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The 17 Biggest OMG Moments of “True Blood” Season 3

 

The general consensus around here is that True Blood, which airs its season finale this Sunday, has been on a major creative roll. The HBO supernatural drama has been wilder, weirder, funnier, certainly bloodier, and we think farmore entertaining this past year than in the previous two seasons.

In honor of that, and to get you in the mood for the Sunday finale, we thought we’d take a look back on the banner season and pick out the year’s biggest “Oh My God!” moments. These are the scenes that most made us wantto laugh, cheer, shriek, cry, or in some cases, seriously hurl. We’ve ranked them roughly from tamest to most outrageous.

No doubt we’ve left some of your favorite moments off this list. If so, please let us know which ones in the comments.

17. Talbot’s fancy blood feast.

“It’s cruelty-free, all willingly donated. Note the citrusy finish.

This one ate only tangerines for a week!”

The setup: Bill has been taken captive by the exceedingly well-mannered Russell Edgington, the vampire king of Mississppi and his snitty and decorative consort Talbot. He may be a prisoner, but he’s treated to posh digs, inlcuding the ultimate in vampire cuisine – which is pretty much a vegan nightmare.

While Bill and the Vampire King talk shop, Talbot excuses himself so he can “go drain the second course. Carlo, bring me that Thai boy!”

By the time the final course of “blood gelato” rolled around we were rolling on the floor at the bloody inventiveness of the writers.

 

16. Eric in all his glory.

The setup: Sookie heads to Fangtasia to enlist Eric’s help in finding the missing Bill. Pam tries flirting with her but Sookie isn’t in the “mood for any lesbian weirdness.” So perhaps out of spite, Pam lets her go down to the basement to witness heterosexual weirdness. Eric, naked in all his glory, banging exotic dancer Yvetta. At supersonic speeds.

This aired just after we heard that Alexander SkarsgÄrd refuses to wear a sock when filming nude scenes. OMG indeed.

“See anything you like?”

3. “Yes, Daddy!”

The setup: Eric wants revenge on Russell Edgington for murdering his family centuries ago. Talbot winds up collateral damage. We were sorry to see the fussy royal consort experience “the true death,” but at least until that last gruesome moment when Eric staked him in the back, Talbot seemed to be having a very good time.

2. Lorena’s backwardglance.

The setup: Bill vents his frustration and anger at Lorena by giving in and screwing her… head 180 degrees. Eek.

1. Russell makes theevening news.

The setup: Russell is in a rage over the loss of Talbot, so he takes to the airwaves to render the nightly news anchor spineless and traumatize humans everywhere. Single greatest line of True Blood season 3: “Now, time for the weather. Tiffany?”

 

Did we leave off one of your favorite scenes? Surprised, as we were, that some popular characters didn’t figure at all in this list? Let us know what you think in the comments.

The True Blood season 3 finale airs on HBO Sunday night at 9pm EST.

6. Pam and the Magister.

The setup: The creepy Magister has been holding Pam hostage and torturing her with silver jewelry from Tiffany & Co. (Oh the irony). He gets his comeuppance though. Russell sees to it that heads roll.

5. Sam’s dream aboutBill.

The setup: After ingesting massive amounts of Bill’s blood at the end of last season, Sam has an erotic dream about Bill – only at first the audience doesn’t realize it’s a dream. Curse you Alan Ball! Biggest head fake of the season.

4. The Swayze spit take.

The setup: A pack of vampires have kidnapped Bill. The lucky gents in the back seat are feasting on his blood, but if the guy in the front seat wants a taste, Patrick Swayze’s brother Don has to feed it to him.

3. “Yes, Daddy!”

The setup: Eric wants revenge on Russell Edgington for murdering his family centuries ago. Talbot winds up collateral damage. We were sorry to see the fussy royal consort experience “the true death,” but at least until that last gruesome moment when Eric staked him in the back, Talbot seemed to be having a very good time.

2. Lorena’s backwardglance.

The setup: Bill vents his frustration and anger at Lorena by giving in and screwing her… head 180 degrees. Eek.

