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Gay Girl’s Goggles: “Ringer” SnapCap (1.06)

When only four percent of scripted TV shows feature LGBT characters, what’s a gay girl to do? Why, strap on your gay goggles and watch TV along with us, of course! Our handy appraisal scale is better than any old letter grade. Other sites A+. We say, “What about our lezzy-lady feelings?”

Well, that episode certainly kept us guessing. First, Henry seems like a cold-blooded killer, and crime scene cleaner upper. Then Real Bridget/Fake Siobhan seems like a cold-hearted snitch, and fierce protector of her new life. Then Juliet seemed like a cold-hearted bitch and snotty rich girl. And, even for a split second, I thought maybe Gemma faked her own death. But, really, how many times can one show go to that well? But all those assumptions turned out to be wrong — I think at least. The one thing I know for sure? Really not dead Siobhan is a terrible best friend.

AFTERELLEN BAIT

No Gemma. No Olivia (and therefore no lovely, lovely Jaime Murray). Just a lot more of Sarah Michelle Gellar‘s face doing this. I hope she gets hazard pay for this role and the early wrinkles it is sure to induce with all the perplexed scowling Real Bridget/Fake Siobhan does.

FEELINGS, FEELINGS, FEELINGS

There was a moment at the start of the episode when Juliet, Andrew’s daughter, comes out of her room in micro-short outfit and is told to put on something more appropriate for her first day in public school. Andrew asks Real Bridget/Fake Siobhan her opinion of them and she answers, “It’s a little fabric challenged.” Now that, that sounded like the SMG we know and love from Buffy.

And that, that is exactly what this show is missing — a touch of humor. Look, I have fully accepted that this show isn’t and isn’t trying to be Buffy. Nor is it a sitcom of any sort. But it also doesn’t have to be all dour scowls and grim seriousness. Ringer could benefit from a dose of sly humor — especially dark humor. Plus, you’re really only using a fraction of SMG’s talents. Sure, she’s great with the drama — obviously. But she’s also pretty fantastic with the funny.

TWISTY TURNY

Wow, I honestly did not see that coming. I figured with the ultra-menacing edit they were giving poor Henry that something had to be up. But I didn’t think that a) Henry would accuse Real Bridget/Fake Siobhan of doing the deed, b) Real Bridget/Fake Siobhan would frame herself (well, her Bridget self) for the murder or c) Real Siobhan would be behind the whole thing. I feel like one of those cartoon characters who needs to shake her head and have stuff fall out to get a little clarity. Though the really big question remains, what is Real Siobhan’s endgame here? Why did she want Gemma dead? Why does she want to steal Andrew’s money? Does she want to steal Andrew’s money? Who does she keep talking with on the phone? Is Real Bridget really a hero and Real Siobhan really a villain? Since Bridget raided her emergency escape fund, how is she funding her nefarious Parisian lifestyle — let alone her international roaming cellphone bill?

DOUBLE VISION

I’ll be honest: The FBI agent/crime lord parts of this show bore me. We know the agent won’t catch on anytime soon, or there wouldn’t be a show. And we know the crime lord won’t actually kill Real Bridget/Fake Siobhan anytime soon, or there wouldn’t be a show. So to me they’re just fillers until things get really complicated.

What is more interesting to me, suddenly, is Juliet. The spoiled little rich girl routine was one-note, but now Juliet isn’t just the snotty girl who resents her stepmom. She’s a more layer character with feelings and hopes and a propensity to get in fights in the school hallway. And for those with good memories, her teacher and new friend should look pretty familiar. It’s Jason Dohring, who played Logan Echolls on Veronica Mars. So goes the circle of life on the CW. Begin your career playing a high school student and eventually move on the playing a high school teacher. I can’t wait for Gossip Grannies to premiere in about 30 years.

Though, one note of caution on this whole Juliet and her teacher friend thing. This isn’t Pretty Little Liars. We don’t need another Aria/Ezra. Normal student teacher relationships are good, too.

Right, so just another week of murder, intrigue and twin drama on Ringer. Though, sadly, this will be my last Ringer SnapCap. While I enjoy the show and intend to stick with it, interest and discussion on the recaps has been too low to warrant the continued time and effort. So I thank all of you who have been reading and commenting all along. Maybe someday we’ll even get all of our questions answered, maybe.

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