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The AfterEllen.com Huddle: Lesbian story sequels we’d like to see

This week, we learned Sapphire will be publishing a sequel to Push, and that Annette Bening would love to reprise her role in The Kids Are All Right. So we got to thinking about all the other lesbian storylines we’d love to see become sequels, or just become furthered in some form. Here’s what the AfterEllen.com Team came up with.

The Linster: I’d like to see Carmen after Shane, with her finding love and happiness with the anti-Shane, complete with the big wedding she wanted and family members right in the middle of it. Maybe My Big Fat Latina Lesbian Wedding.

Lesley Goldberg: I’d like to see what happens to Randy (Laurel Holloman) and Evie (Nicole Ari Parker) in 1995’s The Incredibly True Adventures of 2 Girls in Love. They had everything going against them: their families, classmates, homophobic minds of their small-town community, but none of it mattered. It’s not only a coming out story for Evie, but it also ends with their coming out as a couple and letting society adapt to them instead of the other way around. In my mind, Randy cleans up her act and becomes an activist, butting heads with old-school community leaders, while Evie eventually turns up in a classroom doing the same while teaching. I couldn’t love this movie more if I tried.

Plus, you know, more Laurel Holloman.

Courtney Gillette: Dear Jaime Hernandez, Thank you. Thank you for Maggie and Hopey, and for pages upon pages upon volumes upon volumes of the two most badass chicana females to ever hit California, let alone to ever hit a comic book store. I’ve yet to find a more nuanced portrait of punk rock working class gals who j’g a little on the side – friends with benefits? Pansexual besties? Whatever you wanna call them (or not call them), I’m so in love with them. Come super heroes, band break ups, angry luchadora aunties, heart break, and rocket ships, Maggie and Hopey have a rock solid connection and attraction.

So, why not let them be together for real? Nothing like marriage – Hopey is way too anti-establishment for that. But let’s say they get hip to the fact that they’re meant to be together. Skip Maggie’s divorce, skip Rosie, skip the strange tension over so many things. Let’s say they get together and stay together – it’ll be unconventional, it’ll be sticky, but I’d expect nothing less from La Hopey and Maggot. Let’s say they get out of Hoppers and open a mechanic garage for Maggie to run. And maybe it can be a music venue at night, where Hopey works the door, wise cracking all the acts. They’ll have a home where the new punk rock kids come and hang out, the little queers who want to grow up to be mechanics like Maggie, or luchadoras, or guitarists, or, heck, comic book artists.

In Love and Rockets, where one page you’re in a burger joint and the next page you’re talking to a girl with horns, it wouldn’t be too far fetched to see an alternative world where Maggie and Hopey fall in real deal love. But then again, I’ve never seen anything predictable happen in these pages. I guess I’ll just keep nursing my massive crush on Hopey Glass and cross my fingers that she’s really out there.

Dara Nai: A few years ago, Gina Gershon told me she’d jump at the chance to do a Bound sequel, if only someone would write it. Obviously, there’s more to it than having a script in hand, but her point was she’d “do it in a second,” and that’s good enough for me. Here’s my pitch, Gina: Call it Rebound. Call it Unbound. Call it anything you want, just call me!

We learn Corky and Violet’s happy ending was short-lived: Corky’s back in prison on a parole violation when she hears Ceasar’s body has been found. Corky and Violet know it won’t be long before the mob comes looking for Violet. Unable to protect Violet from behind bars, Corky has Violet help her bust out of prison, and not a moment too soon.

Narrowly escaping the mob’s goons, Corky and Violet are aided and abetted by Corky’s ex-cellmate, a forger “whose only crime was getting caught.” Violet instantly hates her when she learns the woman is also Corky’s ex-girlfriend. Nonetheless, they offer the ex a nice payday, if she’ll help them get their money, which sits in a bank under a false name.

After getting their dough using forged documents, Corky and Violet want to leave the country, but discover the ex has ripped them off because she’s greedy, and mad at Corky for whoknowswhat. They confront her. Corky convinces the ex to tell her where the money is and then, in walks Mickey. Violet’s wiles don’t work on him anymore; he now sees she played him back in the day. Mickey kills the ex and is about to kill Corky and Violet when the cops burst in, looking for Corky, their fugitive.

All three get busted, but Corky and Violet go into Witness Protection after testifying against the mob. They slip their new identities, get the money once and for all, and live happily ever after in South America.

The End?

Grace Chu: As Lady Gaga and Beyoncé drive towards the horizon, gloved hands intertwined, a helicopter and a fleet of police cars are in pursuit. They approach a cliff.

“Honey B,” purrs Gaga, “What is this?”

“Gaga, I think it’s the vast Grand Canyon!”

“Isn’t it beautiful, Honey B?”

“Yeah, it’s something.”

They share a disappointingly chaste kiss on the lips, which makes it onto Morning Brew but isn’t significant enough for its own blog post.

Beyoncé floors the Pussy Wagon. The truck flies over the edge of the cliff into the canyon below. The police chase ends. The helicopter does a U-turn and flies away.

Cut to the following scene: Lady Gaga and Beyoncé are dangling from aledge below the lip of the canyon. They pull themselves up onto the ledge and share an embrace. They look into each other’s eyes and lean toward each other.

At this precise point, Lady Gaga’s phone rings, because there is a better chance of The Situation finding Jesus and becoming celibate than Lady Gaga and Beyoncé actually making out in a music video. Close up of a Virgin Mobile handset. Linger on the Virgin Mobile logo. It is a Virgin Mobile phone, people. Did I say Virgin Mobile?

A name pops up on the screen. It’s Quentin Tarantino. Gaga answers.

“What the f–k?! You wrecked my car!” shrieks Tarantino.

