“Grey’s Anatomy” minicap: “Slow Night, So Long”


Welcome to Grey’s Anatomy’s "Slow Night, So Long." We enter the McDreamy household and all the Residents are waking up to work the night shift. Avery is having a screaming nightmare and Lexie comes into his bedroom to calm him down and check out his big, bulging muscles.

Derek just finished working the day shift and he walks by Alex’s room and sees him waking up with his bloody bruised eye. Then Derek passes Lexie yawning in the hallway, and is startled by April, who has made breakfast even though it’s 6 pm at night. I love breakfast for dinner!

Derek isn’t interested in the late night French toast and instead crawls into bed with Meredith. Derek tells Meredith that he received the Alzheimer’s grant. Yippee, it’s time to celebrate! Will the McDreamies have some McSex? Nope, Meredith has to head out to work the night shift and leaves her McHusband behind to McMasturbate.

Meredith drives the McResidents to work and there is awkward tension in the car. Avery, Alex and April are all squished in the back seat.  If I were April, I’d beg Lexie to let me ride shotgun. Alex and Avery tease each other about their scuffle and April is protecting her virgin body while looking out the car window.

We enter Seattle Grace Hospital with the yawning Residents, who are greeted by the Attendings. The Attendings pass off their patients to the Residents, give them their medical instructions and head out for the night.

Owen takes Avery aside to check in on him. Avery says he’s good and doesn’t need to talk to anyone. Avery’s wearing a shirt, so he can’t be that good. I thought Avery was allergic to wearing fabric on his upper body.

At Joe’s Bar, Derek is greeted and congratulated by McSteamy (who I saw shopping with his Noxzema wife in FAO Schwarz at the Beverly Center this weekend) Bailey and Callie. The doctors are there to celebrate Derek’s grant but are instead shocked when they see Cristina (who is dressed like Debbie Gibson from the 1980s) pouring drinks at the bar.

Yes, Cristina Yang-Hunt is acting like Piper Perabo in the cinematic classic Coyote Ugly.

Derek walks up to the bar and asks Cristina why she’s working there. Cristina says because Owen told her to get a job. Don’t judge her Derek! At least Cristina’s not working the pole.

Oh my god! As I typed that line McSteamy just said, “What’s so bad about bartending? She’s not dancing on a pole!”  First McSteamy and I are in the same place at the same time and now we are thinking the same thoughts. I’m pretty sure he’s stalking me! Is it considered stalking if it’s just in my head?

Back at Seattle Grace, two severe trauma patients are rushed in and Lexie and Avery must tend to them. The patients are brothers who tried to outrun a train, and the train won. Trains aren’t something to play around with. These brothers should have watched Danny Devito’s Throw Momma from the Train, another cinematic classic! The ambulance workers bring in a severed foot and Lexie looks at Avery and says she wants to call Owen for help. Avery says no, they can do it without him. Then Avery looks at the second brother who is bloody and mangled he tells Lexie that she should call Owen. Women are always right!

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