“Skins” retro recap 3.09: Katie and Emily


Sometimes I wonder if God created the sun just so he could shine it on Naomi and Emily. Nobody lights up light the way they do.

Their lipstick is smeared and their hair is askew and their limbs are akimbo and Naomi is smiling like Christmas. I wonder — you have to wonder, don’t you — if this is the Naomi that Emily saw all along. Emily makes Naomi laugh, relishes it; caresses Naomi’s back, delights in it. Naomi calls what they have a “secret,” and Emily says her name, just once: “Naomi?” like a prayer. Naomi smiles and the sun gets brighter.

Emily wants them to go to the ball, like a couple. Naomi doesn’t want to because she’s “not sure” like Emily. Emily says, “Fine, you like boys, too” assuming Naomi means she’s not sure about the whole queer thing, but I always get the feeling that Naomi is not sure about the whole “relationship/love/soul mate when you’re 16” thing. Naomi’s not the kind of girl to shy away from a little controversy; she is, however, the kind of girl to just f–king bolt from undiluted adoration. (And we know that, of course, because of time travel.) Emily begs it: “Come to the ball with me!” Naomi says no. And Emily storms out, half-dressed with a shot right to the heart: She’s not an experiment; she’s got more self-respect than that. And she’s done holding hands through the cat-flap.

Out in the cold, in the rain, Thomas finds Emily at a bus stop. He gives her his coat, his shoes, and she gives him the truth: “I’m gay, Thomas.” He’s affectionately impassive about it, worried about what actually matters — that she’s going to freeze to death — and so he shuttles her into a taxi and sends her home.

(I like to think that’s what it will be like to come out in 15 years. “I’m gay.” “Cool, do you want to order pizza or Chinese for dinner?”)

At home, Katie’s been moping about all day in a dressing gown, uncovering Emily’s stash of porn and noticing for the first time ever that she is to David Beckham as Emily is to Audrey Hepburn. I wish I had time wax lyrical about this entire scene because it’s one of my favorites on any show ever. Why can’t there be a Fitch Family sitcom? WHY WHY WHY? What’s important is that James Fitch is amazing in every way, dropping bombs like the “F” one and “bollocky wankshite” all over the dinner table. Rob sits there looking exactly like my college boyfriend talking about pish-ups exactly like my college boyfriend. (I’m serious. The first time I saw this episode I sent a screencap to my sister and said, “Who does this look like?” And she said, “OMG! [Name of college boyfriend]!”)

Emily comes in dressed like Katie dressed like a thunderstorm.

Jenna wants to know if a “boy did this” to her. Emily says it was a girl. Rob says fighting with a girl isn’t ladylike, and Emily comes out in the most spectacular fashion: “No, Dad, I’ve been making love to a girl, OK? Everyone satisfied? Her name’s Naomi; she’s rather beautiful, so I was nailing her.”

Rob thinks it’s the funniest joke he’s ever heard and he laughs and laughs.

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