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Great LezBritain: “Lip Service” Recap – Episode Two

“Great LezBritian” is a fortnightly stroll through the very best of British lesbo-centric entertainment and culture. Plus there will be some jolly good interviews with the top ladies who are waving the flag for gay UK.

So here we are again ladies, all 600,000 of us it seems. The opening titles are different; they’ve been sexed up with a lip nibble and some thigh rubbing.

Lee: Do you think they’ll change them every week?

Sarah: I’ve got no idea.

Lee: If you had to say or die.

Sarah: No.

The episode opens with dawn breaking and orgasmic groans from Lou Foster writhing in bed. Tess is under the sheets doing something rather satisfying to her.

Lou looks really good at first light. She still has a face full of perfect make-up, while Tess looks a bit dishevelled with mascara snot in her eyes. We soon realise this is because Lou Foster is a “receiver” and when Tess tries to guide her hands under the duvet, Lou looks at her watch and makes out she’s in a bit of a rush to get to the studio. Poor Tess has just realised that the New Radicals were full of s–t and you don’t necessarily get what you give.

There is a naked Roxanne McKee bottom shot as she gets up for a shower. We have nothing else to say about this — it speaks for itself. They have a brief discussion about the lame activities an out of work actress like Tess can do to fill her day. Tess then has a brainwave about becoming a runner for “In the Afternoon with Lou & Tom.” Lou is clearly not overly keen on this idea, but perhaps because Tess is so adorable, she agrees to put a word in, with a caveat:

Lou: Tess, you wouldn’t be able to tell anyone about us.

Tess: God no, I completely understand. I would say we were just friends or something.

Tess is such a brilliant secret girlfriend. As Lou heads into the shower, Tess pleasures herself with a handy battery operated device.

Sarah: What a rubbish state of affairs — pleasuring yourself straight after sex with your girlfriend.

Lee: I’m worried for Tess. First Chloe, now Lou. She deserves better.

Frankie is dressing for Dead Aunt Carol’s funeral. She stares at herself in the mirror and realises that if she wears Shane’s wedding suit to the funeral, those pesky comparisons won’t go away. Thankfully, she rips it off.

Cat is also getting ready to go to the funeral but not before she has a little anal-retentive episode over Tess’ “dirty socks under the kitchen table.” Suspecting this is displacement for Cat being uptight about Dead Aunt Carol’s funeral, Tess asks if she’s sure she wants to go. Cat wants to be grown up about it and be there for Frankie. Tess becomes giggly, telling Cat about her night with Lou but Cat kills her excitement with a stony-faced barb.

Cat: Has she gone down on you yet?

Tess: Well it is her first time with a woman…

Lee & Sarah: Well then, she should be well up for it.

Cat: She’s the pillow princess and you’re putting in all the elbow grease.

Tess tries again to justify Princess Lou’s ways by telling Cat that she’s trying to get her a job on her show. This might be a slight misinterpretation of the event. Cat tells her the best way to widen the closet door is to do something low-key and invite Lou to dinner at the flat with her and Ed. Oh Poor Ed — his little Tess-loving heart is just going to love that.

Frankie approaches Cat on a street corner and takes some pictures of her without her noticing. She is clearly delighted to see Cat. The only way she can stop herself from grinning from ear to ear is by sticking out her tongue. She’s changed from Shane’s wedding suit into her normal leather jacket and jeans ensemble.

Cat is clearly ruffled that Frankie is very late, and obviously doesn’t feel entirely comfortable with her. They walk with speed while two amused men walk behind them, maybe not realising they will forever be part of the UK’s first lesbian drama series Episode 2, Scene 4.

Frankie tries the old charm offensive.

Frankie: Nice outfit.

Cat: I just drag it out the cupboard for funerals and interviews. I see you dressed for the occasion.

Frankie: Well, I was going to wear the twin set and pearls but thought better of it.

Cat finally whips out a smile. Frankie has momentarily got her friend back.

