“Skins” reveals generation three, we only cry a little
Hey, everybody! How are you guys this afterno-whoa, what is going on in here?
Ohhh. OK, just hang on and cover your ears; I’ll be back in a few minutes. Katie, darling, you come sit by me.
So it has happened! After weeks of Jamie Brittain teasing us with photos of fingers and noses, the cast of the third generation (fifth series) of Skins has been revealed. And here they are, in all their Bristol-brick-wall glory.
It’s the ladies you’re interested in, right? Well, here you go:
Freya Mavor
Hails from: Edinburgh
Accent hotness: Eight out of ten
Chosen adjective to describe being cast on Skins: Insane
Twitter response: ZOMG! SO FETCH! DO WANT! HELLO, NEW EFFY!
Heather Hogan’s response to Twitter response: OK, she’s pretty, but THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A NEW EFFY. EVER.
Hails from: Bristol
Accent hotness: Seven out of ten
Chosen adjective to describe being cast on Skins: Mad
Claim to fame: Lives in Bristol, home of Skins. Hagrid flew over the city once on his motorbike
Reminds us of: Jal
Hails from: Swansea, South Wales
Accent hotness: Ten out of ten
Chosen adjective to describe being cast on Skins: Lucky
Other gems we gleaned from her profile: None.
Hails from: Brighton
Accent hotness: Seven out of ten
Chosen adjective to describe being cast on Skins: Crazy
Haven’t you seen her somewhere before: Yes
Where: On the back of an armored polar bear in The Golden Compass
Oh, wasn’t that the worst book-to-movie adaptation ever: No, you’re thinking of Eragon and The Tale of Despereaux. Great books. Truly horrible movies. Emma Watson was in Despereaux, though, and none of you hold that against her.
Hails from: N/A
Is she seriously involved with this generation: No
Then what’s she doing here: Went to auditions looking for Naomi
I’m afraid: Me too
Favorite possessions: Jean shorts, drawings of Naomi, Naomi’s old toothbrush, Naomi’s discarded Garibaldi wrapper
Why is she grinning at me like that: I don’t know; try not to look directly into her eyes, though.
There are also some dudes, one of which looks alarmingly like David Archulta. You can check out the cast’s full bios at E4.com.
One of the ladies is going to play a character “very much in the tradition of Skins’ portrayal of sexuality,” according to Jamie Brittain (more on that soon), and if the past is any indication of the future, one of these poor kids is going to get axe-murdered by the end of series six.
This cast reveal makes me feel like Jessie Spano all hopped up on caffeine pills: So excited! So excited! So … scared. A lot of people on the internet are being kind of awful about the new cast already, and I think I know why. It’s a little scientific law called Juxtaposing Lily, and it goes like this: Something pretty on its own is pretty. Something pretty placed beside Lily Loveless looks like a monster. Here’s what I mean:
The light of The Loveless is too strong; it overpowers all the other beautiful things. So to really get a good grasp on the new cast, you have to shut down all your browser tabs with photos of The Loveless, meditate for 15 minutes on something other than The Loveless, and then reassess the new Skins gen.
Now, back to generation two: You guys can stop crying. Jack Thorne wrote a movie about you. You start filming in like a month.
Much better.
What do you think of the new generation of Skins?