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“Guiding Light” 8/14 mini-cap: Tossing and turning

Olivia can’t sleep. She is tossing and turning and abusing prescription medications with every throw. My suggestion for immediate slumber would be to watch the video caps of this recent storyline.

She gives up and goes to Company for an early breakfast. Blake tries to make cute coffee conversation, but Olivia cuts off her percolation. Blake is Natalia’s friend; she helped her leave. She is not Olivia’s friend.

Olivia inquires of Buzz about his Jenna project and says it must be amazing to have someone to love you like that. Buzz believes Olivia is joking since she is the object of adoration of every man who has ever met her. Yeah, well, that’s not exactly what she wants. Frank looks a little nauseous.

Being some kind of sadist, Olivia asks Frank why Natalia left her. He doesn’t know, and does it really matter? Olivia presses the why, and Frank asks her if she ever considered that is was her — just her. Doubt.

Philip and Olivia are commiserating in mutual misery. Philip is sick of having bad days, but Olivia says she is kinda getting used to it — it’s scripted. Olivia asks Philip why is it no one loves me for me? He says she’s not the easiest person to love, specially when network standards are dictating who’s on top.

Olivia bumps into Dr Rick at the mini mart and he tries to give her his wiener. She politely refuses, something Natalia should have done a few months ago when approached by a Frank-furter.

Matt sniffs out Olivia at the park. She shuts down this horndog’s game of fetch, too.

Josh sees Olivia sitting forlornly outside her hotel room. With Emma gone (remember Emma?), she’s lonely. Josh tells her she could watch TV or listen to the radio, or Olivia can invite him in. Being Olivia, she takes the latter.

Set to some kind of bad Polynesian foreplay music, Josh makes boat drinks and an advance on Olivia. She stops their forward progress. Olivia just wants Josh to stay with her and hold her while she sleeps. Reva calls Josh to come mop her kitchen, and the slumber party ends.

Olivia runs into will.i.am Rafe. All I can say about this is different scene, same twit.

Olivia is drowning her self-pity in ice cream. I didn’t know Goose could freeze. Doris walks in and finds her barefoot and poignant. Olivia says she is not lovable, she has no friends, and she has no relationship.

In one of the more bizarre scenes I’ve recapped, there is definitive proof the powers that be have made a month-long monkey out of Olivia, as Crystal Chappell plays out the scene while oddly (and distractingly) twirling a pencil with her toes. Is Crystal that bored? I can’t really blame her, and apparently neither can the director.

Doris reminds Olivia that in her daughters, she has all that she fears she is missing. Kids see you at your worst and still love you unconditionally. Does she really need anything else?

Enlightenment. Olivia grabs her shoes and starts to run out the door. Before she does, she kisses Doris on the cheek. I don’t know for sure, but I can bet that kiss blew Doris’ shoes off as well.

OK, did you really think I was going to let this go? Dolivia just got more action in five seconds than Otalia got in five months. Olivia kissed her self-professed lesbian friend. She didn’t pinch her cheek, she didn’t have to pull her hair or blow a smooch from afar. She simply pressed lips to skin.

It seems that the definitive L-word that brings out the network same-sex censor squad is professed “love,” not “lesbian.”

For updates and in-between Otalia postings go to www.mindschmootz.net.

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