“Coronation Street” recap: Outed like a Teletubbie

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Sally, unsurprisingly, just freaks out. Her face. Actually, I think we should just evaluate everyone’s reactions to the news.

Actually, it’s not news; it’s "news," until Sophie confirms it — which she does not do. Instead she’s like, "Me? Kissing Sian? The most beautiful girl with the most beautiful lips and the gayest button-up shirt collection in all of Weatherfield? Puh-lease."

Claire wants to leave, but Sally — whoo boy, I would not want to get into a fight with Sally — just keeps on screaming. She goes, "It’s childish and petty! Just pluck the worst thing out of the air and throw it at Sophie because you’ve got something to hide!"

Gay Sean taps her on the shoulder, all, "Um, sorry to interrupt, but—" And his friend says, "I can think of a lot worse things to be called." That’s hilarious.

Claire stomps off the train and Sally continues to shriek and shriek and shriek. Like, probably there are banshee trackers out somewhere in the Irish countryside with high-tech sound equipment and stuff, and now they’re headed straight for wherever this wedding is taking place because Sally has totally registered as "Entire Gaggle Of Squealing Spirits" on their Mythology Vector.

Sally’s head looks like it is going to blow off her shoulders. Sophie and Sian look as shifty as shifty can be. And somewhere Rosie is just sipping champagne and humming some the Teletubbies theme song.

Tomorrow: The most poignant, moving wedding you’ve ever seen. And Sophie goes full-on Gryffindor.

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