminder of why they all need to work together: student IDs of some of the deceased newspaper staff. Yeesh.
Theo tries to step up and claim the Zetas saved the campus, which causes a scream to rise in Laura which sounds not unlike the roar of a furious puppy. Laura points out that it was actually one Carmilla Karnstein who saved all their asses. It’s a great shot set up by director Spencer Maybee, who has been knocking it out of the part this season. I didn’t give Spencer enough props the first season, but he deserves some.
Laura asks them all if they can just put their issues aside until they can solve the vicious murder of their fellow classmates. Mel brings up a valid point: What if one of them is the murderer? Dun dun duuuuuun!
In the next episode, Theo and Mel try to find reasons why the other group would have a motive for slaughtering the reporters. No one’s hands are clean but Mel does refer to Kirsh as “the beef parade” which is the best thing ever. Four points for Summer Society! Laura tells them all that she, Carmilla and her crew will be leading the investigation due to their impartiality and adorable outfits. This causes Theo to remind Laura of that time she overthrew the administration and tossed the campus into the hellscape it is now. Kirsh, in his Kirshiest way, suggests that he and Danny act as proxies for the two factions and work with Laura and her crew, so everyone can keep an eye on each other. Danny agrees, but denies Kirsh the high five he so desperately desires.
Before anyone can agree, Laura and the gang have a whole new issue to deal with: student protesters. The horror!!! LaFontaine appears to explain the protesters are pissed about the poor treatment of the anglerfish god, Lophi if you’re nasty, and demand justice. Also, it could be they are all a little brainwashed like LaF was. The Summers and the Zetas agree to Laura’s truce, and Mel can’t help but dig into Danny on the way out. She wants to be the new President of the Summer Society, and she will yank it away from Danny with great pleasure.
Danny tells Laura it’s good to see her and she and Carmilla exchange pleasantries (“fang face” “Xena”). Danny and Kirsh head out to do…whatever it is they do, with Kirsh wanting to be the Romeo to Danny’s Juliet. Oh Kirsh. I knew guys like you in college. This doesn’t end well. When Laura and Carmilla are finally alone, they have some real talk. Carmilla doesn’t like when Laura makes her seem all heroic and junk. She may be a vampire, but there is a little human left in her, and that part was scared as shit to do what she did. Speaking of scared, a quaking Perry interrupts their conversation to show them the mysterious writing CARVED INTO HER STOMACH! It’s Latin and Carmilla translates its menacing message.
If you want to send in your Carmilla nominations for The Streamys, you still can! Is Laura your Nancy Boo? Then submit a nomination for Elise!
