“The Real L Word” recap: Episode 204


Previously: Corcy finally chose to make a baby the old fashion way – by using PayPal. Sajdah put the pedal to the metal on her 2-week “relationship,” despite being too young to drive. Whitney had a fight with Sara but came back after looking under her soul and finding only dust bunnies. A sober Romi cut Kelsey in half during a freak scissoring accident. And Claire didn’t do anything terribly interesting, but her mane did land a role in the touring company of The Lion King.

This week, Whitney emerges from the revolving door on her bedroom to find Rachel sitting at her computer, eating a raw pepper. Whitney tries a piece because she hasn’t eaten anything but Sara in days. Maternal Rachel worries she’s becoming nothing more than a bunch of dreads on a stick. You mean like this?

Alyssa is out pitching a PSA to the Beverly Hills Red Cross about using endive to collect fresh water, so Rachel uses the opportunity to tell Whitney that she’d like to turn in her Whitney Fan Club decoder ring because of Sara. “I used to look up to you,” Rachel says sadly.

Now defensive and pissy, Whitney says she’s figuring out real emotions, so shut your pepper hole. Rachel tells her straight up, “You are making excuses because you can’t see… She has brainwashed you… every time anybody says anything, you have an excuse for her. There is no excuse.”

If it’s good for her, Whitney doesn’t like it.

In other news, Romi is enjoying being sober and healthy. Instead of sweating out last night’s vodka by running Runyon Canyon with celebrities and Hollywood douchetards, she’s in the decidedly non-trendy section of LA called Echo Park, jogging around the fountain and avoiding her straight counterparts: hipsters.

Romi has an epiphany: There’s more to life than working a craptastic job, only to spend it all on tattoos and vodka shots. Romi says, “There’s something that happens when you get on point.”

What is this “on point” s–t? Kelsey is expected to be “on point” when she’s making change at the 99 Cent Store. Whitney’s dreads smell “on point” in case random fans try to huff her head. I guess it’s what the kids are saying. You know what else is on point? Keeping your clothes on.

Elsewhere, Francine has kicked Claire out of her house for being a boring houseguest. Claire has never lived alone, so she hasn’t yet experienced the joys of walking around naked, eating over the sink, and ignoring the floss that’s hitched a ride on the bottom of your sock and now lives in the hallway.

Claire blames Francine: “She should have told me before I moved out here that it was going to be miserable.” Asians are smart, but we’re not that smart. Besides, just because everyone seems to dress like a gypsy on the show, it doesn’t mean they can predict the future.

Claire finds her own place, a cute studio with exposed brick, and says she’s looking forward to being on her own.

And here’s where I’ll put my business cards.

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