“Glee” Episode 212 Recap: Stalker at the Gap


Finn and Quinn both announce they’re sick and have to go to the nurse, and Santana connects the dots for everyone. Mono, she says, is the kissing disease – spread especially well by a little tongue action.

When Finn and Quinn are lying side by side in the nurse’s office, Quinn says, “I’ve cheated twice in my life. The first time I got pregnant, the second time I got mono. I think the universe is trying to tell me something.”

Then she tells Finn nothing’s going to happen between them until she figures things out with Sam, and he figures things out with Rachel. She says that when he’s not staring at her, he’s staring at Rachel – but I kind of think she’s wrong about that.

When Puck confronts Lauren about standing him up, she simply acts like she forgot.

“Look,” he says, frustrated, “I understand you’ve been hurt by guys, but you’ve got to understand, I’m not like that.”

She lifts one beautiful eyebrow. “Well, A, you got a girl pregnant last year so yeah, ya are. And B, what makes you think guys treat me badly? I can take care of myself.”

“That’s what I like about you. I’m not into you because you have curves. What I like is that you’re a girl who’s an even bigger bad ass than me.”

Finally, he’s said something she likes. “Can I be honest with you?” she says, rhetorically, I presume. “I like you. I used to think you were smokin’, but a lot of that had to do with the fact that I thought you were mixed-race and that never fails to get me going. Here’s the thing, Puckerman. I’m not just looking for somebody to fool around with. So if you’re really into me, you’ve gotta take it slow.”

He agrees to give that a try, and they make a date to go out on Valentine’s Day, but just as friends.

Rachel, who is still all mopey over Finn despite all the pep talks about independence and flying solo, wanders in and puts a cool cloth on Finn’s head, where he’s now alone in the nurse’s office, waiting for his mom.

Rachel mewls around about how she’s not as pretty as Quinn, and Finn’s annoyed. “Would you stop? You’re beautiful.”

Rachel asks, “Did you kiss her, like Santana said?”

He says he did, but just because he needed to get it out of his system. Rachel asks what it felt like, and when he says, “Fireworks,” she asks if he felt them when he kissed her. He doesn’t answer.

Rachel takes it in stride, thanking him for setting her free to pursue her dreams. She sings Kate Perry’s “Firework,” a song I’ve never liked but loved wildly when Rachel sang it. It’s one of those numbers where she’s singing it as she walks through halls of the school, and then she’s in the choir room singing it with Tina, Lauren, Brittany and even Santana, and then on stage, and then back in the halls, and on and on. I love when they do that.

Okay, the love fest is almost at an end. The whole gang’s at Breadstix, Santana by herself, Brittany with Artie, Puck with Lauren (but as friends, as she keeps snapping her hand away when he tries to take it), Rachel with Mercedes, Tina and Mike, and Sam either alone or with Quinn – was she there?

Kurt’s there with the Warblers, and he takes the mike and welcomes everyone to the “first annual lonely hearts dinner.”

“Whether you are single with hope, or madly in love and are just here because I forced you to come out and support me, sit back and enjoy! And to all the singles out there, this is our year.”

Then the Warblers – with Blaine as ever in the lead, even here in Kurt’s home territory – sing the puke-tastic “Silly Love Songs,” a Paul McCartney and Wings number so banal, so saccharine, so cutesy, that I’d actually suppressed all memory of its existence until Blaine started singing.

The Warblers are actually pretty cute in this number, with some of the guys flirting and dancing with Santana. They sing to Puck, “Love doesn’t come in a minute,” and then to Santana, “Sometimes it doesn’t come at all.” And then Kurt makes a totally adorable move, shaping a heart with his hands, over to Rachel and Mercedes. Best moment of the show.

Then Santana makes eyes at Sam and waves at him, and he perks up, and I just give up. The end.

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