Lena Waithe shares advice on love, sex and being proud to be black and gay


Master of None star Lena Waithe shares a beautiful letter to her younger self in this LoveMe video from Refinery29. What starts out a little sad (“Seeing as how you find beautiful women very irresistible, you are in for a world of trouble, love, hurt and pain), ends up being a story of triumph, as the out actress/writer can assure young Lena that the kind of love she’s looking for will be eventually found.


Lena also talked with the site about why it’s important to have self-love as a black gay woman.

“A big issue within the LGBT community is embracing oneself and not being ashamed. Especially among people of color, you still get those people who aren’t very open and who don’t want everybody to know,” Lena said. “Within the Hollywood industry, you still have a lot of [Black] people who aren’t openly gay. If you think of it, in terms of how many people there are in Black Hollywood, the numbers just don’t add up. There are way too few people who are out. It’s like that hashtag that’s going around, #oscarssowhite; I’d say #blackhollywoodsostraight.”

She also shares the story of meeting her now partner (that dream woman she talks about in her video), Alana Mayo, who was straight-identified before meeting Lena, and how other people discuss her sexuality:

“People will ask my girlfriend, ‘Alana, are you gay? Are you straight?’ For a second, she was trying to figure out, ‘Am I a lesbian?’ I was like, ‘No, I don’t think you should call yourself that, because a lesbian means you were born gay. I’m a lesbian.’ Then, she was like, ‘Am I bisexual?’ And I’m like, ‘Maybe?’ She was like, ‘You know what? I’m not going to label it. I’m just going to be myself.’ I think it’s interesting that we can say, ‘Look, sexuality is fluid and love is where you find it.’

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And there’s also some sex advice, which should prove helpful before Valentine’s Day.

“…as uncomfortable as it is, talk about what you like and what you’re not a fan of. I always do this after sex, and my girlfriend’s always like, ‘Why do we have to have SportsCenter right after sex?’ I think it’s really good to talk about it, be comfortable, and makes jokes, so that neither of you is afraid or feels like you aren’t in a place to say what you want or voice an opinion.”

Visit Refinery29 to read the full interview and make sure to follow Lena on Twitter and Instagram if you don’t already.

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