“Glee” Episode 304 Recap: “Lord Tubbington Thinks You’re Purrfect, and So Do I.”

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In the next scene, Santana spies Rory Leprechaun and lays

down the law. “Do not even think about talking for the next 30

seconds,” she tells him, pony tail snapping. “Nod so I know you

understand me.”

He nods.

“Good. Here’s the deal, Pixie Boy. You’ve got a crush on my girl,

Brittany. I understand. She’s beautiful, she’s innocent, she’s everything

that’s good in this miserable, stinking world. Do you agree? Nod.”

He nods again. Lesbians faint, Twitter explodes. You know

the drill.

“Good. Also, she thinks you’re a spritely green

mythological creature. But you and I know you’re just a potato-eating poser.

But since Brittany

likes having a pet Irish, I’m not going to explode you. So here’s what’s going

to go down.”

We don’t hear what it is, but what Santana expects is to

have a wish of her own granted. She flounces off, leaving a stunned Rory

behind.

In the next scene, Rory is in Brittany’s

bedroom when she walks in, Lord Tubbington in her arms. “Lord Tubbington

snuck out and I found him at Arby’s,” she says. “How did you get in

my room?”

He tells her he blinked, and she buys it. Then he tells her that Santana discovered

he was a leprechaun, and her one wish, which he has to grant, is to have Brittany join the new

glee club. Brittany

is dismayed, because she doesn’t want to hurt her friends.

Meanwhile (this is a word I never use except when writing

recaps), Will goes to Burt’s business and says he wants him to run against Sue.

Turns out Burt had already decided that on his own. He has to run as a write-in

candidate, but figures at least his name is easier to spell than “that

chick in Alaska”

(Lisa Murkowski). The Sarah Palin/Alaska references in this episode are really

mounting up.

Burt is going to run on a platform of saving the arts. He

tells Will, “Your glee club saved my kid’s life. Turns out art can do

that.” Awwww. I love Burt so much.

Will wants to be his campaign manager, and Burt says, “Kurt already

claimed the gig, but I guess he’s gonna need some adult supervision, so welcome

aboard.”

Shelby

is pacing around her condo with a crying Beth. She’s putting her in her crib,

looking like she’s going to cry herself, when there’s a knock at her door. It’s

Puck, thanking her for getting him the pool job in her building. He asks to use

her bathroom, and uses it as an opportunity to remove all the things Quinn had

planted. He sings a really weak version of a weak song, Foreigner‘s “Waiting For a Girl Like You,” which quiets

her down. Then he and Shelby have a heart to heart that’s totally inappropriate

for a woman in her 40s to be having with a 17-year-old boy who fathered her

adopted baby.

At McKinley, Rory tells Finn that Brittany is leaving New Directions, and Finn

storms

up to her in the hall. “Is it true?”

“No, of course not,” she says.

“So you’re not leaving the Glee Club?”

“Oh, I thought you meant the Selena Gomez pregnancy rumors.”

Finn tries to talk her out of it by stressing what a family they are, but

Santana walks up and cuts him off.

“You are such a bacon-wrapped, bug-eyed hypocrite. It’s hilarious how

jealous of Blaine you are,” says the girl

who pouted for an hour after pulling Brittany

away from gay Blaine.

“Every time he opens his dreamboat acapella mouth, you’re just itching to

kick him in the warblers.”

Finn doesn’t respond to her, just begs Brittany

again. She says she didn’t want to leave, but explains about the Rory

Leprechaun wish. Finn blows up, telling her leprechauns aren’t real, neither is

Santa, and it’s time for her to “grow up and stopping being such an

idiot.”

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