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“Grey’s Anatomy” minicap: Episode 11 – “Disarm”

After many weeks of waiting Grey’s Anatomy is finally back! As Meredith and Derek sit in bed, Meredith grills Derek for details about his fishing trip with Cristina. Get over it Meredith, you weren’t invited on the fishing trip!  P.S. I like your new bangs.

Meredith wants the whole story but Derek insists that they just talked about fishing. (Which they actually did and it was quite boring.)

Meredith asks Derek, “Did Cristina mention me? Does she think about me, like I constantly think about her?” No, she didn’t really ask those questions but that’s what she really wants to know. In the middle of their spat Meredith says to Derek, “I’m ovulating.” Derek rolls his eyes and takes his pants off. Nothing puts me in the mood like a nagging partner. If Meredith and Derek conceive a baby while they are talking about Cristina does that mean Cristina is the father?

Meredith tells Derek that he stole her best friend and it’s not ok for him to hang out with Cristina. Meredith is so mad at Derek that she doesn’t want to look at him during sex. Derek tells Meredith to roll over so they can “do it” and avoid eye contact. Yuck!

Speaking of yuck, Cristina and Owen are also in bed doing the deed. But Cristina is not discussing Meredith instead she’s discussing Thai food. (My favorite Thai dish is Pad Ka Prow tofu with extra bamboo shoots.)

And McSteamy is getting steamy with Lexie, so I guess that means they are back on. Man, this staff has strong libidos!  All the while, Arizona is still sitting outside Callie’s front door. Do you think she’s been sitting out there since Thanksgiving?

Callie tells Arizona to go back to Malawi and then walks away. Callie, don’t be so rash!

You know who should be rash? Teddy! Teddy is going to marry her patient Henry (the ex-Mrs. Jennifer Garner, Scott Foley).  Henry has a big tumor and no health insurance so Teddy is marring Henry to save his life. Which is a nice gesture, but isn’t that insurance fraud? Teddy and Henry have a quick shotgun wedding and their only witness is Owen. These doctors really need to get other friends outside the hospital.

Cristina attempts to be a civilian and go sight seeing at the Seattle Space Needle, but when she sees a bunch of ambulances speed by she chases them down like a dog chases a mail carrier. Why do dogs do that?

At Seattle Grace, the Chief tells Arizona that she can’t have her job back because he’s given her position to Dr. Stark who has a one-year contract with the hospital.  Arizona is shocked. Really? Did you think everyone and everything in your life was just going to stay frozen until you returned and thawed it out? Femmes are such divas! And I say this because I’m a femme.

Alex gives Arizona a warm greeting and Arizona wants to find out the scoop on Dr. Stark. Well, he’s real name is Peter MacNicol and he was born on April 10, 1954 in Dallas Texas. He won an Emmy in 2001 for his role as John Case on Ally McBeal and he’s 5’8″ but he really looks like he’s 4′ 8.”

This is a hospital, so let’s get to operating. There has been a terrible incident at Pacific College, a gunman opened fire on students and faculty and now all of the victims are on route to Seattle Grace. Cristina finally caught up to the ambulances and arrives at the crime scene. Bodies are being loaded onto stretchers and Cristina sees a man whose been shot in the chest and needs to have his chest cracked open. Just another reason I could never be a doctor.

Back at Seattle Grace the Chief gives the staff a pep talk and tells them that these victims are their brothers and sisters. Well technically Lexie and Meredith are sisters. If Grey’s is on the air a few more seasons I have a feeling there will be some long lost siblings revealed in future storylines. McSteamy and Alex do have similar noses.

The mass shooting is bringing up a lot of memories from the past. Lexie is overwhelmed with emotions and McSteamy tells her to go call the blood bank so she can compose herself.

The ambulances arrive and the patients are being loaded into the hospital. Owen and Teddy approach an ambulance and when the doors open they see Cristina inside pumping a patients heart with her bare hands, so much for easing back into surgery slowly. Owen and Teddy looked shocked. Is our little Cristina back in the saddle?

Cristina’s hands are still inside the patient as she and Teddy head into the OR together to operate. Teddy calls in Avery as back up in case Cristina freaks out and can’t handle the surgery. 

Alex is teamed up with Dr. Stark and working on a 15-year old boy in the OR. Dr. Stark instructs Alex that they will need to amputate the boy’s leg. Alex says there is another way, but Stark is insistent that the leg should go. I want a second opinion! 

Alex looks up into the observation room and sees Arizona. Gosh, she’s pretty! Alex yells up to her for help. Arizona tries to reason with Stark who says that she has no right to be there since she’s no longer an employee at Seattle Grace. Acting like a lesbian who played rugby in college, Arizona tells Alex to “body block” Stark so he can’t cut the boy’s leg off while she goes to get help.

Arizona finds the Chief and asks him to give her hospital privileges. The Chief says it’s all hands on deck so everyone has privileges. (Even the janitors?)  Arizona races back to the OR and passes Callie on the way. Arizona yells to Callie to follow her so Callie races down the hall after her.

There is a coup against Stark and Arizona and Callie take over his patient. Stark leaves the OR with rage in his eyes. 

Derek and Meredith are constantly bickering in the OR. I bet if Meredith and Cristina were a couple they wouldn’t bicker at all. They would just burn sage and give each other foot massages all day long.

The Chief is working on the police officer that was shot in the chest. The police officer needs to be woken up so he can identify the shooter since he’s the only one who saw him clearly.

The whiney Stark finds the Chief and starts scream about how Arizona embarrassed him and took away his patient. What a little bitch! The Chief yells back at Stark, “Go save a life!” Oh, snap!

