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“Lost Girl” Rewind SnapCap (1.07): Oh what a tangled web we weave

Have I ever told you how much I hate spiders? Like, I can find it in my heart to rescue almost all of the flora and fauna of this green earth, but a spider I will smush on sight. Or, more accurately, I will scream for someone to smush on sight for me. Why do they need that many legs? They don’t need that many legs. And this episode of Lost Girl only furthered my deeply held belief that spiders are the scariest, creepiest, most-likely-to-make-you-murder-your-BFFiest things that crawl on this planet and, therefore, deserve to be smushed.

So this week, Bo and Kenzi’s BFF status is tested when an ancient underfae in the form of the scariest, creepiest, most-likely-to-make-you-murder-your-BFFiest spider you’ve ever seen bites them both causing hallucinations, paranoia and homicidal tendencies. The duo’s arachno-tripping comes at the same time the Bo-Lauren-Dyson triangle starts to get really sharp edges. In fact, Dyson does everything but pee on Bo’s leg in an attempt to mark his territory when Lauren comes around. Looks like the alpha-wolf doesn’t appreciate the competition. But that’s OK, because our good doctor is more than willing to do some harm regardless of her Hippocratic Oath to save her super succubus.

AFTERELLEN BAIT

Well, if you haven’t fallen in love with Zoie Palmer‘s face already, this is the episode that should do it for you. Not only does she flash that signature sly, sexy smile, she also brings out a little steel in her dealings with the jealous Dyson. Plus, this is when Lost Girl really started to revel in Lauren’s luscious hair porn. Though you have to wonder what took Zoie’s stylist this long. I mean, it’s just been waiting to be properly brushed and fluffed this whole time. But, finally, our patience pays off.

FEELINGS, FEELINGS, FEELINGS!

Seems the Big Bad Wolf doesn’t take kindly to Bo’s visits to the Little White Labcoat. Dyson let’s his territorial side show in his prickly interactions with Lauren. First, he won’t leave when Lauren shows up for her kinda-sorta-perhaps a date with Bo at the Dal. Then, when she tells Dyson they’re on the same side, he snarls “No, you’re a human that works for my side.” And a little later he cuts even deeper.

Lauren: My work is the will of the Ash, are you questioning that?

Dyson: Are you questioning my fealty?

Bo: Well, I’m not even sure what that is, but I’m pretty sure she wasn’t questioning it.

Lauren: I can speak for myself.

Dyson: When the Ash lets you.

Like I was saying, prickly — or perhaps just a being a prick, period.

But what I like is how Lauren doesn’t back down, even when Dyson tries to get her back up. She stays strong and shows her backbone. And in the end it is Lauren, not Wolf Boy, who saves Bo by performing impromptu, anesthetic-free surgery to find and destroy the spider’s heart. And she gets her own cut in at Dyson, as well, saying, “Is it really my loyalties that you’re worries about or that this time I was Bo’s hero?”

SEXY SUCCUBUS SHENANIGANS

Poor little Bo-Bo is trapped between two lovers and still has just the one vadge. Will she pick Doctor Freeze or Canine Crotch? (p.s. Wow, am I happy Kenzi amended her nickname for Lauren because Dr. Hotpants is so much more appropriate. But I digress.) Bo, for the first time, fully acknowledges her more than doctor-patient feelings for Lauren. When Kenzi asks why she doesn’t go for it with Lauren because her treatments have fixed her “hungry honeypot,” Bo says she’s still not ready for a human test run, especially with “someone I care about.” And later, when Dyson tries to warn her off Lauren, she lets him know she cares, too, saying, “If there’s one thing I can say about Lauren, it’s that she cares. Are you willing to say the same thing?” Oh, wolfie, don’t you know nothing can come between a gay lady and her FEELINGS?

Still by far the sexiest shenanigans of the whole episode didn’t come courtesy of slinky succubus, but Kenzi and Lauren. Sure, they were just figments of spider-bit Bo’s hallucinations. But, come on, it was pretty hot — if only for a second. Plus score on for Ksenia Solo for getting to plant some big wet ones on Zoie before Anna Silk.

BADASS BO BADASSERY

Our BFFs have their first real fight about normal BFF stuff. You know — stuff like leaving dirty cereal bowls and unfolded laundry and medieval weapons laying around the house. But while their little tiff makes them feel even more like real-life sisters, the disagreements go from trivial to terrifying thanks to the venomous spider bits. And said venom makes Bo go from horny to horrid, and homicidal. Heck, she even makes a light snack out of poor Hale. Plus it turns Kenzi into less than a peach in her own right — what with the paranoia and pointing a gun at people’s heads and all. Luckily, with an assist from Lauren, they’re able to break the bug’s thrall and avoid some bloody best friendicide.

Oh, and don’t worry, I am totally going to mention the fantastically hilarious shaman scam Kenzi ran on the real estate agent. That is, as soon as I stop laughing.

KENZISM OF THE WEEK

“Did you bring home elves last night? I’m not judging, I just want to know.”

BOOBS O’CLOCK O’ THE WEEK

Right, so this shot is less to ogle Bo’s epic cleavage and more to question her taste in takeout pizza. Because, really, that is some of the grossest, cardboardiest pizza I have ever seen.

So, how about that love-hate triangle action? Also, does anyone have any bug spray?

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