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L.A. Scene April ’09: “L Word” Finale Viewing, GenderPlay, Stand-Up, and Dinah

L.A. Scene is a monthly column that chronicles lesbian nightlife and events of interest in Los Angeles. Sarah Witness, an East Coast transplant and obvious femme, has been navigating the snark infested waters of Hollywood since 2001. Although she’s an NYU trained actress, she prefers sipping vodka and making idle chit-chat at really gay nightclubs.

FINAL EPISODE OF THE L WORD AT EAST WEST LOUNGE

In the olden days of The L Word, periodic screenings were held at a bar called Revolver in West Hollywood. The bar was icky and devoid of seats, but lesbians would gather in throngs to watch. It was always impossible to actually hear the show because the crowd was so wild, shrieking and squealing every time two women made out or Shane appeared on screen. The majority of the audience sported sensible shoes and unfortunate hair. Lesbians in West Hollywood watching a show about lesbians in West Hollywood, giddy with the long-sought after and wildy flattering representation.

A few years ago, Revolver was closed, gutted, and transformed into East West. All the lesbians flocked to Falcon on Sunset Blvd. to watch the show, frequently alongside the actual cast and crew. The Falcon night was unrivaled until January 09, when promoter Shannon K. started a competing viewing at East West, giving the lesbian crowd something we’re not used to: options!

I chose to watch the final episode at East West because I can walk there from my apartment, and that is pretty much the sole requirement for anyone who owns a Corolla with only standard features.

East West is located in the dead center of the uber gay and mostly boy-centric stretch of Santa Monica Blvd. The bar is large and upscale and the drinks are expensive and roughly the size of human heads.

If you are some sort of power lesbian or regularly sleep with them it’s possible to score one of the comfy V.I.P. booths which flank the main bar area. This is Hollywood after all, and it wouldn’t be a party without a glaring imbalance of power. Here you can eat your chicken satay behind a Plexiglas barrier that separates you from the lesbian riff-raff.

The place filled up quickly with the usual crowd: a handful of celesbians, a disproportionate number of superfemmes, slightly butch women who would be considered femme in any other city, and actual butches who probably spent just as much time in front of the mirror.

A sizeable number of straight girls and guys of all persuasions were in attendance as well, some of whom were clearly dragged there but many who seemed genuinely interested in the program.

Although the event was advertised as the “two-hour finale,” there was clearly some sort of silent unanimous decision to completely ignore the entire first hour, which featured endless sound bites from the global lesbian peanut gallery.

This gave everyone time to ingest enough alcohol to be able to stomach the atrocity that was the actual episode.

The audience response proved immensely more entertaining. When Max said he had felt the baby kick, someone said it was too bad the moustache hadn’t been knocked off. Bette revealing that she was “happy to be getting out of this little incestuous hotbed of lesbian interf@#$ing connectedness” encouraged cries of “take us with you!”

After the booing subsided, Shannon K. took the mic and explained that she didn’t actually create the show, she just tivoed it for the masses.

Everyone made a mad dash for the bar, the smoking area, and the frustrating unisex bathroom that features about 75 urinals and two stalls, this being boys town and all.

Then, back to real life and real conversations. The long-term couples talked about having babies and home additions with quirky bisexual girls who can never seem to make it last. Girls who moved out here with their boyfriends, so recently it seems, looked around wide-eyed. Those girls who seem to get whoever they want went back on the prowl.

Gossip regarding hook-ups and break-ups was intercut with talk of screenplays and deals. Everyone tried to avoid their inevitably present exes.

Fortunately, we all made it out alive.

GENDERPLAY THE EXHIBIT

West Hollywood lesbian culture typically revolves around hooking up and drinking excessively, so I had no idea what to expect when I was invited to an event that involved actually learning something of historical significance.

GenderPlay the Exhibit opened March 14th at the One Archives Gallery and Museum and was attended by over 400 people. After parking in another time zone, I finally made my way to the entrance where I was greeted by someone wielding a stack of post-it notes and pens. I was instructed to “label myself and go on in.”

Huh? I entered a sea of people, mostly female, aged newborn to elderly, all sporting post-its that stated their “label.”

“Boi/ Grrl/Andro/Queer/Futch” … you get the idea. Some opted to keep their labels, others stuck them onto the walls, incorporating their identities into the exhibit. Mine fell off. Not sure what that means.

Jenny Shimizu was both in attendance and featured in the exhibit. Famed photographer Catherine Opie was also there, and when a giant photo of Rachel Maddow was auctioned off she was the winner. Producer Jeanne Cordova quipped “one lesbian heroine wins another.”

