Last time: Sophie’s pastor walked in on Sophie and Sian snogging in the middle of the dance floor in the middle of her 16th birthday party. The actual debauchery didn’t bother him so much, but the lesbians kissing did. And so he dropped off his present and bounced up out of there.
This time: Sophie and Sian are debating the merits of attending a prayer meeting. Pros: Chatting to loving creator of universe, interceding on behalf of people they love. Cons: Leader of said prayer meeting may be operating under delusion that loving creator of universe does not, in actual fact, listen to girls who kiss other girls. ‘Round and ’round they go, but before they can decide what to do, their pastor comes a-knockin’ and asks to speak to them. Weirdly, he asks if Sophie’s parents are home first. (Probably his ears are still sore from the last time he heard Sally shouting in the next town over.)
I haven’t caught this guy’s name and Sophie keeps calling him “Pastor,” so that’s what I’m going to call him too. Pastor pulls out his Bible and goes with Romans 1:26. (There are six “Clobber Passages” people reach for when they want to try to use the Bible to “prove” that God doesn’t love gay people; this is the only one that specifically refers to women. Not so shocking, actually, on account of the Bible is pretty quiet about women existing altogether. Except as child-bearers.)
So, Romans 1:26 says: “Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones.”
And Sian jumps all over it. She goes, “Shameful?!” And Pastor tells her not to “worry about the language,” which is actually the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. There is an entire scholarly pursuit called Hermeneutics that is ONLY concerned with the language of the Bible. I mean, it’s kind of important. The New Testament was written in ancient Greek and the Old Testament was written in Hebrew, and do you know anyone who speaks either of those languages any more? No, you do not. So if you’re going to use a centuries’ old manuscript to condemn a person’s biology, you’d better worry about it. You’d better make damn sure “the language” is correct in that book you’re quoting.
Sophie’s going to hit on this in the next episode, that the passage Pastor leans on is written by Paul and not Jesus (Jesus didn’t write any books in the Bible; he was too busy, you know, actually loving people), and it’s a really valid point on her part. If you want me to shake down all six of the Clobber Passages for you, I’m happy to do that, but in the meantime, let me just quote Bible scholar Dr. R.S. Truluck:
Paul’s writings have been taken out of context and twisted to punish and oppress every identifiable minority in the world: Jews, children, women, blacks, slaves, politicians, divorced people, convicts, pro-choice people, lesbians, gays, bisexuals, transsexuals, religious reformers, the mentally ill, and the list could go on and on. Paul is often difficult and confusing to understand. A lot of Paul’s writing is very difficult to translate. Since most of his letters were written in response to news from other people, reading Paul can be like listening to one side of a telephone conversation. We know, or think we know, what Paul is saying, but we have to guess what the other side has said.
And he’s right. Most of the New Testament is made up of letters written by Paul to address specific concerns of specific churches. So you’ve got to put each of them in their historic context AND make an educated guess (a GUESS!) about what each church wrote to him about in the first place. In Romans, for example, Pauls’s not worried about consensual same-sex relationships; he’s worried about fertility cults where women shagged each other in public all hopped up on drugs. In the original Greek, that particular version of the word “natural” and “unnatural” (“para physin”) really means “unconventional.” Paul uses the Greek para physin two other times. Once in 1 Corinthians 11:14 when he’s referring to blokes who wear their hair long. And once in Romans 11:24 when Paul is praising God for his unconventional action in bringing the Jews and Gentiles together.
See? Sian’s not just a good kisser; she was right to worry about the language! Because: a) Paul never meant that being a lesbian is “unnatural,” but 2,000 years ago – when much of the New Testament was written – it was unconventional. And b) It’s a moot point because he’s not talking about modern lesbian relationships; he’s talking about fertility cults.
ANYWAY.
Sian’s not so worried about history or Hermanutics. Her rage is barely concealed because what she knows is that she loves God and she loves Sophie and those things are not at odds with one another. She actually pinches her lips at one point to keep from literally biting off Pastor’s head, I think. Like maybe there was almost a zombie situation happening in the Webster’s kitchen. Her three best outbursts include: “Have you heard yourself?” And “I thought we were all equal, but I guess I misunderstood.” And “I don’t think you’re as modern as you think you are. God got it wrong and he’d be the first one to admit it.”