Tess is waiting in the foyer of the “In the Afternoon with Lou & Tom” studio, looking at gigantic posters of Lou and her co-presenter. She asks a completely expressionless extra where she can find the production manager.

The production manager is a Glaswegian lad blaring out a lot of obscenities over the phone. Tess’ luck is in though, because she’s told there’s space for a runner. She’s put to work immediately, wearing an “In the Afternoon with Lou & Tom” t-shirt. An absolute cherry on the top of what looks like it will be an inspiring job. By inspiring, we mean, s–t.

Frankie walks up to the funeral service. Everyone looks at her as if she’s a stripper at a children’s birthday party. As a box of dirt is handed ’round for mourners to throw some clumps onto Dead Aunt Carol’s coffin, Frankie demands a turn, to pay her final respects, but Uncle Fester doesn’t let Cousin It pass it to her. Well, we say bugger you again, Karen — you don’t always have to do what daddy says.

But Frankie is resourceful. She realises she doesn’t need their dirt because she is in a graveyard and funnily enough, there is plenty of it on the ground. So she picks her own and throws it onto the coffin. Her hardened face loosens as her pain consumes her.

The wake, I think we can say, is not held in the most lavish of venues. Frankie looks at the photographs of Dead Aunt Carol and notices that she has been cut out. Cousin It approaches Cat and Frankie. Here we see the difference between appropriate behaviour at a funeral and behaviour that would be deemed entirely “not suitable.” Cat hugs the Cousin, consoles and says lovely things about the deceased. Frankie stands aloof, is aggressive and looks at her Cousin like they are kids about to spar in the playground.

Cousin It tells Missus Grumpy Face that the lack of Frankie photos is because Dead Aunt Carol sent Frankie’s photo album to a mystery recipient before she died.

Sarah: I don’t trust that Uncle Fester and Cousin It know nothing more about these photos.

Lee: My eye, they don’t know more.

Tess has started her runner duties by delivering coffee to Lou’s dressing room. Lou has rollers in her hair and is a little too close to smooth operator Tom, who’s sitting on a chair, metaphorically swinging his dick — what a pr–k.

Lou introduces Tess as an old school friend and before enquiring minds can wonder about Lou at school, Tom is sent on his way by a slightly panicked Lou. Tom leaves with a, “See you later alligator,” a finger-point and a mouth click, just to confirm that he most definitely is a pr–k. Lou says he’s sweet but looks like a potato. We’d say less spud and more block of cheese.

Tess goes for a little slap and tickle, but Lou freaks out and tells her to stop being so foolhardy.

Lou: Tess what are you doing? If someone came in here, it would be all over the studio in two minutes.

Tess: I’m sorry. I won’t do it again.

Tess has guilt etched all over her face and leaves Lou and her strange rollered hair.

Back at the wake, Frankie is being more inappropriate than usual, swigging from a bottle and sliding a whole box of Ferrero Rocher into her bag.

Okay, so we’ve all done it, but save it for a birthday or a wedding, not at a wake. Oh my goodness, Frankie takes it even further by overtly feeling Cat up. Cat shouts, “Stop,” and Uncle Fester chucks Frankie out. This is not a peaceful wake.

Uncle Fester: [about Dead Aunt Carol] She didn’t love you, not like her own kid. Even as a little girl, it was obvious you were damaged goods.

Frankie: F–k you.

Sarah: That “f–k you” was like an actual rip through the heart.

Lee: Yes, and though Uncle Fester is entirely unpleasant, Frankie couldn’t carry on like that.

Sarah: It was only a matter of time before she cupped the Vicar’s balls.

We now have a metaphor for who has all the power in the relationship, as Tess struggles up a flight of stairs with a gigantic picture of Lou while being asked to sort out a most confusing coffee order.

Lee: I can’t stand all of those stupid names for coffees. When I go to Starbucks and they ask me if I want a “Grande,” and all of this other stuff like cinnamon and soya, I just stare at them and say “Just a medium,” over and over.

