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“Pretty Little Liars” recap (7.7): Original G’Angsters

Spencer sees Toby at the Brew and asks him about Jenna. Toby reveals via flashback that he and Jenna tried to start over a few years ago. We see them sitting on the porch, watching fireworks (damn show, that’s cold), and Jenna tells Toby that she’s starting to forget what things looked like. Things like his face. Toby takes Jenna’s hands and places them on his face, which Jenna takes as a sign they are gonna make out. Boy, was she wrong. Spencer is shocked that Toby didn’t tell her about this earlier, but he reminds her that they were already broken up. Toby gets a call that someone broke into his trailer, and they rush to the hospital to find out that Yvonne was attacked.

I almost forget the feel of your smooth butt chin
Now let me remember what your face tastes like

Over at the DiLaurentis house, Ali and Mary Drake are painting over A.D.’s wall threat when they are interrupted by the return of Jason, who is sporting some serious hipster Jesus hair. Jason promptly tells Mary that he’s Ali’s new caretaker, and tells her to pack her shit and get out. Ali, who inexplicably trusts Mary now, begs Jason to give their estranged aunt a chance.

I’m here to take the wheel

Aria and Ezra are overwhelmed with wedding planning details, and Ezra suggests that they scrap the whole plan and elope to a villa in Tuscany. As someone currently planning their own wedding, I am infuriated that I agree with Ezra on this point. Take it from me folks: eloping is where it’s at.

A Tuscan wedding? Like this show has the budget for that.

Emily is serving drinks and rocking her sex suspender realness when a customer waves a $100 bill at her. It’s smirky mcsmirkface Noel Kahn, who tells her that he knew she’d never get out of Rosewood. Ems, take the money and run.

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