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“Pretty Little Liars” recap (7.7): Original G’Angsters

Hanna sneaks into Jenna’s room and goes hunting for the laptop. She finds a lock box under the bed and is busted by Caleb, who is working on hotel security. They hatch a plan to steal the lockbox key from Jenna by offering her a free hotel massage. Caleb tosses some rocks in the microwave and rubs them on her like a total Lucas, then steals her key and passes it off to Spencer and Hanna. Spanna opens the lock box and finds some files. Before they can go through the contents, the door opens, and they hide under the bed and watch Noel Kahn storm in. Noel takes Mary Drake’s Radley file (the one Emily gave to Toby) and tosses it in the box while on the phone complaining to a doctor that he’s running out of time.

I’m just saying that since we both fucked Caleb, by the transitive property we’ve had sex with each other

Jason and Aria have coffee, and while Jason flirts with her, she breaks the news of her engagement. Also, sometime during the hiatus, they definitely fucked. Jason asks Aria to help him break Ali free from Mary’s spell, and reveals that she and Elliot stole all the Carassimi group money, even from the non-profit in Ethiopia where Jason has been working. Jason tells Aria he hired a forensic accountant which is apparently A) a thing and B) clearly the next show in the CBS line-up. May I suggest calling it Death and Taxes starring Annabeth Gish?

Meanwhile, Emily’s grand birthday dinner plans for Pam hit a snag when the Radley bar is taken over by a rowdy queer bachelorette party. Emily reminds her mom that dad would have wanted them to celebrate life and have fun, so when the bachelorettes send them some pink drinks, Pam joins the party and starts making friends.

I told these girls I was Emily Fields’ mom and they started buying me drinks
I don’t know how to tell you this, but I’m kind of a big lesbian deal

Hanna and Caleb try to crack the code from the files in Jenna’s lock box, and Hanna finally tells him that she broke off her engagement. She talks about being adrift since her break-up with Caleb, and they share some long lingering hobosexy looks.

Jason joins Ali and Mary for another epically awkward DiLaurentis family dinner. Aria arrives to back up Jason, and everyone squabbles while Mary serves beef wellington. After Jason accuses Mary of stealing Jessica’s recipes/necklaces/face, Aria puts her hand on his hand to comfort him, and Ali notices their closeness. Mary tells Jason that she was there when Jessica forbid him from entering Aunt Carol’s house after his elevator accident (LOL remember that? Were we ever so young?)

Mary Drake looks like Jessica if she lived in the Upside Down
Read more at http://www.afterellen.com/tv/498533-pretty-little-liars-recap-7-7-original-gangsters/3#Xp0ErkqFEDwoKoX9.99
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