1. Russell makes theevening news.

The setup: Russell is in a rage over the loss of Talbot, so he takes to the airwaves to render the nightly news anchor spineless and traumatize humans everywhere. Single greatest line of True Blood season 3: “Now, time for the weather. Tiffany?”

 

Did we leave off one of your favorite scenes? Surprised, as we were, that some popular characters didn’t figure at all in this list? Let us know what you think in the comments.

The True Blood season 3 finale airs on HBO Sunday night at 9pm EST.

12. Sam on a leash.

The setup: Shapeshifter Sam Merlotte goes undercover on the dogfighting circuit by morphing into a sweet-natured pit bull. When he morphs back he hilariously looks like he’d be right at home at the roughest of leather bars.

“Grrrr.”

 

11. Biscuits Girl makes herentrance.

The setup: Hoyt is still pining over Jessica, but that doesn’t stop “good girl” Summer from showing up on his doorstep. She offers up her delicious home-made biscuits and jam as if she’s gifting him her virginity. It’s a hopeless cause, but her superficially chaste yet actually brazen attempts to win Hoyt’s affections are riotously funny. More Biscuits Girl in season four, please.

 

10. Jessica dispatchesa werewolf.

The setup: Russell sends his werewolves to collect Sookie and awkward new vampire Jessica looks to be collateral damage. Good thing Bill gave her a training session on supernatural fighting just that afternoon! From helpless quarry to bloodthirsty killer, it was enormously gratifying seeing her take out Wolfman Swayze.

9. The Sookie vs. Debbie knife fight.

The setup: Female knife fights are always a fun time, and this showdown between Sookie and Alcide’s trashy ex-girlfriend didn’t disappoint. The scene wouldn’t have been out of place in a Quentin Tarantino movie.

8. “I’m a fairy? How f—–g lame is that?”

The setup: After hinting about it for the longest time, the show finally got around to voicing what fans of the books already knew: Sookie Stackhouse is part fairy. It was a clever touch having Sookie’s reaction to this news roughly mirror that of the audience.

7. Jesus and Lafayette’s morning after.

“You were a lot cuter last night.”

The setup: After a V-induced night of past life flashbacks, Lafayette turns to look at Jesus and is greeted with a horrifying demon face. Was it a hallucination? Or something else more sinister? Whatever it was, like Lafayette it had us jumping right off the couch.

6. Pam and the Magister.

The setup: The creepy Magister has been holding Pam hostage and torturing her with silver jewelry from Tiffany & Co. (Oh the irony). He gets his comeuppance though. Russell sees to it that heads roll.

5. Sam’s dream aboutBill.

The setup: After ingesting massive amounts of Bill’s blood at the end of last season, Sam has an erotic dream about Bill – only at first the audience doesn’t realize it’s a dream. Curse you Alan Ball! Biggest head fake of the season.

4. The Swayze spit take.

The setup: A pack of vampires have kidnapped Bill. The lucky gents in the back seat are feasting on his blood, but if the guy in the front seat wants a taste, Patrick Swayze’s brother Don has to feed it to him.

3. “Yes, Daddy!”

The setup: Eric wants revenge on Russell Edgington for murdering his family centuries ago. Talbot winds up collateral damage. We were sorry to see the fussy royal consort experience “the true death,” but at least until that last gruesome moment when Eric staked him in the back, Talbot seemed to be having a very good time.

2. Lorena’s backwardglance.

The setup: Bill vents his frustration and anger at Lorena by giving in and screwing her… head 180 degrees. Eek.

1. Russell makes theevening news.

The setup: Russell is in a rage over the loss of Talbot, so he takes to the airwaves to render the nightly news anchor spineless and traumatize humans everywhere. Single greatest line of True Blood season 3: “Now, time for the weather. Tiffany?”

 

Did we leave off one of your favorite scenes? Surprised, as we were, that some popular characters didn’t figure at all in this list? Let us know what you think in the comments.

The True Blood season 3 finale airs on HBO Sunday night at 9pm EST.

15. Franklin’s gift bag.

The setup: Jessica killed a trucker and was hiding the decomposing body underneath the house. She freaks when the body disappears on her. Enter Franklin, who teases her about losing someone and then pulls a little something from the gift bag he’s carrying.

“Maybe this will jog your memory.”

