“The Real World: Washington, D.C.” mini-cap: Misogyny hurts


Last week on The Real World, "The Ty and Emily Show" returns, but by the end of the episode, Ty turns into Ty-rannosaurus Rex, so "The Ty and Emily Show" becomes Ty’s demolition derby.

First, it is difficult finding the right words to describe Josh. There are simply too many. There are at least 47 synonyms for the word "fool" at thesaurus.com, including "birdbrain," "dunce," "buffoon" and "twerp." And let’s not forget the internet’s favorite catch-all term to define a person whose behavior is contemptible: "douchebag." In this episode, Josh is seen making out with a girl named Chelsea at a club, even after he maintains that he has remained faithful to his girlfriend Ashley back home.

Josh then takes said Chelsea home and sleeps with her. See, Josh is just being a good wingman. Andrew is interested in Chelsea’s friend, so Josh occupies Chelsea so that Andrew can get laid. While Josh is in bed with Chelsea, his girlfriend Ashley calls, and he gets out of bed to talk to her. “I can’t wait to see you,” he says.

Then he climbs back into bed with Chelsea. Josh, you’re all class.

Andrew eventually does get laid, and the two women leave.

Yes, you read that correctly. In fact, this is the second time this episode. Miracles do happen.

Later, Josh’s girlfriend comes to visit and she tells Ashley and Emily how much she trusts him. Ashley and Emily try not to say anything, but their expressions say everything.

After Ashley returns home, Josh brings a club promoter Kelly-Ann back to the house, and they get cozy in the hot tub.

Before he sleeps with her, Josh decides to break up with Ashley over the phone, using the following line: “I am only a man and I can’t help myself.” As Ashley cries uncontrollably, he hangs up and gets into bed with Kelly-Ann.

Josh said: “James Bond has a license to kill, and rock stars have a license to be outrageous.” Well, if selling out stadiums as the front man of Wicked Liquid doesn’t work out, maybe he can land a starring role in a Valtrex commercial.

Meanwhile, "The Ty and Emily Show" heats up again and starts crossing the line from annoying to kinda scary. When Ty drinks, he likes to play fight with Emily, and each time, it escalates. Sometimes, Ty doesn’t even bother with the play and goes straight to fighting.

When Andrew and Josh both brought girls to the house earlier in the episode, the girl Josh brought back, Chelsea, insulted Emily before traipsing off to Josh’s den of nast-ay. Emily, understandably irritated at being insulted by a complete stranger in her own home, decided to have some words with her, but Ty stepped in front of her and told her not to c–k block Josh.

Let me get this straight. At that point in the show, Josh still had a girlfriend and shouldn’t be schtupping club hoochies, and this particular hoochie called Emily an idiot in her own kitchen, unprovoked. And Ty believed he had a moral imperative to get Josh laid in peace? Ty, on what planet do you spend most of your time?

Ignoring Ty, Emily continued to follow Josh and Chelsea, but Ty shoved her away. This wasn’t play fighting anymore, and Emily decided not to have anything to do with Ty for the remainder of the episode.

Ty does not respond well to the silent treatment, so, after yet another club outing, Ty decides to take out his frustrations on the rest of the roommates.

He goes out to the porch, where the rest of the cast is lounging and starts picking fights with all of them. They tell him that he is being belligerent, and things begin to escalate, but the tension is broken by goofy Andrew bounding into the middle of the fray. Still glowing from his latest conquests, Andrew is oblivious and doesn’t recognize that Ty is about to snap. He playfully sprays Ty with his drink, and Ty responds by throwing him over the balcony to the concrete ten feet below.

No MTV reality show is complete without a visit to the emergency room and someone getting arrested and/or thrown out of the house. As the screen fades to black and the words “To be continued” flash on the screen, Andrew is heard howling, so we know that he survives.

Oddly enough, I bet that he is secretly pleased that he may have to wear a leg brace or crutches for the rest of the season, because it might help him get sympathy sex.

Stay tuned for recaps of the remainder of the season. Also, an interview with Emily on her sexuality and dating women while in the Real World house.