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“Jane the Virgin” recap (2.13): Synchronicity

Previously on Jane the Virgin, Xiomara and Rogelio called is off because Xio doesn’t want any more rugrats, Petra and Jane had a come to Jesus moment, Michael professed his love for Jane BECAUSE Rose is dead. Dead. I still don’t believe it. What will become of our beloved Luisa?

Now that Michael and Jane are able to finally reunite (which I am totes rooting for), they stay up all night talking and making out. If my heart weren’t so heavy about Rose, I’d be cheering right now.

Of course, there’s the little issue of Rafael, who isn’t going to be thrilled about this reunion. Michael is ready to apologize for the whole punching him thing, but Jane wants to tell him first. Sounds mature. Also mature? Xio and Abuela adorably watching Jane and Michael from the window. Guess that secret it out. Abuela is so Team Michael.

Rogelio and Xiomara may have broken up a mere day before, but they are trying to be super lesbian about it and be friends right away. Thankfully, there are no cat custody issues to deal with. Rogelio has a new assistant named Paola, who he thinks is the bee’s knees. Obviously, she’s going to turn out to be psychotic.

Things at the Marbella are not going so well. Someone made a fake video showing the hotel as a murder destination and whoever did it is a wiz with SEO. Petra, who is more pregnant than anyone has ever been on the planet, is hella pissed and not dealing with Rafael’s chill attitude about the whole thing. Petra is obsessed with preparing, and Rafael kindly mansplains that she’s nesting. Petra’s reaction is all of ours.

While school on break, Jane returns to wait tables at the Marbella, and we are blessed with a guest appearance by Lena, who gives Jane the scoop on all the changes since she’s been gone. It’s all fun and games until their manager Scott (Rafael’s old assistant who spilled the beans about the Solanos to his duplicitous “journalist” boyfriend Wesley) comes over and accuses Lena of stealing liquor. Lena fires back and Scott retreats for the time being. Jane agrees to help Lena, who like any smart millennial, brings her own booze to work.

Ok, so let’s deal with some lesbian drama, shall we? Luisa helped nurse Barnett after being shot by Rose, her ex-girlfriend who is now DEAD. (Damn it all to hell!) Luisa, shattered by Rose’s death, has broken her sobriety and is now also nursing a bottle of vodka.

Jane tries to break the news about her reunion with Michael, but needless to say, Rafael doesn’t take it well. Jane reminds him of what she’s put up with from Petra for the sake of their family, and they angrily agree to all have lunch. I love a good angry lunch.

When Barnett returns to work, Michael is surprised to see her so soon after being shot. Barnett is determined to find Elena now since her family’s wellbeing was threatened. Feeling that she can now trust her partner, Barnett reveals that she was originally sent by Internal Affairs to investigate him. Now that she’s experienced Rose and Elena’s threats first hand, she understands how Michael could have gotten caught up in them too.

Brokenhearted over Jane’s reveal about Michael, Rafael’s having a tough time getting his head in the game. He confides in Petra about Jane and Michael and Petra herself doesn’t exactly know how to feel.

Rogelio is loving his new assistant, Paola, who is waaaaay too good to be true. He joins the Villanuevas for a family dinner, and Abuela and Jane can’t help but notice it feels a lot like he and Xio didn’t really break up. Jane heads off to work to help Lena catch the actual booze thief, and sadly, they find Luisa rooting around behind the bar. Gah, my heart.

Jane and Lena gently confront Luisa about the alcohol, and faced with the reality of the situation, Luisa puts the bottle down. She asks Jane not to tell Rafael about her slip, so she can tell him herself. Lena of course, wants her name cleared, which Luisa promises to do.

While Paola helps Rogelio get ready for his Braveheart-like scene in Tiago, complete with kilt and purple warpaint, he notices his special undies are folded the wrong way. Paola plants the idea that he has a stalker now, which kind of delights Rogelio. Yes, Paola, I agree with you. Rogelio probably does have a stalker. Paola.

Jane and Michael play with Mateo while they discuss their upcoming lunch with Rafael. Jane tells him that loving looks, goofy faces and inside jokes are off the table in order to be sensitive to Rafael. This is really sweet actually, and will probably achieve the opposite effect they were hoping for. Order the Cobb Salad, Michael. There’s a lot in there to keep you busy while Rafael shoots fire through his eyes at you.

Yep, Michael’s sincere and Jane-approved apology goes over like a lead balloon with Rafael, who storms off.

Now for the moment we’ve all been waiting for the entire episode: Jane tells Rogelio about getting back together with Michael. Jane makes him promise to stay calm, but in his shipper heart, he’s jumping for joy.

