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“FlashForward” mini-cap (1.16): “Let No Man Put Asunder”

Two years before the blackout, Wedeck and Mark welcome the FBI newbies as those who “can be counted on to do the right thing at the right time — every time.” We see younger versions of Marcie and Janis, but they seem too innocent to conspire against the State in dorky glasses and shoulder pads.

Unlike in the past, when she answered to Janis and was the team mascot, Marcie is now the center of attention, sporting the shiner from Janis’s knuckle sandwich and revealing very little about her covert employer.

She shares her flashforward — about which no one had ever bothered to ask her. In it, though she’s incarcerated, Marcie’s “indispensable” because of who recruited her. It’s the first time she’d ever felt important — not anyone’s mascot.

Speaking of powerful ladies, Madam Vice President Clemente recruits Wedeck to help her pin down Jericho, but she wants it off the books. In her vision it was clear that Jericho had threatened the US’s national security and caused the political crisis that rendered her president. She implies that if Wedeck helps her, he may be “in with the new” administration, following the current president’s inevitable assassination, which proves to be a convincing deal. He tracks down Tracy’s dad Aaron and enlists him to go to Afghanistan, find out everything he can about Jericho, and though chances of his returning look bleak, Aaron knows that in his vision, he’s with Tracy in Afghanistan, which is all he cares about.

Three days away from his death-day, Demetri is hella antsy and asks Zoey if she’ll marry him in Hawaii tomorrow. Zoey responds, “Hell yes!” and I guess that’s aloha to the happy couple.

After tending to Charlie’s boo-boo, the destined couple, Olivia and Lloyd, mull their failed marriages over a bottle of gin and before you know it, they’re playing tonsil hockey. I guess you just can’t fight the flashforward.

Demetri, after getting wasted at the bar for his last-minute bachelor party, tries to bring up “that night in Somalia” with Janis, but before he can get out his slurred words, Janis confesses, “I’m pregnant,” just as the cab he’s in drives away. Very sneaky — did they or didn’t they? This is too weird, but I bet they’d have a really hot CaucAsian baby.

Nevertheless, Demetri and Zoey attempt to get married in the States before fleeing to Hawaii, but gosh, Dyson Frost ruins everything and knocks Demetri out with Mark’s gun.

The always-beautiful Zoey is left at the altar, while Demetri, unconscious, chills in the back of Frost’s blue sedan. I don’t know if it’s ironic, but it’s like Dyson Frost on your wedding day. How rude.

Dyson Frost wins the award for the creepiest dude alive, especially when he sits next to Olivia’s daughter at the school carnival and sinisterly says, “Hello, Charlie.” It’s the new “Hello, Clarice,” and I’m officially creeped out.

NEXT WEEK: Either Demetri or Dyson will die, time is running out, and we still don’t know anything about Janis! Ugh.

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