Gaga and Beyoncé look at each other, put one hand over their mouths and giggle. Gaga tosses the phone into the canyon.

Gaga and Beyoncé hitchhike on the side of the road. They are headed to Mexico. Inexplicably, several backup dancers also appear by the side of the road.

The dance routine is one part In Livin’ Color fly girl, two parts fox trot, with a dash of Russian imperial dance. The wardrobe design contains elements inspired by vintage roller derby uniforms, Dada and Voltron. The cacti in the background are painted silver. Taken as a whole, the choreography, outfits and set design can be interpreted as a call for a repeal of the Defense of Marriage Act. (This is true, because Lady Gaga will say so to Barbara Walters, and Barbara Walters will nod in agreement.)

Cut to a shot of Gaga and Beyoncé dancing on top of a tractor trailer, which has a very prominent mural of Miracle Whip on the side. The mural is very prominent. Someone wants you to buy Miracle Whip. As the truck careens towards Mexico with Gaga and Beyoncé dancing, outfits changing every five seconds, gays everywhere squeal with delight but are secretly perplexed.

Fade to black.

Heather Hogan: In a land of myth and a time of magic, the best writing and acting and directing and producing in the whole entire world collided into an epic storm of epic epicness – and thus was born Naomily. At this point, if you call yourself “lesbian” or “bisexual” or “homo” or “queer” or “alive” and you haven’t watch Skins, I don’t know what to tell you. (Actually, yes I do: Go punch yourself in the face.)

But because you’re awesome, you have watched Skins, and so you know that there is still so much of Naomi and Emily’s story left to tell. What happened in Goa? What happened with they went away to university? What happened when Naomi and Katie F–king Fitch were forced to spend holidays together? What happened when they got married and had babies and lived HAPPILY EVER AFTER? Well, I mean, we know what happened. I’d just like to see it with my eyes. And have the ability to rewind it, and watch it again and again and again.

Karman Kregloe: Fried Green Tomatoes. This is a fake press release for the sequel that was issued by my mind:

Fried Green Tomatoes 2: Grease Fire Set to Film This Summer

In good news for fans of lesbian subtext:, the sequel to the popular 1992 film Fried Green Tomatoes will begin shooting this summer. The original film was criticized for de-gaying the lesbian relationship that is central to the Fanny Flagg novel upon which it was based. But times have changed, and “filmmakers are now ready and willing to cater to lesbians and voyeuristic straight men,” says director Zalman King.

Enter Fried Green Tomatoes 2: Grease Fire, which King says will focus on what we didn’t see in the original, “the really hot honeymoon period — after the trial and before Ruth got cancer.”

Taking on the role of tomboy Idgie Threadgoode will be Battlestar Galactica alum Katee Sackhoff, and set to star opposite Sackhoff, as femme southern belle Ruth Jamison, is Olivia Wilde (House, Tron).

The central action of the film will take place at The Whistle Stop Café, where “Idgie and Ruth play hostesses by day, and intense psycho-sexual games by night.” Complications arise when a mysterious preacher (Megan Fox) comes to town, “spreading a sexy gospel that the devout, insatiable Ruth cannot resist.”

Filming will begin on location in Juliette, Georgia in July. Shirley Lynn Phelps-Roper and the Westboro Baptist Church will begin protesting in June.

Jamie Murnane: It’s hard to believe it’s been two whole years since we’ve seen Spencer and Ashley, AKA Spashley. The teen lesbians brought to us by the same folks behind Degrassi: The Next Generation only had three seasons, but that was enough to win many people over. And plenty of time to break up, get back together, break up, kiss boys, kiss other girls, survive a high school shooting, tragically lose a sibling, make a film, get a homophobic mom to join PFLAG, get a record deal, etc., etc. Sure, Spencer was a new gay from Ohio, but she was no stranger to drama.

In the end (which clearly came too quickly), Spencer and Ashley decide to go all in and U-Haul it up, with Spencer moving into Ashley’s amazing L.A. loft that she bought with the inheritance left to her by her late rocker father, of course. But where are they now? Still living together in the loft? Cats? Kids? LBD?

I say it’s time for South of Nowhere: The College Years. If Saved By the Bell can do it, so can Spashley. And it’ll be way hotter — and I’ll feel less creepy thinking that, because they’re older.

Trish Bendix: Wouldn’t Tila Tequila‘s life would have been so much better had she just chosen Dani? Instead of A Shot at Love 2, it could have been Tila & Dani: Punch Drunk Love, following them around as they moved in together and began to infiltrate each other’s lives. Maybe Dani’s influence could have rubbed off on Tila, who now can’t seem to get another TV show if she tried.

Dorothy Snarker: If I had a bazillion dollars and knew what a producer did, I would produce the long-awaited and unexpected sequel to Imagine Me & You and When Night is Falling. Yes, I said sequel, as in singular. I want to see them — as one movie. Stay with me, people. Just think about it. These are two of the best lesbian films ever made with two of the most beautiful lesbian couplings ever put on film. They both ended happily ever after, so let’s see how lovely riding off into the sunset can be. How are Rachel and Luce doing? Has Flowered Up expanded? How are Camille & Petra? Did Camille develop a circus act?

Just imagine if they became friends – lesbian couple friends. It could happen. Camille and Petra are with a traveling circus. They could travel to England, I mean, the English like quirky avant garde performances. I mean, they love watching the royal family, right? Wouldn’t it be great to see their continuing adventures combines? Wouldn’t it be lovely to see them all share a nice cup of tea or, better yet, cherry brandy. I say, if you’re going to dream about lesbian sequels, dream big. Plus, I’d kill to see Lena Headey on the trapeze.

Your turn: Let’s give Hollywood some ideas. What lesbian storyline should get a part two (or 10)?

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