Sarah: If more people stood up for what they believe in, like you do Lee, this country would be flying high.

Because ordering a coffee is now like an exam in neuroscience, and also partly because she wasn’t really listening, Tess can’t remember what to order and decides to seek out Bob the cameraman, who was one of the coffee requesters. But because Tess is a bit prone to calamity, it goes terribly wrong when she gets in the way of a multi-tiered wedding cake and ends up lying on the floor with butter icing on her face.

It’s a disaster but Lou gives her an oh-my-goodness-secret-lover-you-are-adorable face across the room. A very small silver lining for Tess.

Frankie is outside smoking and Cat joins her to ask if she is okay. Frankie knows there’s more to the tale of missing photos than Cousin It and Uncle Fester are letting on. Cat offers to help because she can see Frankie’s pain and is holding on to the remnants of the love and friendship that was once there.

Frankie: what makes you think you are qualified to help anyone?

Well we wonder at this point why Cat would even speak to Frankie anymore. And so does Cat.

Cat: Do you know how much I missed you? Now I’m wondering why I bothered.

Lou finds Tess after the show and gives her a hug, but not before locking the door to ensure there is no chance of peering eyes. She invites Tess over for “make-up” time and Tess suggests dinner with her, Cat and Ed. Lou agrees but her face doesn’t look completely signed up to the idea. Tess — not the most observant of people — is delighted. Her little face lights up like a Christmas tree.

In a most comical scene, Cat gets her mobile nabbed by a law-breaking youth. Instead of calling the police or crying, she chases her assailant and tries to grab the phone back, only to end up hauled into the local nick for assault.

Guess who is on hand to spot her being brought in? Yes, every one of you has called it correctly, if your answer was DS Murray, that is.

DS Murray takes over Cat’s questioning, and with sleeves rolled as high as they could ever possibly go…

DS: They didn’t rough you up did they? You know what police can be like [smiles, knowing that this is a funny turn of events]

Cat: So I see you’ve come in here to gloat? It’s not enough that some little s–t steals from me but now you are going to have a laugh at my expense?

DS: Actually, I thought you might need my help, but if you want me to go…

Cat: Well, you do have a habit of walking out on people.

DS: Only when you imply that I’m some sort of thug.

With a very manic voice, Cat explains what a torrid day she had before the date in Awkward Town. DS Murray is very smiley and comforts Cat over her latest mishap, whilst wearing a very gay waistcoat. Cat thanks her and tells her it’s okay not to fancy someone — oh up missus.

DS: I didn’t say I didn’t fancy you. What about another date?

Preparation for Lou Foster is in full swing. Ed’s face is tripping him from all of Tess’ extra efforts for this lady that she isn’t allowed to call her girlfriend. Cat silently freaks out about the mess.

Frankie and Jay are sitting on the floor together in front of a sofa, which to some, may be a strange choice of where to sit. They drink and smoke, but all is not merry as Frankie explains that her family and Cat hate her.

Jay has brought two-year anniversary presents for Becky comprising of underwear and what is supposed to be an expensive necklace, but we suspect it was purchased down at Barras Market, as the budget is a bit tight on this show, and it isn’t very pretty. Jay reels off why Becky is The One and that he can’t be bed hopping forever. Frankie looks like, “Oh bugger, neither can I,” but says nothing. Cat, the human duster-buster, has tidied and put the finishing touches to Lou Foster’s coming-over but not coming-out meal.

Amidst the sibling banter between Cat and Ed, Ed says “he hasn’t even pleasured himself today.” Oh Edward, potty mouth.

Tess comes out – not in the best outfit we’ve ever seen her in – but after seeing her, Ed’s face suggests he could leave the room to pleasure himself. But not in a creepy way. The phone goes and Lou is not coming because she’s tired. Tess wells up and makes excuses for her but Cat points out the wrong in blaming yourself; that is what she used to do with Frankie.

