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“True Blood” mini-cap 3.12 “Evil is Going On”

I can’t help it – I’m disappointed with the mess Alan Ball left us with at the end of Season 3. There are so many questions unanswered, and so much action put on hold until next summer. I’m OK with cliffhangers, but this was lacking a certain intensity had by the previous episodes. Not only has it been the goriest and bloodiest season yet, but it’s also been the most supernatural, introducing all kinds of other beings in existence in Bon Temps. This could have wowed us and left us wanting more. But instead, we’re just left wanting.

So what happened on the finale?

Eric and Russell are still outside, roasting in the sun. Russell says he had to kill Eric’s father – he needed the goats.

Godric appears, asking Eric to forgive Russell. He tells Eric that Russell will find peace in death, even though he’s a total a-hole, so Eric might as well let him live.

Sookie wakes up and realizes Bill is standing over her. She slaps him for betraying her and demands to know where Eric is. When Pam tells her he’s out in the sun, chained by silver to the former king of Mississippi, Sookie ignores Bill’s pleas and heads outside to save him. She doesn’t know how to release the silver cuffs, but Russell gives her an idea: “Use your gift.” She is able to harness her anger at him to spark off the silver. Russell screams, “Now drag me the f–k inside!” Before dragging only Eric toward the door, she uses her power to blast Russell further off into the parking lot. “You watch your f—ing language!”

Eric needs human blood but Pam says he’s too weak to draw a fang. Sookie insists that Bill bites her. She winces at the pain but bends down to put her wrist in Eric’s mouth. “Keep an eye on him,” she instructs Bill. “We both know he could lose control.”

Eric manages to not lose control, thankfully, and he asks that Sookie bring Russell in. “Eric, do the world a favor and let that little f–k fry,” Pam says. Eric says he’ll go out there himself before having a “Whose fang is bigger?” fight with Bill. “Oh for the love of God,” Sookie says, going outside to drag Russell in by a chain. He is burnt to an ashy crisp.

Eric ties him to the stripper pole while he tries his best to be threatening, but his fang falls out. He tells Sookie he will only think about finding her for the rest of his life, which doesn’t make it any easier when Eric says the vamps must go to ground and the human/fairy hybrid has to keep watch. “Do not stake him!” he tells her.

It’s the morning after at Sam’s, and Tara is watching Nan Flanagan take on the Fellowship of the Sun on the TV. She is more impressed by Sam making her breakfast, but he can’t believe he hasn’t made it for her before, then remembers it’s because she’d leave before morning. “That’s cuz you always woke me up, barking in your sleep!”

Sam gives her some pancakes cooked in bacon grease and then drops the bomb. “I’m a shapeshifter.” Tara is so over all the supernatural beings in her life and tells him to shut the F up but Sam says he will not shut the F up. “It’s who I am.”

Tara is pissed Sam didn’t tell her before they slept together. “Too many bad things have happened to me because of supernatural stuff!” she says, but Sam knows better. “And humans.” Tara gets really overdramatic (surprise) and says she wants to “reboot” with a whole new life. Sam says it’s easy. “You’ve just got to keep on moving.”

Jason shows up to the police station where the DEA is in town to raid Hot Shot. Andy takes him into his office, saying Jason cannot go tip the town off. “So we just let ’em sell drugs?” Andy asks. “If we stop them, somebody else is just going to start up, right?” “You just rationalized away all need for law enforcement!” Andy says, baffled. “I don’t know what that means exactly, but you gotta stop those government people out there – please!”

Jason’s storyline has bored me this season, but I always love his crazy rationale.

When Hoyt arrives at work, he finds his mom, Summer and his high school guidance counselor waiting for him in lawn chairs. “I got work to do,” Hoyt says. He’s not trying to be part of this intervention. His mom can’t help but notice he’s been bitten by Jessica.

Summer reads Hoyt a letter about how she’s liked him ever since he was her safety patrol streetcrosser that said “Hey” to her. Mrs. Fortenberry reads her own, which refers to Jessica as a “red-headed dead girl.” She threatens to disinherit Hoyt. “You don’t have any money anyways!” When the guidance counselor tries to stop the ensuing argument, Hoyt says “You just shut up – you’re not a real therapist. Everybody knows you have a bottle of Malibu rum in your desk, so shut up!” He tells Summer he wants her to find the best husband in the whole world – but it ain’t him. Hoyt gets to work as the women cry together, pushing the drunk guidance counselor away.

Lafayette is smoking outside Merlotte’s in a hoodie he surely bought from Forever 21. When Sam arrives to let him inside, Lafayette begins to see things again, and it’s blood on Sam’s hands. “Rough night?” Sam asks him. He can tell Lafayette is spooked.

