“Glee” Episode 212 Recap: Stalker at the Gap

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Mercedes tells Finn to not “even act like you’re trying to help Glee Club; you just want to kiss a bunch of girls.”

Santana snorts and says, “I’ve kissed him. And let me just say, not worth a buck. I would, however, pay a hundred dollars to jiggle one of his man boobs.”

Finn glares. “Do you get tired of tearing other people down?”

She shrugs him off. “No, not really.”

Finn accuses her of always getting into other people’s business, and she says, “Oh, please. You guys love me. I keep it real, and I’m hilarious.”

“Actually, you’re just a bitch,” Lauren says.

Miss Santana says Lauren just has “eyes for my man,” and Puck is all, whoa, “First of all, I’m not your man.”

“And Finn is right; all you ever do is insult us,” says Quinn, still feeling the sting of that whole “lizard baby” thing.

Tina piles on, too, and says Santana told her Mr. Schu should be in a 12-step program.

“What?” says Will.

“You’re addicted to vests,” Santana explains.

Rachel‘s had enough. “The truth is Santana, you can dish it out but you can’t take it.”

Santana looks at Brittany, but Rachel goes on. “Maybe you’re right, maybe I am destined to play the title role in the Broadway version of ‘Willow,’ but the only job you’re going to have is working on a pole.”

And now Santana’s had enough, and walks out. Brittany apparently follows her, because in the next scene, Santana’s bawling her eyes out while Brittany strokes her hair.

Artie who?

“You could try rocking back and forth,” Brittany offers. “People do that in movies.”

“No. (SOB) Because I just try (SOB) to be really, really honest with people when I think that they suck. You know?”

Brittany nods, “Yeah,” and touches her back consolingly.

Lauren walks by, heading for Puck. She tells him she isn’t grateful he stood up for her because it makes it look like she needs someone to stand up for her.

Puck falls all over himself to assure her she’s all kinds of tough.

“That’s true.”

He invites her to Breadstix for Valentine’s Day. She smiles disbelievingly and asks if he really thinks it’s that easy. “I’m not desperate, so if you really want this, you best come correct. Because I spell woman Z-i-z-e-s. And I need to be wooed. Understand me? Wooed.”

She walks off. He follows with his eyes and reverently murmurs, “Damn.”

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