It’s 6 p.m. at Seattle Grace Hospital and Meredith and her adorable ponytail are running the ER for the evening. Meredith says that one hour can determine if a patient lives or dies, and they call that hour the “golden hour” (hence the name of this episode). While Meredith works her butt off, Cristina chows down on salt and vinegar potato chips. I’m more of a mesquite BBQ chips girl, myself.
Cristina calls Meredith out for being in a cheerful mood, which Meredith attributes to her fertility drugs. Then Meredith complains about how big her boobs have become because of the drugs. Meredith asks Cristina, “Am I supposed to like big boobs?” Umm … yes, duh!
Lexie finds Meredith and asks her to sign off on her patient who came in the hospital complaining of a migraine. Then Lexie points out her patient’s annoying redhead girlfriend. Cristina and Meredith look over and give the redhead the evil chick eye. (You all know what I’m talking about.)
Cristina tells Meredith that Callie asked her to be her baby’s godmother. Meredith (who appears to be jealous) says, “You said ‘no’ to that, right? You gotta say ‘no’ to that.” Cristina looks shocked as Meredith walks off. Cristina wants to be a godmother? How cute. She’d be even cuter if she took her top off.
Meredith introduces herself to her patient, Oliver. Oliver is having chest pain but he is hoping he’s just indigestion so he can get out of the hospital quickly and take his nine-year old son to a Huskies basketball game. Go Huskies!
Bailey and her hot male nurse get caught flirting in the hallway. I’m glad Bailey is finally getting some.
Meredith goes to check on a new patient and we find out that the new patient is Adele Weber, the Chief’s wife. Adele slipped and fell, injuring her wrist. Meredith tells Adele that she’s the number one patient since she’s the Chief’s wife but suddenly someone more critical walks into the hospital.
Two drunk guys walk in still drinking beer and one of them has a knife sticking out of his head. Yeah, that’s more urgent than a sprained wrist.
Meredith interrupts Derek’s brain surgery to tell him about the guy with the knife sticking out of his head. Avery who is assisting Derek says, “Sweet.” Is “sweet” a medical term?
Derek says he’ll wrap up his surgery and tells Avery to go check on Mr. DrunkKnife in the meantime. Meredith is looking for Teddy and finds Bailey sneaking into an on-call room. Bailey claims she’s just going to take a “nap” alone but we all know she’ll not be napping and won’t be lonely with a male nurse lying inside of next to her.
Meredith tracks down Teddy, who is now off duty and heading out on a date. Teddy tells Meredith she’ll help her out, but she needs to tell her date, William, to hold tight. While Teddy is talking to William, Henry shows up and makes it awkward.
Alex is also off duty tonight but he has to stop by Seattle Grace to sign off on his patient charts before he heads to the Huskies basketball game. Dr. Lucy helps Alex’s sign all his charts because she’s also a basketball fan. Dr. Lucy is into basketball? Maybe Shonda is setting her up to be a lesbian after all. A girl can dream …
Meredith explains to Cristina that she can’t be a godparent to Callie’s kid because there are too many people who have to die before she gets to have the baby. That’s a really creepy thing to say. Then Meredith makes it about herself (like all women do) and explains that Cristina should be the godmother to her and Derek’s baby instead. Why can’t Cristina be godmother to both of the kids? Can she be my godmother too?
Suddenly, there is chaos in the hospital. The Chief yells at Meredith for not informing him that his wife was admitted, the dumb drunk guys (who are still drinking beer) are messing with the knife stuck in his head (someone needs to call the cops and arrest these two drunk fools for public intoxication) then Meredith has to chase after a patient who was released from the hospital but is about to have a stroke. Good catch Meredith! Meredith gets him back into the hospital in time and then scolds Lexie for missing the signs of his stroke. Apparently bad penmanship is a sign. (Which means I may have been experiencing a stroke for the last 23 years.)
Speaking of 23, this episode is 23 minutes in and there is no sign of Callie or Mark. (There was a quick Arizona drive-by, but her story line went nowhere and she was never seen again.)
Wait, I spoke too soon, here’s Mark! Mark is working on the Mr. Drunk Knife and Callie shows up to yell at Meredith for not notifying her that the Chief’s wife is in the hospital and needs an ortho consultation. Callie kisses the Chief and Adele’s ass and checks out Adele’s wrist. (I really like Callie’s shorter haircut. Do you guys like it, too?)
Meredith talks to Adele and notices Adele is a little confused so she orders a head CT to make sure Adele is OK. Teddy is finally ready for her date but then is interrupted again and has to go back to work. Don’t worry, Teddy’s date (William) won’t be bored he’s hanging out with Teddy’s husband, Henry. And I thought lesbians had drama!
Meredith walks by and Dr. Lucy and Alex are signing charts and flirting in a boardroom.
