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11 Memorable TV Guestbians

With the lack of lesbian and bisexual characters on TV these days, we’re left with a lot of straight women kissing during sweeps weeks, and the occasional guest lesbian character, or “guestbian.” A phrase Scribegrrrl coined in 2004 when she began recapping The L Word for us, a guestbian is a high-profile woman playing a lesbian or bisexual character.

Mariel Hemingway became one of the first and most well-known guesbians when she played a gay friend of Sandra Bernhard’s Nancy on Roseanne in 1994, and famously kissed the show’s star on screen (to much controversy off screen).

Since then, many more actresses have signed on to play gay or bi, if only temporarily.

Since we’ve written extensively about the decline of lesbian and bisexual visibility on American TV in the last decade, I thought I’d highlight one of the few positive developments over that time: the growing number of interesting queer roles played by high-profile (or semi-high-profile) actresses.

I chose 11 of the most entertaining here, but there are many good ones to choose from, so please feel free to add your favorites in the comments.

Most of the guestbians on this list are white, unfortunately, since there have been few high-profile guestbians played by women of color, let alone good ones (Kelly Hu played a guestbian recently, for example, and Dawnn Lewis guested as a lesbian on Girlfriends awhile back, but it would be hard to argue that either is among the most memorable guestbians on TV). If you think of any we missed, please let us know in the comments!

11. Sonia Braga on Sex & the City (HBO)

Episode 4.3 – 4.5 (2001)

Among Samantha’s (Kim Cattrall) many sexual conquests on the long-running drama was Maria, played by Sonia Braga (Kiss of the Spider Woman, Páginas da vida), a passionate artist who temporarily managed to convince Samantha to be in a relationship, until Samantha decided she missed men too much, and didn’t want to be tied down.

The storyline itself isn’t great – it reinforces stereotypes about lesbians and lesbian sex, and generally ignored the concept of bisexuality – but Braga makes a great lesbian.

10. Swoosie Kurtz and Blythe Danner on Nurse Jackie (Showtime)

Episode 1.6 “Tiny Bubbles” (2009)

Dr. Cooper’s two moms, Mrs. Cooper (Danner) and Mrs. Scheinhorn (Kurtz), are notable for their lack of notability. They’re a typical older couple played by two very well known actresses. Their relationship was taken seriously by the other characters (and the writers), but incorporated fairly casually into the show.

The way the lesbian couple fussed over each other in this episode is no different than the way other (heterosexual) couples do on medical dramas every week, but that alone made it different, given how starved we are for good representations of lesbians on TV (especially older lesbians). A good job all around.

9. Edie Falco and Chloe Sevigny on Will & Grace (NBC)

Episode 6.17 “East Side Story” (2004)

When Will (Eric McCormack) and Grace (Debra Messing) decide to get into buying and selling real estate, they met Deirdre (Edie Falco) and Monet (Chloe Sevigny), a lesbian couple referred to as “The Flipping Dykes” because of their success at flipping real estate.

The two pairs secretly decide to try and seduce the others in order to convince them to stay out of their territory, but their plans eventually fail, and all is revealed (not before Monet turns out to be genuinely interested in Will, which unfortunately reinforces the annoying stereotype about bisexual women secretly wanting to date men).

In the end, the two couples agreed to divide up New York, and a relieved Deirdre admitted, “I’m tired of dressing to intimidate anyway. I can’t wait ’til being lesbian goes out of style again. I can go back to my sweats and loose neckties.”

There are more funny lines in this episode than most sitcoms have in an entire season. When Will discovers the lesbians know about a purchase they’re trying to make, Karen (Megan Mullally) tells him, “They know everything, Will. Because they don’t sleep with men, their other senses are heightened.”

It was fun to see Falco play against type. She’s the mob boss of this relationship, as we see when Deirdre turns down Will’s offer of food with “we don’t eat” and Sevigny adds “She likes me frail.”

Great casting and great writing, with minimal stereotyping. More please!

8. Jennifer Aniston on Dirt (FX)

Episode 1.13 “Ita Missa Est” (2007)

The hype leading up to the series finale of this behind-the-tabloids drama was ridiculous, with every real-life newspaper, tabloid, and entertainment site touting the kiss between Jennifer Aniston and Courteney Cox in the season finale. The kiss inevitably turned out to be no big deal, but Aniston was excellent as Lucy’s lesbian rival tabloid editor and former occasional lover, Tina Herrod.

Confident, sophisticated, powerful and immoral, Tina coolly mixed business with pleasure in a way we usually only see male characters do on TV. As they catch up over lunch, Tina shows Lucy pictures of her partner and kids and admonishes her, “You have to trust somebody, sweetie, this is no way to live” – all while she’s secretly working against her (and casually hitting on her).

The series itself was as sleazy as its subject matter – and not very good – but Tina was refreshingly complex and appealing. If only they had revolved the series around her character, instead of Cox’s, more people might have tuned in.

7. Jamie Pressly on Fastlane (Fox)

Episode 1.11 “Strap On” (2003)

Before she joined My Name is Earl, Jaime Pressly’s Sara was seduced by Tiffani Thiessen’s undercover cop Billie on the short-lived crime drama Fastlane. Although Billie was initially only pretending to fall for Sara to capture her and her partner-in-crime in action, the women ended up developing geniune feelings for each other.

Unfortunately, Sara was sent off to prison, and Fastlane was subsequently canceled. But it was fun while it lasted!

