Warning: Fall spoilers are out to get us


Fall TV is finally almost upon us, and while gearing up to invite our favorite characters back into our living rooms is exciting, this time of year also means that the the Internet has become one giant spoiler land mine.

For example, in the last week I accidentally found out that Pam and Jim get [SPOILERED!] in the [SPOILERED!] episode of The Office this season. I discovered that Booth and Brennan totally [SPOILER!] on the [SPOILER!] at [SPOILER!] on Bones. I know that Serena and Blair are going to [SPOILER!] at [SPOILER!] while [SPOILER!] is [SPOILERING!] on Gossip Girl. And, if you can believe it, Agent Sarah Walker from Chuck is going to make out with me!

Wait, no: That last thing was a dream I had, not a spoiler I read. Sorry, it seemed so real.

With shows like Gossip Girl and Ugly Betty filming almost daily on the streets of Manhattan, it’s almost impossible not to get spoiled a little. If it’s not paparazzi photos showing up on your favorite blogs, it’s Getty Images or the last five minutes of Access Hollywood when you’re waiting for Jeopardy to start.

I have a tempestuous relationship with spoilers. My deepest, darkest spoiler confession goes like this:

Days after I’d finished reading Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince in 2005, someone sent me a video of a Harry Potter midnight release party in which someone drove past a Books-A-Million and shouted, “Snape kills Dumbledore!” out of the window of his car. The scene filled me with such shock and dread that I immediately began planning ways to keep myself un-spoiled for the final book (which J.K. Rowling hadn’t even begun writing at that point).

My years of planning paid off! The week before Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows was released, I packed up for the beach and cut myself off from the world, driving home the night of the midnight release party without anyone spoiling even the tiniest detail for me.

Insane? Definitely. But if someone had spoiled me, I would have had to Avada Kedavra them, and that’s never pretty.

On the flip-side, though, I saw every Bette and Tina sex scene at least a dozen times online before the The L Word episodes ever made it to Showtime. And that was not an accident, no stumbling involved. I went looking for those things. (Black bra shout out, TWOP!)

It’s hard to say whether or not spoilers enhance or cheapen the TV-viewing experience. It does sort of kill the anticipation, but, I mean, if I told you Serena and Blair [SPOILERED!] in the Gossip Girl season premiere, and I told you where to find it, would you really be able to not look?

Yeah, OK, you’re right — that picture above is Serena and Blair having an eye shag. Even spoiler explosion bubbles can’t hide that.

Another nice thing about spoilers is that it’s good to have a heads up if the most beloved character on a show is going to get killed off. It dampens the blow, at least a little. (I’m looking at you, Torchwood! And still at you, L Word!)

So, what’s your personal relationship with spoilers? Love them? Hate them? Trip over them? Seek them out like a miner with an ax? Any shows you’re spoiled for already? (No spoilers in the subject line of comments, please. And don’t forget to spoiler tag.)

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