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“Thintervention” recap 1.8: Finally fierce

We did it! We made it to the end of the season! I think we all deserve a big pat on the back and a gift certificate to Old Country Buffet.

It’s been six weeks that the contestants have been at home with only themselves to keep each other motivated. I’m very interested to see how they’ve done — especially since over half of them couldn’t control themselves even under Jackie’s watchful six pack. On with the show!

Jackie and Craig arrive at the hotel for the final weigh-in and now everyone’s family and friends are gathered to see the final results. I have to make note (though I know some of you won’t like this), Jackie looks pretty damn good in her feminine little black number. I’m a fan.

Mandy is coming out first — but we’re going to check out her montage! By the time Jackie told that little birdie to spread her wings, Mandy only had eight more pounds to lose to accomplish her goals. Not only did she set out to achieve these goals, she also decided to take classes in order to get her trainer’s certification and has been helping her husband lose 23 pounds while practicing some odd mating rituals.

Her husband was so proud of her — he bought her a brand new car and took her out for sashimi. How do I get on this reward plan?

When she walks out to the weigh-in and she is a total babe. She looks a little tired, but she also looks really fierce.

Next up is Jeana. Jackie explains that Jeana didn’t know how to stick up for herself at the beginning of this program but hopefully changed after going home. Montage! It looks like Jeana has made some progress and started to take this losing-weight thing seriously. She bought herself some skinny jeans (which I still haven’t brought myself to do) and is now going to the gym with her son instead of lying in bed all day. We learn that Jeana is being more assertive, and it’s helping her relationship with her children — which was more necessary than the next drink I’m going to pour myself.

Bring that healthy body out here Jeana! She is looking good (there may be a little Botox thrown in for good measure)! So far, I’m jealous of both her and Mandy’s legs — they are of the Tina Turner caliber. You can tell she feels fantastic. Even her “personal chef” is in the crowd and is very proud of her.

It’s Shay’s turn, and Jackie tells everyone what a bitchy deev she was during the first few weeks of training. She also says that Shay had been holding in a secret that she didn’t reveal to Jackie until three weeks ago. What could it be? Her mom looks worried, same as her sister, not so much the man in the back.

When it’s time to find out Shay’s secret, we see her eating chips and ice cream and binging. She knows she has the right tools but she isn’t using them. She says it’s time to tell Jackie why things aren’t working for her. Apparently Shay has been going through fits of starving herself and then eating and taking laxatives. She’s been doing this since the age of twelve. That’s a really good way of screwing up your metabolism — so it makes sense that she wasn’t losing as much weight as she should have been.

Being open and honest about her problem is the first step in fixing it. As Jackie says, “You’re at the strongest point in your life right now.”

In the final three weeks, Shay got her motivation back and then some. She found a dance class at her gym and her inner running-woman came out. She then went to a strip club to watch men shake their butts (not sure where that came from).

When she walks out, you can tell she’s lost a substantial amount of weight and she’s feeling like a sex kitten.

Joe is up next and his mother nods along in agreement when Jackie explains how difficult and obnoxious he can be. She also explained that he has changed and become a better man. His montage self would agree with that statement — he says he’s been much more aware of acknowledging other people’s feelings. He has also gotten in touch with his inner-cheeseburger and can allow himself one every now and then as long as he also adds a little more exercise into his plans. Joe has also found a hot woman who will go on a date with him.

When he comes out, he actually looks a little too skinny in my opinion. Nice job, Joe.

Jackie has decided her most challenging client will be up next — Nikki, of course darlings. She says Nikki has been difficult and doesn’t take direction well — Nikki’s gays in the audience seem to agree.

In the Nikki montage (the one I’ve been the most excited to see), she says there are only two ways to do this program and that’s to do it to a T or do it to fit her lifestyle. I’m guessing she went with the latter — which I think is the most realistic option.

She was able to get support from her gays and instead of drinking they started hiking. She also called upon Bryan for support, which I think is incredibly cute.

When she enters the room, she is gorgeous! Aw, I’m really happy for her. You can tell that she feels sexy.

Stacy is next and Jackie talks about her PCOS and hard go of it through life. Time for Stacy’s montage.

It looks like Stacy did a great job of going to the gym and sticking with the program. Also, she got a different hairstyle. Turns out, Stacy and Mandy have used each other as a support system, which is also pretty cute.

When she comes out — she looks happy and you can definitely see some weight loss. As is to be expected, Craig cries.

Last up is Bryan and Jackie explains that he had the most work out of everyone and worked himself so hard. MONTAGE!

We see that his co-workers tempt and taunt him with delicious foods. He resists them when he needs to and allows himself a taste when he wants it. He’s working out hard and at some point he is able to fit into Hot Partner Miguel’s button-down shirts. Hooray inner warrior Edith!

When Bryan comes out, the look on Miguel’s face is so cute, you can see how proud he is. Bryan looks fantastic, he’s gorgeous and I think he has highlights. Jackie tells him that he is the wind beneath her wings. Craig cries some more, Jackie cries, let’s all hug it out.

We find that everyone’s confidence has grown, especially Jeana’s — who is now going to use her new body to take care of business in other ways besides eating. Her children in the audience and everyone else at home cringed the cringe of a thousand cringes.

Time to get weighed in for the last time everybody!

Wait! Before the weigh-in, everyone has a gift for Jackie. Brian explains to everyone that Jackie doesn’t wear underwear while she’s training her participants so they all chipped in to cover her vagine. I’m sorry, but seriously? Maybe that’s why Joe thought it would be OK to tell her to turn around and show him her stuff with clothes on. Oy!

Jackie tells Mandy to get on up on that scale and she lost a total of 34 pounds — four pounds more than her goal of 30 pounds.

Jeana goes next and she weighs 153, a total of 21 pounds gone. While she didn’t meet her goal, she came close and her daughter says she’s acting “like she’s hot,” which she is.

Joe lost a total of 42 pounds and weighed-in at 188. He exceeded his goal by two pounds. He says he thinks he’s ready to find his soulmate now.

Shay goes next and lost a total of 34 pounds. Seriously, she looks amazing. She also lost 24 percent of her body fat, which makes her have less body fat than I do. Jackie, call me!

Stacy came to Jackie wanting to lose 50 pounds; she ended up losing 40 instead which is incredible considering her PCOS. As Jackie says, “You willed yourself to lose more weight.”

Nikki is about to weigh in and she too had wanted to lose 50 pounds. She ended up losing 41, which is still fantastic.

Bryan is the last to weigh in and his original goal was to lose 60 pounds. In order to reach that goal, he needs to weigh 206. In the end, he weighed 198 — so he lost a total of 68 pounds. He also lost 49 perecent of his body fat. Incredible.

In summation, everyone looks fantastic — Jackie sends them off like butterflies from her cocoon. Everyone has kept up their weight loss and this is generally just one big happy ending, folks. I’m really happy for all of them, and I’m most happy to hear that Nikki can still have a mimosa with brunch. Thanks for sticking with me for the recaps everybody; I’ll catch you in the blogosphere.

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