“The Fosters” (3.18) recap “Can you feel me now?”


I had short hair from when I was about three years old until I went to high school. I thought if I had long hair in high school no one would be able to tell that I was gay. I thought it would stop people asking me if I was a boy or a girl (as they had all during middle school). I thought it would stop the cruelty, the whispers, the conjecture about both my sex and my sexuality. It stopped people from telling me I was in the wrong bathroom. It stopped people asking what “it” was. They could see I was a girl, and that was good for a while.

In college, I came out, and I cut my hair. I thought I was so proud of who I was and so okay with being gay. I was and I wasn’t. So I grew it again.. I grew it into long, blond curls. About three years ago, I decided I wanted it short again. Sure, people would think I was a dyke, but I was finally okay with that assumption. I love having short hair. I love the way it looks and feels. But it took until I was about 32 to like the way it looked, the way it made me feel, and to truly be able to throw off the shit that comes with being a short haired lesbian. That’s a long time. A long time to be able to look in the mirror and think I look good and feel sexy. So I felt Stef in this scene. I am her in so many ways. I know what that voice sounds like in your head telling you that you have to follow some stupid set of rules to be a woman. That voice is an asshole.

One more thing, how refreshing to have conversations on a television show about two women who not only love each other but desire each other. They may not have a minute’s peace to actually have sex but here, on our screens, are a pair of moms who want each other. Women don’t stop wanting to have sex just because they are moms. It’s nice to see that reality on screen. I’ve said it a hundred times before but we are lucky to have these actresses, and their blistering chemistry, in these roles.

Anyway, they run upstairs to have sex and Mariana is at the warehouse looking for something she left behind. Gabe’s there working. She invites him to opening night. He doesn’t want anyone to be uncomfortable by being there. The cops show up, just when Gabe starts telling Mariana that maybe she got her singing voice from his mom.  The alarm got triggered, and they want to see some ID. They cart Gabe off in handcuffs for being around a minor.

Next week: Brandon channels his inner Adam Lambert and wears all the eyeliner!

Here are a few of our favorite #GaydyBunch tweets from last night’s episode.


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