Owen is watching the news and sees that there are at least a dozen more patients coming to the hospital to be treated. The hospital is out of ORs and Owen says to Alex, “We’re screwed.” How Shakespearean!

Back in the OR, Cristina, Avery and Teddy are working on their patient and the Chief comes in and asks what the patient looks like and what he was wearing when he arrived at the hospital. It turns out that the 20-something male patient they are working on is the shooter. Yep, Cristina saved the damn shooter’s life. I foresee more therapy in Cristina’s future. 

Teddy tries to regroup and continue operating. One of the nurses backs out of the surgery because she doesn’t want to save the shooter. Avery speaks out and says that he’s no longer working on the shooter either. Cristina and Teddy stay to operate as the others exit.

Since there are no more ORs the other doctors have to work fast and operate on their patients in a trauma rooms.

While Callie and Arizona are working together on the 15-year old boy, Arizona wants to talk about their relationship. Callie doesn’t want to talk to Arizona. She just wants to fix the boy’s leg in silence and leave.

Derek and Meredith are still bickering and Derek calls her, “A spoiled brat.” That would not fly in my house. Meredith storms out of the OR to go update the patient’s wife on his condition.

In the waiting room a police officer pulls aside the shooters mother to deliver her the news. The mother is in shock and doesn’t believe that her son could do something like that.

Lexie is working on a patient and gets overwhelmed. McSteamy comes over to assist her.

Alex is working on a patient and calls out to Avery for assistance. Avery tells Alex that Teddy is working on the shooter and brags about how he refused to help someone who hurt others. Alex offers up another perspective since his own brother has mental problems and has been violent towards others in the past. Although, Alex doesn’t condone his brother’s behavior he still loves his brother.

Avery and Alex start to loose their patient and Bailey comes over and starts screaming up at the sky at God, “You bastard! You better send this boy back right now!”  Just then the boy comes back. Bailey apologizes to God for swearing at him/her and walks away.  And I think to myself, “What the hell just happened?  When did Bailey become Jim Bakker?”

Meredith gathers up everyone in the waiting room and takes them on a field trip to a different part of the hospital where they observe a sea of people with candles holding a vigil and singing the Pacific College’s alma mater.

As the alma mater is sung, we see a montage of the doctor’s operating. Teddy thanks Cristina for staying and operating with her. Cristina says it was easy.

Back in the waiting room Derek and Meredith tell their patient’s wife that her husband survived but is in a coma. Avery also walks around the waiting room delivering good news to other family members who are waiting for their loved one. Avery sees the shooter’s mother sitting in the corner alone crying. Avery asked her if anyone has spoken to her about her son. She has only talked to the police who found a suicide note in her son’s jeans. Avery feels bad for the woman so to calm her down he tells her that Teddy is her son’s doctor and she’s a great surgeon. The woman thanks Avery for the update.

Arizona is all smiles and bubbles and says today was a “huge victory.”

Arizona says to Callie, “Whatever else happened today, we worked together well. So thank you. Thank you for coming when I asked you to come and for fighting Stark with me.”

Callie gives her a look and walks away.

Arizona stops her, “Calliope!” (I love her full name!) “I am so deeply, deeply, deeply sorry for hurting you so much. I’m so sorry because I’m so in love with you and I will spend the rest of my life telling you that. I will apologize to you everyday if that’s what you need but please, please don’t walk away again.  I came across the world to be with you. I love you. Please.”

Callie, “You had to fly across the world to get to me Arizona because you flew a whole world away without ever looking back.  You just left.  And this might be news to you, and I think it kind of is, but you’re not the only in this relationship. There are two of us. And you came back today but I didn’t. Whatever else happened, that hasn’t changed.”

Callie walks off. Oh snap. Arizona, you are in the doghouse.

Derek finds Meredith looking down at the vigil. Derek says, “I know you’re mad it me for taking Cristina fishing. And I know you think it didn’t work but she’s in OR One.”

Meredith, “What?”

Then Meredith skips off to the OR one like a child on Christmas morning.

Cristina and Teddy continue working on the shooter and Derek, Meredith and the Chief gather in the observation room to watch. Soon all the doctors have gathered and are witnessing Cristina and Teddy save the shooter’s life. And save him they do. The Chief announces to everyone that they saved 26 patients. There were only 26 victims so they had no causalities. Lexie, Bailey and April all begin to cry. (Note: the men and the lesbians don’t shed any tears.) Then all the doctors begin to laugh. Dr. Stark is confused and stands up and says, “I hate this place.” Then he exits. The Chief turns to Arizona and tells her that he can hire her back but she’s going to have to work under Stark. Uh oh!

Lexie finds McSteamy fixing a young patient’s stitches so she won’t have such a large scar. Lexie tells McSteamy to take his time because she loves him and she will wait for him. Teddy shows up at Joe’s Bar have a drink with her new “husband.”  Henry wants to toast because he’s never been married before.

Dear Shonda Rhimes,

Are you going to make Teddy fall in love with this putz? Seriously, Teddy can do so much better than Scott Foley and his big tumor!

Love,

Bridget

Meredith and Cristina meet in the hallway and fireworks begin to explode above them as Celine Dion‘s “My Heart Will Go On” begins to pump through the hospital speakers. After a few moments of silence Cristina asks Meredith if she wants to get a drink.  Meredith says “yes” and Cristina and Meredith link arm and arm and walk off. Is it just me, or did Cristina ask Meredith out on a date? It’s so confusing when girls ask girls out. I guess if Cristina buys, then it’s a date. And, therefore, Meredith is required to put out.

I can’t wait for next week! Can you?

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