“The Amazing Race: Unfinished Business” recap (18.2): “I Never Looked So Foolish in My Whole Entire Life”

The episode started off with the Cowboys still struggling with the word puzzle. While everyone had sailed off after reciting the pass phrase, “I am between the devil and the deep blue sea,” Jet and Cord were still between furrowed brows and frustrated drawls of “Son of a buck!”

All of the other teams had sailed through the bay and had already received the next clue, which instructed them to head back to Sydney and look for “To Sail To Stop,” a sculpture of an anchor next to Sydney’s Town Hall. The first six teams to find it would be placed on an earlier charter flight to a small mining town a few hundred miles from Sydney. The remaining teams would be placed on a later flight.

Some of the teams climbed into cabs back to Sydney to look for “To Sail to Stop.” Kisha and Jen’s cabbie drove them up to the Maritime Museum. The sisters were skeptical that they were at the right place, but the cabbie assured them that they were.

They were at the wrong place.

So Kisha did what anyone in 2011 would do: She found the nearest internet kiosk to consult the guru known as Google. While she was Googling away, Zev and Justin strolled in the door, discovered Kisha and Jen and decided to help them out by looking over Kisha’s shoulders as she Googled. After Kisha concluded that the next clue was at Town Hall, Zev and Justin plodded after them. Both teams reached Town Hall first and were placed on the first flight.

Some of the other teams took a ferry back to Sydney, including Mel and Mike. Father and son had a moment on the ferry. “I’ll never make it Mike,” said the 70-year-old Mel, who was reclining in pain on his seat. Mike starts bawling, stammering, “I don’t want to kill you for this joy ride.” They hold hands and cry some more. They embrace. Milestone of first tear shed in the season. They also end up being one of the teams on the first flight, along with Margie and Luke.

The teams on the second flight were the Globetrotters, Ron and Christina, Gary and Mallory, Amanda and Kris, and the cowboys, who managed to wander back to Sydney and stumble upon the anchor just in time to catch the flight.

The next challenge was a Detour challenge, in which teams chose between two aboriginal customs, the “spirit” challenge and the “natural” challenge. The “spirit” challenge required teams to use traditional materials to create a mosaic. Then they had to dance on top of it to the approval of an Aboriginal judge. The “natural” challenge required players make Aboriginal paint. Then they had to spit it on their hands to create hand shapes to receive their next clue. Kris and Amanda had been slapped with a U-Turn, so they were required to do both.

Zev and Justin were the first to complete the Detour challenge, and they followed the clue, “Find the Home of the Magpies,” to the Central Football Club. At the Football Club, the teams were given the periodic table of elements with the elements “Hg” and “Bi” highlighted. Then they were told to dress up as kangaroos and bounce around on springy shoes to find the next clue. Yes, I will give you a few moments to process this. Goth couple Kent and Vyxsin had the distinction of being the only team who looked less ridiculous than usual in this challenge.

“Hg” stands for mercury and “Bi” stands for bismuth, and the next clue was hidden in a house on the corner of Mercury and Bismuth streets. The clue told the teams to drive to Junction Mine, the second pit stop. Zev and Justin reached the pit stop first, the Globetrotters second, and the Cowboys managed to make a comeback and finish third. Kisha and Jen finished fourth, Margie and Luke fifth, Mel and Mike sixth, the Goths seventh, and Jaime and Cara eighth. Meanwhile, Ron and Christina and Mallory and Gary were still wandering around in circles like a pack of blind furries. Ron was confused as to what “Hg” and “Bi” on the periodic table stood for. Ron, what kind of Asian are you? Fail.

Eventually, both teams squeaked into the pit stop, leaving Kris and Amanda, who were crippled by the U-Turn, in last place. “I’m bummed,” said Kris, as Phil told them that they were the first to be eliminated. That sucks. You survived a shark tank, and all you got was that lousy kangaroo suit.

The Amazing Race airs Sunday nights on CBS.