I’m not sure you’re going to earn any points with the conservative crowd by having your lesbian character shout that God has the capacity to be wrong, but Corrie make a lot of good points in these episodes without hammering anyone in the head. Pastor is severely misguided (and written that way), obviously, but he’s really gentle with the girls.
And here comes something else great: Emily Bishop is an grandma-aged lady on the Street and she’s known Sophie since she was a little girl. She’s the only other person on the street who goes to church, and she even spoke at Sophie’s adult baptism. Sophie and Sian rush her at the Corrie Cafe to tell her that Pastor got all up in their nut about how God doesn’t love lesbians, and Emily says she can’t really handle talking about it right now. (I’ve got to pause right here and thank Paula for helping me with all this Corrie backstory; she has been an invaluable teacher!)
Later, Emily chats to two other grandma-aged ladies, including my darling Rita, and says she feels like she blew it with Sophie and Sian. And what happens next is just about the best thing. I mean, look, I know it’s super fun to watch Sophie and Sian be in love, and it’s especially great when Rosie is in on the shenanigans, but these particular women on this show are like trusted friends to people all over the world (The UK, Canada and Australia, for sure), and they have been trusted friends for years and years. (Like it or not, that’s the way TV works. It’s why Jennifer Aniston will always be Rachel Green to you. She was in your living room as Rachel Green every Thursday night for ten years.) And so the conversation they’re about to have is a model for an entire generation that isn’t quite familiar with gay people.
Emily says she feels a bit s–t because she didn’t know what to say to Sophie and Sian, because she’s never had to really think about the gay thing before. She says she and Rita are “the last of the dinosaurs” and that she knows her uncomfortable feelings are out-dated, but that she doesn’t know what to do about them. And precious, precious Rita says the exact correct thing, like always: “You’re one of the kindest people I’ve ever met, and I know for a fact that once you get your head around all this you’ll be able to deal with Sophie and Sian with the utmost wisdom and compassion.”
Do you even understand how bleedin’ special that is? The message, from a very old soap with a very conservative audience, is: gay people should be treated with the utmost wisdom and compassion.
No, I’m not going to stop marveling at the fact that this is on my TV.
At home, Sophie’s dad storms around and shouts and wails and generally acts like an insane person because of how he’s got a secret kid and the secret kid’s namesake just got smashed by a car. Sophie and Sian worry about church some more and Kevin hollers that they should get some real problems like an illegitimate, bastard baby. Sally tells Sophie, “No matter what happens, we’re behind you and Sian 100 percent.”
Sophie and Sian decide to go to choir practice after all, and good thing too because they’re singing Christmas carols! Pastor gets flummoxed, and at first I think he’s just agitated that they’re always coming in late. But nope! He’s agitated because they’re always coming in gay. He tells the choir to take a five minute break so he can handle the lesbians, and then the camera does this totally weird thing where it shows his face from the perspective of Sophie and Sian’s hands? I don’t know. Anyway, they say they’re not ashamed, and he says, “Clearly.”
He tries to explain about “unity of purpose” and Sophie’s like, “If different is so wrong, how come God made so many colors?” He tells her to stop defending herself, basically, and then that girl from the party – the one who was like, “OMG SOPHIE!” when she and Sian kissed – rushes to their defense and says to let them speak. And so Sophie does, and whoo boy, does she ever! Sally would be so proud! Pastor says he knows they think they’re lesbians, and here goes Sophie:
Come again? Whatever we THINK we are? Well I’ll tell you what we ain’t. We’re not an abomination. We’re not some narrow-minded, homophobic bigots … you want us to all be the same. Well, I’m sorry, but we can’t live by YOUR rules. And you know what? You know what’s sad about all this? You talk about God speaking to you? You only hear what you want to hear. You’re the loser in all this, not us.
She grabs Sian’s hand and drags her out of the church, and the look Sian shoots back over her shoulder is priceless. Boom, bitch! it says. Welcome to Truth Bomb for Dinosaurs Day!