Sarah: Tess needs a cuddle, not a rant.

Lee: I knew she wasn’t coming, I didn’t say anything but I knew.

Sarah: To be honest, I don’t think anyone is going to be surprised by her no-show.

Lee: Yes but I knew!

Frankie is in a very lesbionic bed getup consisting of a vest, shorts and some socks. She phones Cousin It to ask for details about the family’s lawyer dealing with Dead Aunt Carol’s will.

Cat is tense about whether DS Murray is going to ring, just as Tess is sorting out her dirty clothes into the washing machine. Oh if these two factors should collide.

Cat: Where’s my mobile?

Washing machine: [strange clunk]

Next day, with rollers in her hair again, Lou Foster apologies in a half-hearted way about the night before, explaining she was tired as Tess brings her towels.

But then, Tom-the-Pr–k walks in to reveal that he’s surprised to see Lou in one piece after the drunken antics of last night. Tess leaves the room with another blow to her heart and probably feeling even worse than she did last night.

Cat finds DS Murray’s number online and borrows Jay’s phone to call while he leers over the intern.

Frankie sees the inheritance lawyer and asks where the photo album of her was sent. Unfortunately, Dead Aunt Carol has ordered the lawyer to be tight lipped. So, Frankie is rude to the lawyer for just doing her job, and storms off to find another way of getting the information she feels she needs.

Cat is practicing what to say to DS Murray in the toiler mirror when Jay opens thedoor, despairingly.

He comes into the ladies’, snatches the phone from her, and dials DS Murray’s number. There’s no going back and Cat starts to talk to her newly reacquainted lady friend.

Outside the lawyer’s office, Frankie approaches a man that she previously spotted doing some handy-man jobs inside. She suggests to him that she would be extremely grateful in an “I will s–k you off” way, if he could help her find out the name and address where her photos were sent.

Tess is told to go pick up the show’s latest celebrity guest from the airport. After the cake incident and the lack of caffeine in his veins, the producer is stressed out and threatens to sack Tess if she messes this up.

At the airport, the pressure is on and Tess looks disorientated. This doesn’t bode well for Tess’ running career.

Frankie is alone in a cafe waiting for her Mr. Fix-It. She tries to while away the time by phoning Cat but is greeted by her answer phone.

Lee: They do a lovely tuna melt in that café.

Sarah: I don’t think anyone else knows about this tuna melt. as only Frankie seems to be in it.

Lee: The service is slow. It probably puts people off.

When Fix-It arrives, he proves to deserve the name we’ve given him because he has indeed managed to steal the address that Frankie needs, right out from under the lawyer’s nose. Let’s not discuss the improbability of this and, instead, focus on the fact that Frankie’s baby photos were sent to an Annie Cawthorne, who lives in a nasty estate in the south of Glasgow.

Fix-It asks why she needs the details and she tells him the generic “boring family stuff.” But obviously, Fix-It wants to know more — post-coitally. Frankie blows him off (metaphorically); not at all bothered that she’s led him on.

Fix-It: Bitch.

Frankie: Tell me something I don’t know.

Sarah: Okay. You might want to work on that Frankie love.

Lee: And Fix-It should learn to get “paid” before revealing the stolen information next time.

Sarah: Classic schoolboy error.

At work, Cat is over-thinking her date with DS Murray and venting it to cool-as-a-cucumber Jay. He delivers some super advice on what questions to ask the “hot Cop.”

Jay: What’s the most interesting thing she’s ever done with her truncheon?

We laughed a lot at this suggestion, but Cat is clearly not as childish as Jay or us, and is not amused, so he tries to help again.

Jay: Ask her what is the capital of Australia? [Cat walks off]

It’s interesting – most people think it’s Sydney, but it’s not.

Tess has arrived at Glasgow international Airport and is feebly holding a sign for Marie Chambers. She hones in on a woman half-falling off her seat and asks a couple of times if she’s Marie.