Jane confesses that she is worried it won’t work out with Michael because of Rafael and Mateo, but Rogelio reminds her that true love is worth fighting for. Kind of like the true love he has with Xiomara. Damnit. Rogelio holds a candle, but he misguidedly thinks that Xio might change her mind about having kids. Their conversation is interrupted by a call from security about Rogelio’s undies. An extra was caught with them in her possession by Paola. But who’s the real panty sniffer? You guessed it: Paola.

Rafael joins an angry Jane for Mateo’s swim lesson, but for a moment, the frustration is stripped away when they bond over their child. However, the reality of Jane loving someone else doesn’t take long to slip back into Rafael’s heart. Afterwards, he tells Jane that because of Michael’s job, the danger is never really gone.

Back at the house, Xio helps Rogelio with his lines, but what is practice quickly turns into reality as they give in to their true feelings for one another. Afterwards, Jane comes home early, and Rogelio has to sneak out of the house. Jane catches him though and smiles.

Jane confronts Xio about it, but Xio swears that all exes have sex after their breakup (I did not receive this memo) but Jane wouldn’t know this because Virgin. Jane then tells her mother about Rogelio’s hopes that she’ll change her mind about babies. Welp, no more breakup sex for those two.

Rafael and Petra are watching the synchronized swimmers they hired for the new Marbella commercial when Petra lets her frustration boil over. She is worried that Rafael will always put Jane and Mateo ahead of her and the twins. Bold words from a woman who stole Rafael’s sperm and secretly impregnated herself. Rafael assures her that he will be there.

Instead of clearing things up about the missing bottles, Luisa gets the busboy that Lena is shagging to replace them. Scott catches him and fires him on the spot. Jane calls Luisa to find out what the hell is going on and finds a very drunk Luisa at the bar.

Jane sits down with Luisa, who is all kinds of messed up on alcohol and grief. Luisa asks Jane if she can call her sponsor before she tells Rafael, but Luisa actually calls Barnett.

Xio has to break up with Rogelio all over again, and I don’t know how much my heart can take. She remains firm on her choice not to have kids.

Over in Jane’s room, she and Michael are tucked in and texting each other about the day’s events. When Jane tells him that Rafael thinks his job is too dangerous, he offers to quit. He’s going to chose Jane any day over his job. It’s kind of reckless, but also super romantic. I can’t with these two crazy kids!

While Jane attends Rogelio’s premiere in Xio’s place, Xio gets some delivery food and Downton to ease her wounded heart. Of course, it does nothing but make her think of doing the same thing with Rogelio. Jane runs back in to find her Xio crying about her lost love and Lady Cybil.

In the limo, Rogelio and Paola wait for Jane, while Paola gets intel on Rogelio’s stalker preparedness, so she can you know, better stalk him. Because Jane is running late dealing with Xio, Paola uses the opportunity to plant seeds of doubt in Rogelio’s perfectly coiffed head.

Luisa opens up to Barnett about her feelings, because lesbian, but also they are starting to become really close. Luisa feels all alone, but she’s not. Barnett tells her that she needs to head back into rehab, and when she gets out, they can start a real relationship. It’s a little soon Barnett-I mean Rose’s body isn’t even cold-but I’m going to go with it. Also, whenever someone gets sent off to rehab on a TV show, that means we don’t see them for a while. I hope that’s not the case with Luisa.

When Jane catches up with Rogelio after the premiere, he is not his usual affable self. He feels that Jane chose his mother’s feelings over his, and she kind of did. In a very uncharacteristic move for Rogelio, he tells Jane he needs some space.

After sending Rogelio an emoji-laden apology email, Jane heads over to Rafael’s to talk about Michael. She’s bluntly honest with him, and Rafael admits he’s scared that Michael will replace him in their little family. She assures him that is not possible, and he agrees to try to get along with Michael.

An emotional Rafael heads over to Petra’s suite to tell her how completely dedicated he will be to their daughters. Petra knows something is up, but Rafael keeps going and even tries to kiss her. Petra is no fool and knows something happened with Jane. Even as much as she wants this life with Rafael, this isn’t the way she wants it. Rafael slinks off to the bar and meets a woman to hook up with while Jane and Michael meet up at the hotel pool. I’m a sucker for pool scenes. Maybe it’s the way the light bounces. Jane has an epic fantasy sequence where she and Michael are joined by the synchronized swim team in an Esther Williams-esque kiss scene.

When a dejected Rogelio returns home, he finds Paola waiting in the dark for him. There’s no escape from Rogelio’s place now, and Paola reveals her true identity: Lola, the prison pen-pal.

What did you think of “Chapter Thirty-Five?”

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