“Glee” Episode 304 Recap: “Lord Tubbington Thinks You’re Purrfect, and So Do I.”

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Kurt goes to his

dad to ask him to buy an ad in the program to help save West Side Story, and Burt blows up. He ends up in Figgins

office with three strangers, and tells the principal, “Allow me to

introduce you to some friends of mine from down at the Rotary Club. These are

the directors of Lima’s

three funeral parlors.”

“Strictly speaking, mine is a pet funeral parlor,” interrupts one.

“And mine is a crematorium, so we also bake and deliver delicious brick

oven pizza,” says another.

Burt goes on, “These three businessmen wrote a check today to fund West Side Story

in completion.” He hands Figgins said check.

And the last mortician weighs in: “I’m a big fan of the show just because

there are so many deaths in it.”

On the way out, Burt and Will run into Sue, who says, “Why,

if it isn’t Porcelain’s dad, who may or may not have a baboon heart.”

Burt says he’s going to raise money to keep her from being elected, at which

she threatens to rip his heart out.

Burt just smiles. “Bullies don’t have a very good track

record of messing with the Hummels.”

“I heard,” Sue says, “and I am literally horny with fear.”

She goes on to insult his lack of hair.

On the way out, Burt tells Will, “I would just like to see that woman

lose, just once.” Ah, more foreshadowing.

Rory is getting bullied a lot in this episode, but after a couple of ugly

incidents, he sees Brittany

and cheers right up. He gives her the box of all-marshmallow Lucky Charms, and

finds out her next wish: That Lord Tubbington would poop candy bars.

He invites her to dinner, but she says she already has

plans.

Then he sings Kermit the Frog’s “It’s Not Easy Being Green.”

I didn’t like anyone on The Glee Project,

including this guy. I don’t like his voice, I don’t like this character, and I

don’t like that we’re getting dragged away from our core storylines with a solo

that does zip to advance the story or even Rory’s character and chews up time

that could have been spent on, say, Brittany and Santana making out.

Who are in the very next scene sitting at a table at

Breadstix.

Santana looks a bit uneasy, and says, “Brit, I want to

talk about, you know, that thing that we never talk about?”

“What,” says Brittany,

“that Sour Patch Kids are just Gummy Bears that turned to drugs?”

“Are we dating, or what?”

Brittany

looks confused. “Wait, isn’t this a date? Aren’t you paying?” She

looks down at her plate. “Because I ordered shrimp. Wasn’t last week when

we were taking a bath together, wasn’t that a date?” She frowns. “Are

you crying?”

Santana sweeps her lashes down, then up. “It’s just that I’m really

happy.” You and every lesbian in teevee land, Santana.

Brittany looks

at her fondly. “Well, I told you last year that if I’m single and you’re

single, that we’d mingle.” Then she says that if that brings down her campaign

for the presidency, she’ll just use her remaining leprechaun wish to win.

Which is when Santana learns that Brittany

thinks Rory is a leprechaun and can grant wishes.

Then Brittany

asks if Santana has any wishes, and she says she does. She wants to join the

new glee club, because she’s sick of always being back-up for Rachel; she wants

to shine on her own. “But I won’t join without you,” she tells her.

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