Marie: Yes, I heard you the first time. I’m not bloody deaf.

Sarah: Marie is Magda from [the British TV show] Lead Balloon.

Lee: Oh good times.

Clearly drunk out of her box, Marie, a.k.a. Magda from Lead Balloon, stumbles out of her chair and walks out with an overwhelmed Tess.

In a rather rough and ready area of Glasgow, Frankie finds the address Fix-It gave her. She knocks on the door. No answer. She shouts “Hello!” No response. She tries the door; it’s open.

Frankie sees old letters on the floor addressed to Miss Cawthorne: a sure sign that she’s at the right house. Like Tess last week, Frankie is now a burglar, entering the bare house and rifling through a lone bag. She plucks out some keys with the letters ‘FG’ on the key ring.

Whilst law-breaking, she’s interrupted by a boy entering the room. He legs it when Frankie spots him, and even though she chases him through the estate, he’s clearly in training for the Glasgow Commonwealth Games in 2014 and far too speedy for a girl like Frankie, who appears to smoke about 60 a day.

Frankie: Wait, I just want to talk to you!

That’s not enough to bring him back and she looks at the key ring she’s just nabbed. Ooh another piece of the “Who the eff is Annie Cawthorne?” puzzle. Oh dear.

Marie/Magda is in a taxi, looking even more wasted than before. Tess calls the studio to inform them that she has a drunken on her hands, but the producer cuts her off because Marie is due on air in 20 minutes time.

Frankie tries to call Cat again but because her mobile is now on a fast washing-spin, it goes straight to voicemail again.

Marie arrives at the studio but collapses in her dressing room, dribbling. Tess’ fellow runner tells her that the only solution is for her to go on air, pretending to be the award-winning child psychologist, Marie Chambers instead. We’re not sure if this actually is the most practical way to solve a problem like a drunken Maria.

Ten, nine, eight… and cue Tess lining up for her big chat show debut. For some reason, she’s donned Marie’s cardigan, as if this is going to disguise the fact that her face looks very different or that she has no child psychology information in her head. Three, two, one… Lou and Tom introduce Dr. Marie Chambers.

Tess: [whispering to a freaked out Lou and Tom] Don’t worry I’ll get you through this.

Oh dear. They go straight to a phone-in.

Lynne from Balmeddie: My little boy is 4-months-old but cries continuously through the night. I was wondering what you would suggest. We are getting desperate.

Tess: I’d imagine that if someone kept me up all night, I’d be pretty desperate too, unless they were hot obviously.

Sarah & Lee: I don’t think Tess is going to pull this off.

Tess: I would suggest reading to him. Has he heard Watership Down?

Lynne: He’s four months old.

Tess: Yes, well, advanced literature can be extremely stimulating. It’s like people in comas; they don’t seem like they’re listening, but they are.

Tom and Lou have never had anything like this on their show before.

The production manager looks very angered. The second caller is put on and Tess’ solution for a problem 7-year-old is that some kids are just brats, so perhaps boarding school or a scary nanny?

This ship has really sunk now and Tess is harshly sacked by the infuriated production manager.

Frankie meets Jay outside his flat. He looks very dapper because he’s meeting Becky for their two-year anniversary dinner. Frankie asks for Cat’s new address, so Jay gives it, but tells her that Cat’s off with the DS, so tonight wouldn’t be the ideal night to go and interrupt their budding romance. Frankie’s face suggests this news made her chest a bit sore. And as we all know by now, Frankie is a huge boundary crosser — she may well not follow Jay’s advice.

Tess is getting her bag and coat and leaving behind her “Afternoons with Lou & Tom” t-shirt, when Lou walks in to tell her she’s sorry how things panned out with her runner job.

Tess: Sod it, I don’t care about this stupid job. It was never going anywhere. What I am upset about is you lying to me.