The purpose of the exhibit is to provide a background in how gender issues have played out in lesbian history, and to challenge current stereotypes. It takes us from the civil war, where 400 women are believed to have dressed and fought as men, to Rachel Maddow, who Helen Boyd of myhusbandbetty.com says “introduced a new gender to television.”

“Passing” through the ages is explored – “passing” being defined as both women who pass as men, and lesbians who pass as straight. We learn the difference between “femme” and “lipstick” (femme is an inherent quality, and lipstick is wardrobe-specific).

The exhibit focuses mostly on stereotypes within the lesbian community, as opposed to the general public’s perception. For example, from World War II into the ’70s, there was a highly stylized butch/femme culture. Women who didn’t fit into one of those categories were called “kikis” and were deemed confused and literally banned from lesbian establishments. San Francisco in the early 80’s brought lipstick lesbianism into the spotlight and increased the spectrum of gender identity.

A collection of historic memorabilia is on display in the center of the exhibit, with informational posters lining the walls. A big-screen television plays a loop of genderplay clips from classic and contemporary movies. Photography plays a major role, with local and international artists highlighted.

GenderPlay the Exhibit runs through May 23rd at the One Archives Gallery & Museum which is located at 626 N. Robertson Blvd in West Hollywood (enter on El Tovar). GenderPlay at the Movies will feature specially selected films on Sunday, April 19 at the Macha Theater in West Hollywood (co-sponsored by OutFest).

DRUNK ON STAGE AT AKBAR

The best deal on gay and gay friendly comedy happens every Tuesday night at Akbar in Silverlake. For only $5 and no drink minimum you can see some of Los Angeles’s hottest comedians. Hosted by Bruce Daniels (former opener for Margaret Cho and star of Bam Bam and Celeste), and Erin Foley (Last Comic Standing and Comedy Central Presents), the show is a must-see.

On a recent Tuesday night, seven comics performed, five of who were women, a very unusual ratio in most comedy clubs. Bruce Daniels opened the show with the question “Anyone here have a Wii?”

After lots of cheering from the audience he proclaimed “Oh, I see we have lesbians here!”

Out gay comic Justin Martindale performed next, followed by Erin Foley who did a great bit about being tagged in albums on Facebook. “Hey, how about some pictures of me in my 20’s when I was trying to figure out if I was gay and I was overeating and overdrinking and had a pumpkin face. Yeah, dig those up and slap ’em online!” Oh Erin, you are not alone.

Comic and comedy teacher Cynthia Levin had a great set, followed by Shawn Pelofsky, an hysterical comedienne who has embraced her uncanny resemblance to Barbara Streisand. Comic and television producer Page Hurwitz talked about her friend’s desire to fix her up with geriatric women, which she resisted, instead going on a movie date with a younger woman only to have her tooth fall out a few scenes in.

Always funny Karen Kilgariff (comic and long-time head writer for Ellen), also brought up Facebook. She had printed out the list of people who had confirmed that they were coming to the event on Facebook and took attendance. Not a good idea to RSVP and then not show up if you don’t want to be publicly called out.

Bruce Daniels founded “Drunk on Stage at Akbar” two years ago when he got sick of performing at traditional comedy clubs. “Many clubs are very racist, homophobic, misogynistic… I wanted to find a safer place for my friends and me to perform.”

Akbar is just that. It provides a welcoming environment for gay, lesbian, and straight female performers in an intimate space. Comics know the room as a non-threatening environment where they can try new material. A few weeks ago, Margaret Cho did a set, a mix of older jokes and new songs. That’s right, you can see Margaret Cho for $5.

Past performers of note include Gina Yashere, Julie Brown, SNL alum Melanie Hutsell, The Office’s Kate Flannery, and Kathleen Madigan.

DINAH SHORE WEEKEND

Turns out, lesbians know how to party. I was a first-timer this year, or a “Dinah Virgin,” as many a tank top proclaimed.

I headed to Palm Springs on Friday with four friends. We were still a good hour away when we started playing “spot the lesbians” on the freeway, and by the time we were close, every third car was a Subaru Outback.

Ever since factions developed within the event a few years back, it has become necessary to pick a promoter. There are Sandy and Robin with Girlbar, Linda and Michelle with Fuse, and Mariah Hanson with Clubskirts.

I chose Clubskirts this year, the largest of the gatherings, and the one with the most promising entertainment options. The events were held at the Riviera Hotel and Spa and the Palm Springs Convention Center.

