Batwoman Recap 1.13 — Vampires, Clubbing, Kisses, Oh My!

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Welcome back! We open to 50 Shades of Gray. A masked and lingerie-wearing woman saunters up to her playboy beau. She pushes him down, even though he thinks he’s still in control. Until he isn’t. She bites him with fangs. Hard. Ow! But then as if in a trance, he says I’ll do anything you want. Which apparently entails giving up all his blood in gift-sized baggies.

Kate, Luke, and Mary are grieving the loss of alternate-universe Good Beth. It wasn’t supposed to happen this way. And now Alice is back on the loose while the Crows think they got the right woman. Guess it’s up to Team Bat.

Jacob Kane is released from prison and exonerated for the murder of his wife Catherine. I don’t understand how Beth’s body proves any of this, unless Mouse’s dad (the fake plastic surgeon) gave convincing testimony. Also, wasn’t Jacob just shanked and beaten a few days ago? Wild. Jacob and Sophie go to the morgue to look at Beth’s body. He gently kisses her head. Yet neither of them feel the need to figure out who shot her. WOW.

Luckily Kate and Luke do, and are running the plate number and looking for clues. In the meantime though, there’s the question of Gotham’s newest baddie, a wanna-be vampire! Kate gives the cutest skeptical smirk when she hears the villain’s name: Nocturna. How very early 2000s. Then when Luke recommends scoping out a janky fisherman’s bar, Kate is like, yo Curse is where it’s at, an invite-only EDM scene. Luke is embarrassed he didn’t know, saying, “Oh I thought you said Purse.” Kate smirks again AND winks. Guess we’re going clubbing!

Or more like, standing on the roof until she hears a scream from a warehouse. She saves the victim, but it’s a set up. Nocturna and she trade punches until they end up on the ground. Straddling her, Kate says, “Flattered, but you’re not my type.” Nocturna smiles, “But you’re mine. I’m a universal recipient.” And then dead-ass bites the middle of her face, the world’s nastiest open mouth kiss. 

Batwoman goes limp with double vision. She’s strung up like all the other victims until the Crows bust in. Nocturna flees and Luke remotely activates Batwoman with an adrenaline shot. But Sophie gets to her before, breathily asking if she’s okay, and says a medic is coming to help the other woman, and chooses to help Batwoman escape first. Aww.

She unties the ropes but seems distracted. “I thought you had to hurry,” jokes Batwoman, paralyzed and completely at her disposal. “You’re going to get my ass fired,” Sophie retorts, looking a little too deeply into her eyes. Soon they’re inches away. Sophie honestly looks like she’s moments away from an orgasm. Honey is thirsty. “Next time I’ll have to bring you in. Which means… there can’t be a next time.”

Mary checks out Kate at the clinic. They have a sweet interaction, both funny and tender. I really enjoy their sisterly chemistry. Results are in — turns out there’s ketamine in her blood! Strange for a woman who supposedly spends her time in real estate. 

Jacob is back as Commander. He says Crow Security isn’t losing clients because they’re weak (wrong) or ineffectual (wrong) or indecisive (wrong), but because Batwoman does a better job. So their priority now is to get Gotham’s villain before Batwoman. He assigns Sophie to the grand opening of Kate’s club The Hold Up where they expect the next club-goer disappearance.

Mission Lure a Vampire commences. Every drag queen and glittery gay shows up. And Sophie, who rocks a stunning dress but is all business. Until a woman named Elle shows up and flirts her attitude off. But Elle is raising flags as their vamp suspect, so Kate plays bartender to interfere. She cuts her finger on a lime to gauge Elle’s reaction. At the sight of blood, she almost faints. Not our woman.

Jacob sees that Sophie helped Batwoman escape and calls her back to HQ and suspends her until she can decide who’s team she’s on. 

Alice meets Kate in the alley to ask about Mouse. Kate doesn’t know anything. They talk about what happened and how she has a fresh start, and then just walk away from each other??? It’s so frustrating how Kate never captures her. Alice returns to her lair alone, feeling unloved, when suddenly Nocturna bites her. Well that was unexpected! Alice tells her that the tastiest elixir blood belongs to Mary. C’mon! Can’t our sweet angel catch a freaking break?

Kate shows up to help Alice, and slowly realizes there must be a reason Nocturna let her live without taking every drop. “You should be dead,” she says. With obvious sting and sadness, Alice mumbles, “I know, Kate. You did everything in your power to make sure of that.”

Batwoman figures out Nocturna must reside in Gotham Church. Somehow she gets overtaken and is about to be bitten again when suddenly Alice comes to the rescue. She extends her hand to help her up. Alice offers to give Mary some of her remaining blood and let Batwoman catch Nocturna. Kate is skeptical but Mary needs blood fast. 

Mary is fine, and recovers the next day in high spirits considering someone seems to try to kill her every three days. After hearing on the radio that ketamine was the drug used, she pieces together that it must have happened to Kate, and therefore Kate is Batwoman. Yeah gurl! It’s about time!

Sophie fires up the Bat Signal and meets Batwoman on the roof. She confesses her predicament and how her job means everything. She worked so hard to be where she is. Unlike when Kate pressured her to leave military school, this time Batwoman says “I know. I’ll keep my distance,” and begins to walk away. But then she hears “WAIT!” And suddenly the two are kissing passionately above the city. Na na nana na na na na BAT KISS !!!

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