“Glee” Episode 212 Recap: Stalker at the Gap

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But our Kurt is not crushed. He does not fall apart. He doesn’t take it personally and he doesn’t blame himself. No, he gets in his jammies and has a sleepover with his fellow divas Rachel and Mercedes. They eat pizza and do each other’s hair, and the girls quiz him about what happened.

They ask if Blaine ever said they were dating, or put the moves on him. Kurt says said no, but that they were “always singing duets and he was always smiling at me… Oh god. I made up the whole thing up in my head, didn’t I?” (Note: No, Kurt, actually you didn’t.)

Yes, Kurt seems kind of upset, but in what I’d call an appropriate and kind of adorable way. (And yeah, if you don’t like Kurt, most likely you hate my recaps. Sorry about that.)

Then the three of them resolve to be strong, single, independent divas like their idols Whitney, Barbra, and Miss Patti Lupone.

“They all become stars while they were single,” Mercedes says. “They took all the pain and loneliness and put it into their music. People could relate to it. Everybody feels lonely. Harnessing this pain is why they became legends.”

Rachel is awestruck. “Why has this never occurred to me?”

Mercedes wisely says they all need to fly solo for a while, and Kurt says, “It’s so nice to be around girls for a change,” and we have a cute group hug.

Back in the choir room, Puck and the glee guys sing Queen’s “Fat Bottomed Girls.” To Lauren. While Santana has a complete breakdown and everyone else seems kind of confused. At one point, Lauren takes off her glasses.

I actually like this song, and the guys do a great job with it. But that’s not to say I don’t see all kinds of problems with the message in this song as well. And Lauren? She does not look happy. Well, for a second she does. Or is she shocked?

Then Brittany and Mike are dancing, which makes most things much more enjoyable. But at the end, Santana comes down and gives the evil eye sign to Puck and then Lauren, and leaves the room.

Puck goes over to Lauren and asks what she thought. He says he knows she’s “on the heavier side,” but says he’s kind of into it.

Lauren somehow manages to resist his almost immeasurable charm. “That was the first time anyone ever sang me a love song, and it made me feel like crap.”

And I, in my infinite shallowness, notice that she has awesomely beautiful eyes. (Should I say something about Puck’s arms now, to make sure I have gay boy parity in this recap? Consider it said.)

Meanwhile, back at Finn’s kissing booth… Becky shows up with her dollar, and he kisses her cheek. There’s a long line, but he tells the girls he has to take an oral hygiene break. That’s when Quinn shows up and says she knows he’s just doing this to get her to kiss him (true), and he says it’s too bad she’s too uptight to spend a buck for a cause like the Glee Club.

“What are you so afraid of?” he asks her, very much like a sick manipulative creep.

She, however, has a good answer: “Leading you on. Hurting my boyfriend.”

Finn continues with his creepy guy thing, getting right in her face and saying, “Tell me you don’t want to kiss me right now.”

She looks like she’s about to cry, says, “I can’t do this,” and leaves. What an asshole you are, Finn.

Turns out Sam saw, and he confronts her in the library. He says that it’s odd she hasn’t kissed Finn at his booth – must be because she likes being the queen bee, and being with Finn will put her up there. What an asshole you are, Sam.

However, for reasons I can’t comprehend right now, the girls keep flocking to the kissing booth. Even Rachel, who tells Finn she’s over him and realized she’s better off without anyone. He kisses her cheek, and she explodes that a peck on the cheek isn’t worth a dollar.

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