“Skins” Retro Recap (3.03): “Thomas”


Emily takes a deep, steadying breath and just sends the truth flying into the night: “I didn’t take MDMA that night. I just … wanted to kiss you. I want to kiss you now.”

Effy, the Original Naomily Shipper, smiles that smile — you know the one — while Naomi freaks right the f-ck out: “You’re gay?!”

Emily says no, twice, and then apologizes, which is her total modus operandi with Katie on the regular, and Naomi says she’s sorry too and then hobbles away, muttering some more to herself. (“We told her to go away and away she goes, Precious! Gone, gone, gone! Naomikins is free!“)

More LOLs? RophyDoes!

But sorry for what, exactly? Sorry you’ve gotta go? Sorry your hair’s still not quite right? Sorry Emily is legitimately gay because your life just got about one gazillion times more terrifying?

Thomas comes bounding up like when your dog is just super pleased with herself for retrieving a tennis ball, and asks Emily which one she is. She answers “gay” and then changes it to “Emily.” And I think that’s the very first time she verbalizes any identity for herself outside the confines of her twin-ness.

To answer your earlier question, Emily Fitch: yes, I am satisfied. Deeply, deeply satisfied.

I’m going to need a moment.

What happens next is that Thomas raps in French and everyone cheers and loves him, and Emily sneaks some peeks at Naomi, and then they all go out into the fresh morning air, and Thomas is rich!

Thomas prayed for money and he got money. Thomas prayed for friends and he got friends. And you know who made that happen, with one phone call? Effy Stonem. Omnipotent.

Thomas straps on his trainers and runs like a dog.

Nope. F-cking Mackenzie Crook kidnaps them all and challenges Thomo to a pepper eating contest, which, much like the doughnut camera work, is just so very Skins: surreal, insane, oddly effective. Thomas wins, of course. And now he has friends forever.

What will he do with them? Engage in debauchery: Donuts! Weed! Vodka! Rum! Dancing! Breasts! It’s a roaring good time — until his mom shows up and tells him to pack his rucksack; he’s on the first plane back to Congo!

And can I tell you something? For all my upstanding adoration for JJ, and complete acceptance of the fact that he’s going to sleep with Emily, my first reaction when I saw him twirling her around in Thomas’ hallway was, “Get your hands off of her!”

I blame Rophy for this. (And I don’t look forward to recapping JJ’s episode, actually, because I love him, and the last time I wrote about him, someone called me “Hitler.” Hitler!)

So Thomas came to Britain. And then he left. And Panda is publicly naked and publicly heartbroken and probably stoned out of her head. You know what will help? A nice cup of tea.

Check out Rophy’s Thomas recap!

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