Lou: Hang on a second, I was tired but…

Tess: But you thought you’d blow me out anyway and make me look like a fool in front of all my friends?

Lee: Ed and Cat are all her friends?

Sarah: Bugger, that’s a shame to have only two friends.

Tess: What it comes down to is you being a complete coward.

Lou: [crying like a coward] You’re right. I am a coward. I was going to come. I got ready, then I just bottled it. I felt terrible and that’s why I went for a drink. But if you are fed up with me, I would understand.

Tess says it’s okay because Lou has reeled her back in with a pinch of manipulation. They admit to really liking each other and have a very passionate kiss. When someone comes rat-tat-tatting at the door, Lou takes Tess home.

Lee: I do actually believe that Lou likes Tess, but she’s far from ready to come out, so Tess will always have to be the secret girlfriend.

Sarah: Lou’s philosophy is muff-diving at home leads to nose-diving at work.

Frankie stares up at Cat’s window like an unhinged Romeo and selfishly decides to go and see her, despite knowing that Cat has a date.

Cat looks surprised to see her but lets her in, explaining that the lack of phone activity is because Tess washed her mobile phone. An ice-breaker, but Cat is clearly bemused as to why Frankie is there. Frankie senses this and asks her about Annie Cawthorne. Cat has never heard of Annie, so Frankie asks her if she wants to go for a drink. Cat refuses.

Frankie: You’re not seriously interested in a cop are you?

Cat: So you know I am going on a date, do you? But you thought you’d turn up anyway?

Frankie: Yeah, well like I said, I needed to ask you something.

Cat: I can’t believe you. If only you were this interested when you had my full attention.

Frankie gets up to leave, realising this is a no-go, but Cat wants to have it out and asks why Frankie persuaded her to leave her girlfriend, only to then leave her. Frankie gives the frankly pitiful excuse that Cat’s relationship was never going to last, so it’s all okay.

Cat’s anger levels are high and she spits out that Frankie is a f–k up, mentioning the Little Miss Helpful episode. She tells Frankie that she’s now looking for an honest bit of Cop-action. Frankie has really hit Cat’s brick wall and leaves.

Cat meets DS Murray and they sip beers straight from the bottle, like lesbians do, as they sit on cool hanging wicker seats. They discuss Cat’s career choice but the girlfriend can’t help meander nervously through random topics and admits to being rubbish at flirting.

DS Murray asks her if she’s okay. They both admit to having a bit of the old butterfly tummy. This bout of honesty does them very well and DS Murray blushes when Cat tells her she has a great smile.

Cat explains she is over the ex and ready for new pastures with someone well adjusted. The chemistry between these two is a delicious little explosion of alchemy on screen.

DS Murray: [seductively whispery tomes] Actually, I am really glad we are giving this another go.

Cat: That is such a relief because I am bursting for the loo and I was really worried you weren’t going to be here when I got back.

DS: I’m not going anywhere. [lip nibbles]

Lee: Oh I love these two together.

Sarah: At this very moment, I’ve got no idea why anyone would root for Frankie to win Cat back.

While Cat is having excellent verbal foreplay with DS Murray, Frankie is acting like a loser trying to pick up randoms on street corners. Once again, the classic distraction technique is in full throttle.

She enters a bookshop and eyes a woman chewing gum and stealing books. Their eyes meet and though the book thief walks off, Frankie’s flame of intrigue has been lit.

There is some delightful bed activity between the scantily dressed Tess and Lou Foster. Princess Lou seems to have finally signed herself right up to being in the Sapphic state because she’s doing some very lesbian things to Tess, which Tess clearly welcomes.

Frankie is obviously some sort of bloodhound because she is able to follow the mystery woman’s scent, and find her in a cafe, reading one of the stolen books. She takes a seat at her table, spreading her body to loudly announce her arrival.

Frankie: Any good?

Book Thief: Nah, Horoscopes are bollocks but I like them because I’m a Scorpio. Apparently, I’m mysterious and sexy. If I was Virgo, I’d probably hate me. What are you?

