RachelWatch: Bringing justice to the highjackers


Today: Ana Marie Cox, Bill Nye the Science Guy, and a look at the upcoming terror trials.

Justice Delayed but Not Denied

Rachel started us off by pointing out that the Bush White House was big on starting things but not huge on finishing them when it came to its wars.

Case in point, the War on Terror and that project of bringing the 9/11 suspects to justice.

Now that Attorney General Eric Holder has announced that suspects will be brought to New York to stand trial, people are starting to flip out and say the word ‘justice’ all sarcastically, as though someone who truly loves our country should think it’s a bad thing.

Ah, yes. I remember how much the Founding Fathers hated the concept of a judicial system for people we don’t like. I was especially moved by Patrick Henry’s famous essay “Screw Fair Trials Right in the Ear.”

One of the main arguments against bringing the suspects to trial is that the criminal court system couldn’t possibly handle a terror trial. Rachel scooped up that line of reasoning, spun it around, pinned its arms behind its back, and gave it a quick swat on the butt before moving on.

Stupak as a Box of Hammers

Rachel only needed a quick interstitial spot to illustrate why the Stupak amendment is so dangerous and so aggressively plateheaded.

She reported that the Republican Party has hastily dropped elective abortion coverage from its insurance policy, because whoops! It makes it hard to throw hissy fits when it’s in there. Credible hissy fits, anyway.

Only the drop still doesn’t really make them theoretically Stupak compliant, because the party is still paying premiums to a company that offers abortion at all. Which means, by Stupak’s logic, that they’re funding abortions.

So, yeah, there might be one or two or all companies that are forced to drop coverage if the amendment passes.

Proof & Consequences

Rachel moved back to the impending terror trials, this time exploring the itsy bitsy little legal hitch of how to get a conviction when evidence might have been obtained during that part where we waterboarded the suspect 183 times.

And then there was the slamming people into walls and the fake executions.

Michael Isikoff of Newsweek checked in to talk about how the government plans to extract the witch trial so we can have a real one.

Ms. Information

Rachel reported that former Congressman William Jefferson (D – Louisiana) has been convicted of money-laundering, bribery, and racketeering and has been sentenced to 13 years in prison.

Presumably he will be working in the prison kitchens due to his innovative work with frozen foods.

Rachel also brought us a fantastic correction story. Rick Morissey, a sports writer for the Chicago Tribune, had been so skeptical of the Bulls choosing Joakim Noah as their first round draft pick that he said that he would eat his column (with salsa!) if Noah turned out to be worth it.

Noah has been tearing up the court, so Rick Morissey showed his corrections-issuing moxie by tucking in. I admire Morrissey’s willingness to admit he was wrong, dedication to his word, and wisdom in specifying his condiment in advance.

Rogue Gain

And it sounds like Sarah Palin had better break out the Tabasco or moosetard or whatever it is she uses, because people are already swatting down the, ah, “misstatements” in her book right and left.

Rachel welcomed Air America Radio’s Ana Marie Cox (hooray!) to talk about the effect Palin’s book is having, implausible stories and all.

On an interesting side note, it turns out that Rachel never swears. Though I have it on good authority that she lets out an emphatic “Gee, Willikers!” when she’s really steamed.

Even more interesting is the implication that Ms. Palin’s reputation on the right is about to shift from “plucky lady with a certain tolerable ditziness” to “not at all tolerable liar.”

I wonder how much winking it will take to get past that.

Houston, We Have a Puddle

Remember how we bombed the moon?

It and we are still here, so everything’s cool. Plus we found water! Green cheese slushies for everyone!

Rachel welcomed science guy Bill Nye to talk about what water on the moon does and doesn’t mean and to push for the move onward to Mars.

Yeah, but do we get to make anything explode?

Zergnet Code