“Glee” Episode 212 Recap: Stalker at the Gap

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We ricochet back to the coffee place, where Kurt and Blaine are in line. Blaine’s now turned into a cynic, and sneers at the Valentine’s Day decorations he’d loved before.

“I don’t think I’ve EVER made that big a fool of myself, which is really saying something, because I’ve performed at theme parks,” he says. “I just can’t believe I made it all up in my head.”

And Kurt, bless his strong little heart, lays it on the line. “You and I, we hang out, we sing flirty duets together, you know my coffee order,” he says. “Was I supposed to think that was nothing?”

Blaine, who apparently is not very bright, says, “What do you mean?’

Kurt does a lot of talking in the rest of the scene, and it’s witty and smart and I love it. But his face says more than his words ever could. “I thought the guy you wanted to ask out on Valentine’s Day was me,” he tells Blaine.

Blaine is gobsmacked. “Wow. I really am clueless. Look, Kurt, I don’t know what I’m doing. I pretend like I do, and I know how to act it out in song, but the truth is, I’ve never really been anyone’s boyfriend.”

“Me, neither.”

“Let me be really clear about something. I really, really care about you. But as you and about 20 mortified shoppers saw, I’m not very good at romance. I don’t want to screw this up.”

“So it’s just like ‘When Harry Met Sally’… but I get to play Meg Ryan.”

“Deal.” Then Blake pauses. “Don’t they get together in the end?”

Kurt gives a little smile and steps up to the counter. “Could I get a non-fat mocha, and a medium drip for my friend Billy Crystal?”

Blaine looks at him almost tenderly. “Ah. You know my coffee order.”

Then Kurt’s eyes sparkle and wrinkle up adorably, and he says, “You know what? I think I’ve got something for us to do on Valentine’s Day.”

So, that was our Valentine’s Day Klaine. I think it was pretty clear that our boys are going to give it a try. I’m not sure how Blaine went from, “Huh?” to “I don’t want to screw this up,” in one conversation, but maybe it’s a teenager thing. Or maybe it’s just bad writing. But I’ve decided to do my best Natalie Wood impersonation for them like I’m doing it for Brittana, and chant, “I believe. I believe. It’s stupid but I believe.”

Now for another shot of bitter to dilute all the sweet: Lauren’s stood Puck up. He’s consoling himself by making out with the waitress, says she’s turned on by losers because her dad’s a drug addict.

The next day, Finn gets up in front of the Glee Club and announces he’s kissed every girl in the school and raised $324 – enough to pay for half the ticket to Nationals. (Wait, they haven’t even gone to Regionals yet.)

There’s a lot going on in the choir room in this scene. Finn and Quinn are sick, and Brittany and Artie are holding hands. Then Tina has a complete sobbing breakdown while singing “My Funny Valentine,” and I hope it’s because she’s still in love with Artie, for the simple reason that if he and Brittany don’t break up soon I’m going to die.

When Tina falls to the floor crying, Mike goes to comfort her. Mr. Schuester says, “Wow. That was powerful. Almost too powerful.”

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