Frankie: Virgo.

Book Thief speaks and acts like the Artful Dodgeress. We like her immediately. She admits to stealing stuff all the time but is ethical in her choice of nicking ground.

Frankie: Sort of like a modern day Robin Hood?

Book Thief: Ooh I like that. Next time I get nicked, that’s what I am going to tell them.

Frankie: So is there a Maid Marian?

Book Thief: What makes you think I don’t f–k my merry men?

The Book Thief’s name is Sadie. She goes back to Jay’s flat with Frankie, admits she’s an estate agent and they quickly decide to “f–k”.

Lee: If our estate agent had a bit more of the Sadie about her, I wouldn’t loathe her so much.

Sarah: I’ve liked Frankie’s since she’s been trying to seduce Sadie — more fun, less harsh.

DS Murray is in attendance back at Cat’s flat and takes on a beer.

Sarah: Of course she does, why not go a little crazy and ask for a Pina Colada?

Lee: Because that would be man gay, not lady gay.

Standing in the kitchen, these two are flirting to a fairly high level and there is something very nervously romantic about it — quite in contrast to the no mucking about, straight-to-the-bedroom antics of Frankie and Sadie.

Next, the BBC gives us the second-ever terrestrial television lesbian strap-on scene, which is slightly more hardcore than the Tipping the Velvet one. The tabloid newspapers will definitely have ammunition to invent new “complaints” to write about.

Lee and Sarah: [eyes wide, hands over mouths]

Lee: Oh my days, this isn’t holding back any.

Sarah: I am not in the least bit surprised that Frankie is looking at herself in the mirror, rather than the girl she has bent over.

Lee: She is basically having sex with herself.

Becky and Jay are eyes wide awake due to the racket from Frankie, Sadie and their rubber friend. Jay decides to try his luck for a bit of how’s your father, but Becky is not having it. She has an early start and that sort of spontaneity will make her not entirely fresh for her morning’s work of caring for sick people.

Lee: I like that the lesbians are having fun sexual times and the straight couple are having a drought.

Sarah: Yes, often lesbians are shown fumbling about but this does wonders for the cause.

Lee: It’s like the opposite of The Kids Are Alright.

Sarah: I told you never to mention that to me again.

DS Murray steps towards Cat and begins kissing her, pressed up against the fridge. Again in antithesis to the Frankie/Sadie “wham, bam, thank you, ma’am,” they are then seen in a tender moment, naked and making sweet music with far more gentleness than most first-times muster.

Pink sky in the morning and Frankie has finished with Sadie. With no ounce of emotion, she offers to order her a cab. Sadie asks to stay and Frankie turns her back. When she awakes again, she is alone in the bed, hearing Becky and Jay talk about Becky’s lost anniversary necklace.

Frankie’s first thought is to check her purse. She is angry to discover that her money has also been nicked by the sticky-fingered Sadie.

Cat and DS Murray wake up together, spooning. DS Murray comments on Cat’s shoulder tattoo.

 

Cat: It wasn’t my idea.

DS Murray: Whose was it?

Cat: No one important.

Lee & Sarah: Look’s like Catherine has finally moved on. [smiling faces]

Cat smiles and they start to get sexual under the sheets. We leave the room.

Episode 2. Done. What did you think, lesbians?

We are organising the Lip Service Finale party in Glasgow on 16th November and we are most delighted to announce that DS Murray aka the hot cop aka Heather Peace will be performing a short acoustic set. The guestlist is tight but to have a chance of getting yourself on it, and to find out more, follow greatlezbritain on Twitter.

If you don’t want to leave your date with Heather Peace up to chance, then you can also buy tickets for “An Evening With Heather Peace” on the 17th November at Sloan’s Bar in Glasgow. She will be joined by a special guest and will do an audience Q&A as part of the set. Tickets are available now by clicking here.

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