This time on Pretty Little Liars…
Aria agrees to some pre-wedding dance lessons after all, as we open with she and Ezra stepping it out. It’s more than apparent that Aria is in physical pain over the grunt work she’s doing for A.D., who calls after the dance lesson to give her another task. Finally, we find out that the file A.D. is hanging over Aria’s head is a police report she filled out years ago against Ezra but never filed. I just can’t get over Aria’s decision to throw her dignity away to keep her fiance out of jail. Aria, don’t you remember those words you wrote and the place they came from? But cool, throw the Liars under the bus instead.
Furey stops by Hanna’s house to interrogate her over the flood, but she and Caleb tag team to fend him off. In a last ditch effort for intimidation, Furey reveals that he’s already questioned her mother about Caleb’s involvement with the security system. Ashley Mirren returns to town just in time to begin panicking all over again over Hanna’s well being, but Caleb insists that she isn’t in any trouble. Where are the rest of the Wine Moms? I’ve missed them so much.
Also, a side note, Alison has slipped away to visit her brother Jason, and I never thought I’d say this but I miss the little brat in this episode. If she and Emily are going to be together, I might as well at least get to enjoy Ali’s snark.
Aria hides her shady A.D. task by masquerading as a helpful friend who brings dinner to the Hastings house, but in fact she leaves behind a speaking that begins blaring a recording of a phone conversation Mr. Hastings has with Mary Drake over the dead body buried in his backyard. A Hastings family meeting is held to contemplate who broke into their house, because apparently that’s what it takes for the three of them to be in the same room these days. Maybe Melissa will make an appearance sometime soon. I’m still cashing in on her being the mastermind of the whole operation.
Tension over Mona’s involvement with the game rise as she reveals to Emily that she’s discovered the name of the fertility doctor who performed Ali’s procedure. Mona and Emily masquerade as a lesbian couple looking for help conceiving to get in front of the doctor, who sends them away once he realizes their motivations. While in the doctor’s office, Mona snatches a fertility magazine with the good doc’s home address on it. When Mona initially proposed this idea, I got too excited, because the dynamic in this scene is uber disappointing. At least play the part Em, Mona needs practice being out with a woman so she can muster up the courage to make a play for Hanna before the wedding!
Paranoia gets the best of Aria, so she calls Spencer to check in, and the two have a superficial conversation of concern. After she hangs up, Ezra embarks on attempt number 14336776 on magically becoming a romantic, caring fiance for Aria, who shrugs in indifference. Instead of assuming something unrelated is wrong with Aria, he begins pleading with her to fully forgive him for exploiting her high school years for a book. Sometimes I forget exactly how many awful things this dude has done.
Furey stops Spencer in the middle of the street to remark on her personal involvement with Caleb and the implications, but she shuts him down like a badass. Unfortunately, that fearlessness dissipates when she gets back in her car and is overcome by her dearest biological mother. Mary Drake leads her to a shady hotel, where she reveals a flashback of a visit Mary made to the Hastings home. She pleads with Spencer to stay with her once her parents move, for a fresh start.
Ashley Mirren shows up at Hanna’s for a surprise visit and decides to persuade Caleb into making a pronouncement of his commitment to Hanna by asking to marry her. Obviously their future has always been a given, but I wish this speech had been prompted by something other than pressure from Mommy Dearest.
Suddenly, we come back from a commercial break to a full on black and white prison musical, featuring Aria in a veil and Ezra donning a jumpsuit and facing jailhouse abuse. This might be the most absurdly ridiculous thing I’ve ever seen on PLL, and that’s saying a lot. Once she wakes up from her jailhouse lullaby, Aria seems to finally realize how incredibly selfish she’s been in manipulating the lives of others for her own benefit. Just in time, A.D. texts to inform Aria that her reward for her heinous work is waiting for her in The Brew. I never how grateful I should be that PLL never cashed in on the musical episode trend.
The powerhouse pretend lesbians show up again to confront the good doctor with some personal mail, so they convince him to tell the girls the identification information he has.
Spencer arrives home to see her parents reading the letter from Mary Drake, and as she’s confronting her father for his involvement in Mrs. D’s death, he inadvertently reminds that that she’s more or less done the same thing with Archer. Spencer returns to the hotel to rekindle some mother daughter bonding with Mary Drake, but informs her that she needs to stay in Rosewood with her parents until everything is resolved.
Instead of being gifted with the police report she never filed, Aria discovers her gift is her own piece of the puzzle for the game. Armed with her new favorite piece of clothing, Aria snaps her piece of the puzzle in place and finally received her full prize. But it doesn’t look like the full set of documents she was expecting.
Apparently Hanna and Caleb are campers now, because Caleb finds it necessary to “stay off the grid”. While the two get cozy in a tent, they exchange cigar labels as rings in their own personal marriage ceremony. Oh Haleb, you are the best straight couple on this show.
Mona fends off an eager Emily from entering her apartment to go over some baby daddy evidence, and when she slips inside we find out why. Her office is plastered with A.D. material. A print out of the game board, mug shots, police files, maps, it’s a total Liars lair. We have three more episode left before the end game though, so is Mona involved or just obsessed? If it is Mona, at this point I almost don’t blame the poor girl.
See you next week, bitches.