Sookie is reading Star in Eric’s chair, passing time when Russell starts singing her name, trying to bribe her. When he offers his word that he won’t harm her or anyone she loves, she says “Stepping around the fact that your word’s worth as much as tits on a turtle? What else?” She demands five million dollars and he reluctantly agrees and also says he’ll kill Eric, Bill, both, neither or “one of your choosing.” She says she’d also like his house in Mississippi: “I like that house.” But what does she have to do? Release him. “No.”

Russell says how amazing Sookie’s blood is. He lures her to him, talking about how smart Bill is, and how he shows such restraint for not draining Sookie dry. Sookie sprays him with silver. “That’s enough out of you.” Russell threatens her again, but he shouldn’t be doing that – Sookie finds his urn with Talbot’s remains. She finds out Russell thinks he can bring Talbot back to life using her blood. In an un-Sookie like move, she dumps Talbot’s remains down the garbage disposal with a laugh.

Jason and Crystal take his truck to Hot Shot. Crystal calls them out and tells them about the DEA. She hands out orders – they have to get rid of the V. Crystal’s dad obliges but tells Jason it’s still none of his business – he’s got things under control. “Is that so? Because I see a bunch of people that look dirty and hungry and kids who probably ain’t in school. And several people obviously got dental problems.” Best. Line. Ever.

Crystal’s fiancee, Filton, comes out of nowhere with a gun, shooting Crystal’s dad and another bystander. He’s high on V and doesn’t want to rid of it.

For some reason, Filton hasn’t shot Jason. He’d rather argue with him and say Crystal is going with him in Jason’s truck. She gives in, telling Jason to take care of all the people in Hot Shot. “Somebody’s gotta take care of everybody that’s left!” All the trashy people stare at Jason with hope in their hearts.

While trying to find Tommy, Sam stumbles upon Terry, who is crying on his front porch. Sam apologizes for going off on him while drunk, but Terry is obviously upset about something else. He seems to be upset about how great everything is. “Everything’s great!” Even his armadillo, Felix, is good. “It couldn’t get any better.” Seems like the PTSD is affecting him again, in a strange way.

Sam goes inside the house where he was letting Tommy live. He was not a good renter – he left the house a mess, with lamps overturned, the faucet on and the freezer door open. He’s definitely hit the road, which gives Sam a thought that’s likely “S–t, my money!”

Tara can’t stop thinking of all the crazy that has happened to her in the last year. She goes to see her mom, who is sober but in the middle of a tryst with the reverend.

“Does his wife know? How about his kids?” Tara asks. “He gonna leave his wife, he just needs time. I’m in love!” Elly Mae says. Tara knows it won’t work out for her mom, but wants to change from cynical old Tara to positive, Zen Tara. “Good luck, Mama,” she says, giving her a hug.

Sam finds that his safe has been removed and starts screaming. In the kitchen, Arlene says she can’t deal with Sam today. Lafayette hears her, but sees Renee with his hands around her neck, saying he’s inside her right now.

Lafayette freaks out and goes to call Jesus. “I am seeing things; bad things!” Jesus is at work and tries to convince his boyfriend he’s not schizo like his mama. Jesus promises to come over, and Lafayette hangs up, fixes his do-rag and gets back to work.

Ginger has arrived at Fangtasia, and she’s keeping Sookie company. They hear a truck outside and Russell says it’s his wolves, coming to help him. It’s Alcide, and he’s there to help Eric. Sookie was hoping it was for her. They have a beer together and Alcide says, “I’ve been thinking about you a lot. Even had a couple dreams about you.” “Alcide!” Sookie says with a blush. They have a little flirting session which makes Russell laugh and say that Alcide eats people. “Rabbits and squirrels!” Alcide corrects him.

It’s nighttime, so Bill, Pam and Eric come out. Sookie is heading home and rescinds the invite to her house for all vampires present. Bill gives Alcide a sneer as Eric drags Russell out the door to the truck. “Eric, do not bring that thing back inside this bar!” Pam commands.

The DEA brings Jason back to the police station. They are upset that he tipped Hot Shot off and calls Bon Temps “Backwater hicks!” Andy is not thrilled. “And thanks for spilling the beans about Eggs to Tara!” He tells Jason he is never going to be a cop, but Jason’s convinced he did the right thing.

Jesus tries to explain to Lafayette that he’s just more sensitive now. Jesus mentions he used to hear and see things with multiple faces when he was learning magic in a sweat lodge. Lafayette is like “Wait a minute – you said somebody taught you magic? What are you?” He’s a witch. “You a witch whose a nurse whose a dude?” Lafayette asks. “I guess I lucked out then, huh?” Cue the witches in season 4. Too bad we have to wait until next summer!