 

14. Queen Sophie Anne’s scratchlottery ticket addiction.

The setup: We were wondering why the Queen had such money problems. Now we know why.

13. Tara kicks Bill out of the linen truck.

The setup: Tara spent most of the season inertly morose and victimized (which we found really tiresome), but in the season’s seventh episode she briefly gets her mojo back – after ingesting a serious amount of vampire blood. First she bashes crazy Franklin’s head in, but even cooler: when she discovers that Bill has mindlessly attacked Sookie in the back of their getaway linen truck, she screams like a banshee, kicks him out of the van and ten feet across the pavement. We love the badass Tara! If only we’d seen more of her this season.

“Get out!”

12. Sam on a leash.

The setup: Shapeshifter Sam Merlotte goes undercover on the dogfighting circuit by morphing into a sweet-natured pit bull. When he morphs back he hilariously looks like he’d be right at home at the roughest of leather bars.

“Grrrr.”

 

11. Biscuits Girl makes herentrance.

The setup: Hoyt is still pining over Jessica, but that doesn’t stop “good girl” Summer from showing up on his doorstep. She offers up her delicious home-made biscuits and jam as if she’s gifting him her virginity. It’s a hopeless cause, but her superficially chaste yet actually brazen attempts to win Hoyt’s affections are riotously funny. More Biscuits Girl in season four, please.

 

10. Jessica dispatchesa werewolf.

The setup: Russell sends his werewolves to collect Sookie and awkward new vampire Jessica looks to be collateral damage. Good thing Bill gave her a training session on supernatural fighting just that afternoon! From helpless quarry to bloodthirsty killer, it was enormously gratifying seeing her take out Wolfman Swayze.

9. The Sookie vs. Debbie knife fight.

The setup: Female knife fights are always a fun time, and this showdown between Sookie and Alcide’s trashy ex-girlfriend didn’t disappoint. The scene wouldn’t have been out of place in a Quentin Tarantino movie.

8. “I’m a fairy? How f—–g lame is that?”

The setup: After hinting about it for the longest time, the show finally got around to voicing what fans of the books already knew: Sookie Stackhouse is part fairy. It was a clever touch having Sookie’s reaction to this news roughly mirror that of the audience.

7. Jesus and Lafayette’s morning after.

“You were a lot cuter last night.”

The setup: After a V-induced night of past life flashbacks, Lafayette turns to look at Jesus and is greeted with a horrifying demon face. Was it a hallucination? Or something else more sinister? Whatever it was, like Lafayette it had us jumping right off the couch.

6. Pam and the Magister.

The setup: The creepy Magister has been holding Pam hostage and torturing her with silver jewelry from Tiffany & Co. (Oh the irony). He gets his comeuppance though. Russell sees to it that heads roll.

5. Sam’s dream aboutBill.

The setup: After ingesting massive amounts of Bill’s blood at the end of last season, Sam has an erotic dream about Bill – only at first the audience doesn’t realize it’s a dream. Curse you Alan Ball! Biggest head fake of the season.

4. The Swayze spit take.

The setup: A pack of vampires have kidnapped Bill. The lucky gents in the back seat are feasting on his blood, but if the guy in the front seat wants a taste, Patrick Swayze’s brother Don has to feed it to him.

3. “Yes, Daddy!”

The setup: Eric wants revenge on Russell Edgington for murdering his family centuries ago. Talbot winds up collateral damage. We were sorry to see the fussy royal consort experience “the true death,” but at least until that last gruesome moment when Eric staked him in the back, Talbot seemed to be having a very good time.

2. Lorena’s backwardglance.

The setup: Bill vents his frustration and anger at Lorena by giving in and screwing her… head 180 degrees. Eek.

1. Russell makes theevening news.

The setup: Russell is in a rage over the loss of Talbot, so he takes to the airwaves to render the nightly news anchor spineless and traumatize humans everywhere. Single greatest line of True Blood season 3: “Now, time for the weather. Tiffany?”

 

Did we leave off one of your favorite scenes? Surprised, as we were, that some popular characters didn’t figure at all in this list? Let us know what you think in the comments.

The True Blood season 3 finale airs on HBO Sunday night at 9pm EST.

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