We checked into the Riviera around 2 p.m. and my first of many pool parties was already in full swing. We stood in line to buy drink tickets (no cash at the bars), and then headed out to the pool. At least a thousand mostly bikini-clad, mostly inebriated women danced or lounged by the pool while go-go dancers spun and slithered on platforms above.

Soon after, fires started raging in the hills nearby and the winds (the infamous Santa Anas?) picked up. No one was deterred and with ashes literally raining down on the pool, and into our margaritas, everyone kept the party hopping.

The first event of the night was a comedy show starring Margaret Cho. I was seated next to an older couple who, when glow sticks were passed out at the start, demanded to know just what it was they could do besides glow. Tough crowd. Jill Bennett and Elizabeth Keener were hilarious together as the show’s emcees. Dinah Virgins Jessica Kirson and Gina Yashere were huge hits. Both comics received standing ovations after their respective performances.

Seeking a break from the masses and from the Chuck E. Cheese-style drink ticket situation I headed off to Sidebar, a relatively relaxing lounge at the Riviera. Here I encountered a number of high-profile revelers taking shelter from the storm, namely Leisha Hailey, Elizabeth Keener, Liz Feldman, Nicol Paone, and the comics of the night Jessica Kirson and Gina Yashere.

Off to the White Diamonds Party at the Palm Springs Convention Center… Everyone wore white, a requirement that made virtually all individuals look ridiculous but the overall effect was rather stunning. Katy Perry performed and the crowd went wild. I wonder if young Katy envisioned herself performing in front of thousands of identically dressed lesbians when she wrote her fateful song.

The party went until about 2 a.m. and everyone jumped into complimentary shuttles or taxis and went back to the hotel. A number of people had stocked their rooms and we visited a few in-suite parties. Hopefully no one was trying to sleep, as the preferred way of organizing these gatherings was to scream invites from balcony to balcony.

I decided to call it a night when my hostess fell asleep in the bathtub around 4 a.m. With two full days ahead, I figured it was best not to peak too early.

I woke Saturday morning to the sound of women galloping toward the Cabana Girl Pool Party hosted by LOGO. The LOGO party went all day at the main pool while a number of events took place throughout the resort. The Dinah Idol competition was fierce as performers faced off in the blazing sun for a panel of celesbian judges.

The winner, Melange Lavonne was fantastic and brought me to tears with her song about being a gay-parent.

AfterEllen.com hosted a Rock Band Competition that drew a crowd and featured some of AfterEllen.com’s finest, including Dara Nai, Karman Kregloe, Jenn and Dee, and Nisha Ganatra. This coincided with Lube Wrestling in one of the courtyards, where very attractive women in bikini’s groped each other on a tarp covered in lube. Then there was a Go Go dancing competition by the pool hosted Bridget McManus, where attractive women in bikinis danced for the crowd.

Uh Huh Her performed a very mellow set at the secondary pool. Eventually, people went back to their rooms to get changed for the Hollywood Party.

The Hollywood Party also took place at the Palm Springs Convention Center. This was the one to get dressed-up for, and also the place to spot your favorite celesbians.

The red carpet was a mob-scene as dozens of celebrities posed for endless photos. Some of the women walking the red carpet were Jamie Lauren (Top Chef), Shawnee Hawkins (Dr. Phil), Alicia Leigh Willis (L Word), Chutney Popcorn director Nisha Ganatra, Ashleigh Sumner (Then Came Lola), Cat Davis (Cat on the Prowl), Suzanne Westenhoefer, and Katy Perry.

Unlike actual Hollywood parties where celebrities walk the red carpet then disappear, these women gamely mingled with the rest of us all night.

The night featured a celebrity fashion show with most of the aforementioned celebrities strutting their stuff on stage. Lady Gaga took the stage and was phenomenal. Clearly we are gaining street cred if someone performs on American Idol and then at Dinah three days later!

Sunday’s all-day pool party was hosted by She Wired and Here! TV. Celebrity dodgeball took place in the courtyard, hosted by Sirius Radio’s Doria Biddle. There was a Wet Tee-Shirt contest, a concert by God-des and She, and a game of Twister. The hottest lesbian in the nation contest drew huge crowds, with Madison Eker winning the title.

There were several camera crews at the event, including one for a documentary called Out in the Desert, which followed 16 women from all over the world, and from very different backgrounds, who made the trip to Dinah. The film will also feature celebrity interviews, plenty of Dinah footage, and, I hope, lots of glow sticks.

On Sunday I asked a number of women to sum up their experiences at Dinah. All were glad they came, with responses ranging from “it was a blast” to “it was absolutely life changing.” Living in Los Angeles it’s easy to forget that not everyone has access to a welcoming community and Dinah is a rare opportunity to be “out.”

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