Meredith is back working with her first patient, Oliver, who now needs a CT. I guess Oliver won’t be going to the basketball game with his son after all. Owen checks out Mr. DrunkKnife’s X-rays and luckily the knife didn’t hit any of Mr. DrunkKnife’s brain matter. As Owen and the other doctor’s are conversing about the lack of brain damage, Mr. DrunkKnife’s friend pulls the knife out if his head. Why is that drunk idiot allowed to be in the room with the patient anyway?
Derek comes in to examine Mr. DrunkKnife and sees the knife has already been removed and the patient appears to be fine. Kids, don’t try this at home! Derek’s service isn’t needed so he pulls Meredith into the on-call room and catches Bailey in bed with her hot nurse. GO BAILEY!
Derek slams the door shut and tells Meredith to never ask him what he saw. Don’t the on-call rooms have locks? So Derek improvises and drags Meredith to the elevator and tells her to drop her pants and he’ll be quick. Meredith gasps, “No!” And Derek says, “I’ll be quick. I’ll be in and out.” That’s disgusting, even for me!
Derek asks Meredith where her sense of adventure is and tells her that she should do it for him and their future baby. Then he asks her to turn around. (Karman just asked me, “Don’t they have security cameras in those elevators?”) Good point honey! Then Derek pulls Meredith pants down and sticks her with a needle. Meredith squeals “ouch” and the fertility drugs are in. When the elevator doors open up Derek exits and leaves Meredith all alone and fragile. Derek should know that after you stick it in a woman she likes to be held!
Alex and Dr. Lucy join Meredith in the elevator. Dr. Lucy asks Alex to ask her to the basketball game so he does, but then she says she can’t go to the game because she’s on-call. What a mindf–k! (Which could be more evidence that Dr. Lucy might be a lesbian.)
Meredith’s first patient, Oliver, is starting to code while he’s getting a CT. Meredith finds Teddy and they have to move fast, but all the ORs are booked. Can Seattle Grace get more ORs please?
Teddy and Meredith load Oliver up in the elevator and are in such a hurry they won’t have time to scrub in. Good thing Meredith has anti-bacterial hand sanitizer in her pocket.
Meredith, Teddy and Teddy’s hootchie date night shoes operate on Oliver and he dies on the table. I blame the stilettos.
Teddy tells Meredith to call Oliver’s death but Meredith doesn’t want to give up on him. Teddy tells Meredith once again to call Oliver’s death and she does.
Cristina finds Meredith hanging out in the maternity ward. Meredith tells Cristina that she doesn’t want to share her with Callie. The real reason Meredith doesn’t want Cristina to be Callie’s baby’s godmother is because Meredith is gay and in love with Cristina. No she didn’t say that but I’m trying to make this super boring non-gay episode gay.
Anyway, Meredith is scared that if Cristina is the godmother to Callie’s baby then that will mean Meredith will never have a baby of her own. Which doesn’t make any sense, and once again Meredith makes the issue all about her. Cristina tells Meredith that she’s going off to have an “awkward” conversation with Callie. I guess that means she’s not going to be the baby’s godmother. Can she still be mine though?
Meredith checks on Adele again and is now worried that something else is wrong with her besides her wrist. The Chief finds out that Meredith ordered a head CT and yells at Meredith and insists that his wife doesn’t have Alzheimer’s disease. The Chief scolds Meredith and tells her that Adele is not her mother. Again, duh!
Meredith calls Oliver’s family and delivers the bad news that he died. Mr. StrokePatient is out of surgery and his nagging girlfriend is happy that he’s doing better because they have a non-refundable vacation coming up. Mr. StrokePatient has enough of his whiny girlfriend so he breaks up with her and yells her to get out of his hospital room. Lexie looks on and smiles.
Teddy is finally ready for her date and Henry pulls her aside and gives her the scoop on William. Henry says he thinks Teddy can do better than William, but Teddy goes off on her date anyway. Mind your own beeswax Henry!
Bailey and her boy-toy finish up in the on-call room and head back to work. (I really hope the hospital janitor spends a long time sterilizing that room and then immediately washes his/her hands and burns all of his/her clothing afterward.)
Alex gives Avery his basketball tickets because he decides to stay at the hospital and operate on a little boy who needs surgery and has been overlooked all day. As Alex works on the little boy, Dr. Lucy looks on in the observation room. Is Dr. Lucy stalking Alex?
The Chief checks Adele out of the hospital and helps her into the car. By the look on the Chief’s face you can tell he’s worried that something is seriously wrong with his wife.
Meredith finishes up her phone call to Oliver’s family and heads back to work. The clock strikes 7 pm and we realize that all this medical craziness has happened in one hour. One golden hour.
That wraps up another boring episode of Grey’s. Shonda what are you doing to me? I miss Callie. I miss Arizona. I even miss Mark! OK, that’s not true but at least his storylines are more interesting than Alex’s storylines.
What did you think of this episode?
