“Glee” Episode 206 Recap: And Kurt’s Still Never Been Kissed

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I’ve seen a lot of comments about how this episode had a

plot, and it did. It had tons of plot. But it also had a theme, and I don’t

mean a musical theme. In fact, musically this episode was kind of forgettable.

Everything in "Never Been Kissed" was about things

being the opposite of what they seem – Coach

Beiste
, who’s hard and tough on the outside, turns out to be soft and

lonely on the inside. Tough guy Puck

is scared and runs away, and Kurt

stands up and fights back against the abusive slushy-tossing football goon, who

turns out to be a serious closet case. And, in case anyone out there missed it,

we had the big thematic anvil of this week’s Glee Club challenge: Boys doing

songs conventionally done by girls, and girls doing classic/hard rock.

Of course, we can’t escape the real theme of this season of Glee, which is hygiene. No, no shower

scene this week (sorry, boys), but Sam

and Finn take side-by-side baths –

Finn in steaming hot water, Sam in a tub of ice. (Theme alert.)

The two bond over the fact that they found the "only

two girls in the school who won’t put out," and share tips on how to

"cool off" when things get too hot. Finn, as we know, uses the tragic

encounter of the hood of his car and a postal carrier, and Sam decides to

visualize Coach Beiste in her underwear.

In the halls of McKinley High, slushy-throwing jock goon is

on a rampage of harassing Kurt, slamming him into lockers whenever he sees him.

Also, the Glee Club’s own bad boy is back from his stint in juvie. That’s

right, the Puck drought is over. Let there be rejoicing across the land, etc.

Mr. Schuester

announces that their competition for sectionals will be an all-boys private

school, Dalton Academy ("Oh wait, hold up,"

says Santana. "Like, a million

awesome gay jokes just popped into my head.") and "The

Hipsters," a group of elderly people going for their GEDs.

Will decides to repeat last year’s "boys against the

girls" challenge, and as the groups split up, without even turning around

to see how they’re organizing themselves, he says, "Kurt. I’m going to say

it again: Boys’ team."

Kurt drags himself over to the Neanderthals, I mean, the

guys, and sits down, misery and isolation written all over his face. It would

be his usual tragic diva routine, except it’s clearly not. We know this because

Chris Colfer is a god with the

acting. He can say more with one little quiver of his lip than the rest of the

cast with an hour of well-written speeches.

Also, Mr. Schue? You suck.