“America’s Next Top Model: All-Stars” recap: Lip synch for your life


Jay tells the girls that they’ll have 20 minutes to hear the tracks to their songs and then they’ll need to put words to them. I don’t understand the purpose of any of this. Someone please bring Madison back!

Whoever wins this challenge gets to fly a special loved one in from home so Shannon is dying to get a piece of her man meat there. She even decides to write her song about him.

Lisa says she’s been writing songs for years so she’s got this one on lock and the music dude seems to agree. Laura is doing well and has somehow managed to only get cuter throughout the competition. When it’s Alexandria‘s turn, she gets constructive criticism from Crouching Music Producer Hidden Gay Man.

When it comes around to Allison’s turn, she quickly hands over her written words and says to the producer, “Tell me if this blows.” He says it’s obviously very personal to her and we find out she’s written about her dad who passed away last year. Now I just want to throw my arms around her and cry.

The challenge for song writing was between Lisa and Angelea. In the end, Lisa won it all again and will be flying in her fiance. I can’t wait to see this guy. Actually I’m betting he’s probably pretty cute and would have to be more tame so as to be able to fit both of their personalities into one household.

When the ladies make their way to the studio, they’re told that Tyra came up with a “great idea” for the girls to somehow incorporate the phrase, “Pot Ledom” into their songs. That’s “Top Model” backwards and I think it’s also “Allison wondering how she can go backwards out of the show.”

Bitchslap number two goes to the music guy who tells the girls to “Remember, we’re making a viral video and it’s all about fun.” No, no no! Viral videos aren’t “made” they just “happen”. Also, way to totally fail in giving Allison any advice or constructive criticism about her song. She might be fascinated with blood but that doesn’t mean her very personal song about her dad’s death would ever be considered “fun.” She is understandably feeling very defeated.

Lisa, on the other hand, is feeling very confident and doesn’t want the girls to try to steal her swag so she decides to go last. I wasn’t aware that she could pick the order in which they went, but OK.

Allison ended up pulling it together but I’m telling you if the judges try to berate her at the table for being emotional or tell her she can’t let her emotions get in the way of her viral video career, I won’t be able to do these recaps any longer because I will have kicked a hole through my television set and then thrown it off of my balcony onto the train tracks below.

Thanks to an inflated ego and a pair of sunglasses, Alexandria totally thinks she’s meant to be a recording artist after this challenge. Lisa goes next and does as well as she expected.

Later on, Lisa’s fiance shows up and I called it. He’s quiet and cute and they seem to make a really great couple. I mean, he’s not in it for the money, we know that much!

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