Whenever you make a big life change, you have to cut your hair. At least that’s what Jenny Schecter and Tara seem to think. She takes scissors to her braids and chops them off.

 

Over dinner with Sookie, they talk about how long it’s been since they’ve hung out. They hold hands briefly before Tara decides to head over to Merlotte’s. They hug and Tara gets teary-eyed. The sad music indicates Tara is saying goodbye, for the last time.

Alcide drops Eric, Bill and the burnt Russell off at a construction site and leaves. The plan is to put Russell in concrete and bury him alive “for at least 100 years!” Bill gets super corny and says dramatic things while Eric yells at the invisible-to-everyone-else Godric. Russell laughs at their plan, but stops once the concrete buries him.

Godric looks on with a sad face. His progeny is not doing him proud.

Bill extends his hand and Eric takes it, but Bill is tricking him. He knocks Eric down into another empty pit and begins to fill it with concrete.

Bill calls some guy named Ruben on Eric’s phone and mimics his voice. “It’s Northman. I want you to find my progeny Pam and kill her. Now.”

Hoyt has a surprise for Jessica, so he puts her in a blindfold and brings her inside a house. It’s for her; for them. “It’s totally cute. No, I mean it could be really cute. Can you paint it?” Hoyt says he can, but the tricked out hiding hole for her is first. He wants to marry her. “We can’t!” she says, but he says he’ll become a minister and marry them himself if he has to. So nice to see one couple end up together that we’d hoped for. So much for the Eric-Sookie sex that we thought might finally happen. Anyway, there’s a suspicious doll lying on the bedroom floor, which Hoyt obviously ignored when he first saw the house.

Meanwhile, his mom is buying a gun at the local rifle shop. Uh oh.

Bill goes to Sookie’s, asking if they can talk. She lets him come in. He tells her he ended Eric. “He tasted you; he knew what you are.” He says he intends to bring the true death to Pam, the Queen, and any who discover what she is in the future. “I have never loved, nor will I ever love as I have loved you.”

He starts to leave, but Eric shows up. He has escaped the concrete, but is wearing the remnants on his tracksuit and face. He is there on a mission.

“Did you tell her you were originally sent by the Queen of Louisiana to procure her, because of what you might be? What about you letting two psychos beat her within an inch of her life so you could feed her your blood the night you met? Think she’ll forgive you for that?”

OMG. Bill has to admit it’s all true. “He doesn’t want to protect you; he only wants to protect himself,” Eric says. Sookie is pissed. It’s all been a lie. “Love? You don’t even get to use that word!” She rescinds her invite yet again, to both of them.

“I’m sorry to see you suffer like this,” Eric tells her. “I thought you had the right to know.” If he wasn’t looking so dirty right now, maybe something would have happened between them. Angry sex!

Eric goes home to Fangtasia, where Pam is still alive. She tells Eric that Ruben tried to kill her but she took him out. “I have zero patience with that s–t.” She’s so bad ass.

Sam’s got a gun, and he finds Tommy with a duffle bag full of his cash. He pulls his truck to the side of the road and chases after his brother, shooting in the air to scare him and demands his money back. They argue over if Sam saved Tommy’s life or ruined it. Sam tells Tommy to get a job. “I can’t f—ing read!” “Not my problem.” Tommy tries to take off again. “You ain’t gonna shoot s–t.” But Sam fires.

Sophie-Ann comes to visit Bill. She’s wearing a lovely black satin dress with matching veiled hat. She asks if he’s excited that Russell is no more. She’s dressed for the occasion at least.

“Alright, bring me the girl. I have waited a century to find a true fae. I can’t wait to feel the sun upon my skin again. Maybe I’ll get a yacht!” But Bill tells her the truth; he lied to her to get her there. He wants to kill her. Sophie-Ann finds it amusing as she’s “over twice his age.” They both bare fangs and jump into the air, ready to fight.

With noone else to talk to, Sookie goes to Gran’s grave. “Gran, I am so lost. I followed my heart but it led me down a dead end road.” Poor Sookie. But Claudine arrives with her fairy crew. “Come with us!” And she does.

The end.

Seriously – that’s the end? So many questions unanswered. So many things we thought could happen this season that didn’t. And, no, I don’t think True Blood is too gay – it’s not gay enough, at least not as far as women are concerned.

It’s such a long wait for next season, but I’m hopeful Alan Ball and the writers will deliver something ever better next time around. They’ve given themselves a lot to work with, so let’s hope it’s worth the wait.

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