6. Dana Delany on The L Word (Showtime)

Episode 3.4 “Light My Fire” (2006)

There are enough good guestbians on The L Word to fill up the entire list, but I chose Dana Delany (Desperate Housewives, China Beach) because her character was one of the few on the series who seemed like she could give Bette (Jennifer Beals) a serious run for her money.

Delany’s Senator Barbara Grisham tried to seduce Bette after witnessing her impassioned argument to her Senate committee against cutting funding for the arts.

The Senator invited Bette to a cocktail party after the hearing adjourned, and later offered her a ride back to her apartment to see her art collection.

When Bette asks her, “Do you always get people to do what you want them to?” she might as well have been talking about herself. Barbara didn’t get Bette, in the end (because Bette wouldn’t cheat on Tina again), but she definitely my attention. Too bad they didn’t revolve the L Word spinoff around her – who wouldn’t watch Lesbians in the House (and Senate)?

5. Tessa Tompson on Cold Case (CBS)

Episode 2.22 “Best Friends” (2005)

Technically this one shouldn’t really qualify, since this was Tessa Thompson’s first role (she went on to join the cast of Veronica Mars, and can currently be seen in Mississippi Damned), so she was hardly a high-profile actress then. But this is one of the best (and few) positive portrayals of a lesbian (especially a butch lesbian) on an American procedural crime drama, so I’m including it anyway.

In “Best Friends,” Thompson played a butch lesbian named Billie in the 1930s whose untimely death becomes the focus of an investigation years later. While another dead lesbian isn’t thrilling, Billie’s sexuality was handled sensitively and her character portrayed well.

Det. Lily Rush (Kathryn Morris) discovered that Billie died when she and her girlfriend Rose (played by Samantha Streets) intentionally drive off a bridge to escape Rose’s brother (who was trying to kill Billie) and to be “together forever.” But Rose accidentally survived and spent the rest of her life feeling guilty, because “I betrayed my girl. I lived.”

When Rose, now a great-grandmother, wondered aloud if her feelings for Billie were wrong, Lily told her, “No, not wrong. It was the wrong time.”

4. Winona Ryder on Friends (NBC)

Episode 7.20 “The One with Rachel’s Big Kiss” (2001)

Friends touched on lesbian and bisexual themes frequently during its ten seasons on the air, but this was one of its more inspired efforts.

Determined to prove to Phoebe (Lisa Kudrow) that she did something wild once, Rachel tries repeatedly to get her old college friend Melissa (Ryder) to admit that they kissed in college when they were drunk at a Hawaiian-themed party. Melissa denies it, then finally confesses to remembering it well – and to still carrying a torch for Rachel. Mistakenly thinking that Rachel has feelings for her, too, she unexpectedly kisses Rachel, then backtracks when she realizes she misunderstood. “I’m not in love with you,” Melissa declares, “I don’t hear coconuts banging together, I don’t picture your face when I make love to my boyfriend.” Then she jumps in a cab and speeds off.

The episode finished with Phoebe unexpectedly kissing Rachel, too, because “I wanted to see what all the fuss was about,” then renders the verdict, “I’ve had better.” Classic.

3. Mia Kirshner on 24 (Fox)

Several episodes beginning in 2001

Before playing the overly emotive Jenny on The L Word, Mia Kirshner played the decidedly un-emotive bisexual assassin Mandy on 24. Since she appeared in several episodes in the first season, then briefly in seasons two and four, that would technically make her a recurring character, but her role was small enough – and awesome enough – that I’m including it here anyway.

Mandy is notable for being one of 24’s few long-time antagonists to remain alive – they even put her character in the 24 video game.

A ruthless killer, the only visible emotion Mandy shows during her entire run on the series is when her accomplice/girlfriend is killed in the first season after unwisely extorting the wrong person. Mandy does reinforce the bisexual/killer stereotype, but this was in 2001, before that had become quite such a TV cliché.

This is the series that first made me realize what a good actress Kirshner is – she communicates more on this show in two minutes with just her eyes and her body language than she does in an entire episode full of dialogue on The L Word.

2. Stephanie March on 30 Rock (NBC)

Episode 1.3. “Blind Date” (2006)

Known for her much more serious role on Law & Order: SVU, Stephanie March delivered a hilariously low-key performance on 30 Rock as Liz Lemon’s (Tina Fey) lesbian blind date Gretchen Thomas, who works in plastics (so, she has a background in comedy).

The writing in the episode was top-notch, from jokes about bi-curious shoes to Oprah and Gayle. That and Fey and March’s easy camaraderie definitely left us wanting more, but Thomas hasn’t been back since. Our loss – and Lemon’s.

1. Emma Thompson on Ellen (ABC)

Episode 5.8 “Emma” (1997)

Laura Dern received a lot of attention for her role in the coming-out episode of Ellen DeGeneres‘s sitcom in 1997, and deservedly so. But the best guestbian on Ellen by far was Emma Thompson, playing herself as a closeted lesbian whom Ellen spies kissing another woman at a party.

Ellen becomes Emma Thompson’s personal assistant, and tries to convince her to come out publicly, until she learns the real truth about Emma – that she’s actually a lesbian from Ohio, not England. “I knew the only way I was going to get any classy roles was to pretend to be British,” she tells Ellen, because Hollywood might be OK with lesbians, but “there is no Dayton chic!”

Entertaining and educational – now that’s a great guestbian!

Discuss your favorite guestbians in the comments.

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