Best. Lesbian. Week. Ever. (March 13, 2009)



Jack: Let’s cut the lesbian scene.

Jenna: But the Oscars love that kind of thing!

— “The Funcooker” episode of 30 Rock (NBC)


Note: There are no spoilers about future episodes, just updates on what has already aired, but click here if you want to skip these updates and go directly to the next page.

Show/Episode: Guiding Light — CBS, drama

What happened: Olivia overhears Frank proposing to Natalia, and promptly goes to a gay bar, where she babbles to the bartend ar about how she isn’t gay, but she’s attracted to another woman who’s “religious.” The bartender tells her to “walk away — she’s gonna break your heart.” Olivia starts to storm out of the bar, and promptly runs into…Doris! The town mayor who publicly “outed” Olivia and Natalia’s alternative living arrangement on local television. She defends her hypocrisy to Olivia by saying staying closeted is necessary for her political career, because “Nobody wants to be different, people are afraid of different.” Back home, Natalia frets to Olivia over whether to marry Frank even though she doesn’t really want to, and wonders what God wants for her, asking, “Am I supposed to be alone for the rest of my life? Or maybe God has someone for me and it’s just not who I expected?” After talking things over more, Olivia encourages Natalia to marry Frank “if you think Frank has everything you need.” But neither woman looks happy at that prospect.

What else you need to know: The Advocate published an in-depth, spoilery interview with the actresses this week that hints at good things to come.

Show/Episode: Los Hombres de Paco — Spain, drama

What happened: Pepa returns after a week of absence and Silvia tells her that there is no reason to be awkward and they should be friends. A surprised Pepa says fine but then tries to make Silvia jealous by telling Silvia she’s having an affair with a guy from the Police Station whose name she doesn’t want to give. And she tells Silvia she’s pregnant. Then Pepa flirts with their (male) colleagues, and kisses another one in front of Silvia. Finally, Silvia tells Pepa she has figured out who the guy is, and that she doesn’t think Pepa’s relationship with him is a good idea. Pepa calls her out on this, saying that if they are really just friends, Silvia would be happy for her.

Finally, Pepa tells her that she will either be her girlfriend, or nothing at all, and then tells her, “by the way, I’m not pregnant; I would only have a child with you” and walks away. Silvia looks moved.

Thanks to: Maria and Ines!

Show/Episode: Grey’s Anatomy — ABC, drama

What happened: In the last few minutes of the episode, Arizona apologizes to Callie in the elevator for turning her down last week, and asks her out to dinner. Callie tells her she’s very busy and she’ll have to check her schedule, walks out of the elevator leaving a confused Arizona, then comes back at the last minute and asks Arizona “How about tomorrow?” The elevator door closes with both women smiling.

What else you need to know: out filmmaker Donna Deitch (Desert Hearts) directed this episode.

Show/Episode: Hospital Central — Spain, drama

What happened: The series returned for its 17th season last week with Maca at Esther’s house trying to win her back, but Esther’s having none of it. This week, Maca’s former lover Vero leaves the hospital for a new job somewhere else, and tries to convince Maca to come with her, but Maca says no because she’s still in love with Esther. Vero wishes them both well.

Thanks to: Jennifer and Marcela

Show/Episode: Skins — U.K, teen drama

What happened: Not much, just a small scene of Emily and Naomi “wriggling.”

What else you need to know: Skins has been renewed for a fourth season.

Show/Episode: Hollyoaks — U.K, drama

What happened: Out lesbian Lydia shows up, becomes friends with Sarah, and gets punched by Amy (who doesn’t realize Lydia is gay and thinks she’s flirting with her husband).

Then Lydia hangs out with Sarah at a club, where she gets hit on by one of the guys, and promptly throws a drink in his face. (Lydia is clearly not having a very good week.)

Show/Episode: All My Children — ABC, drama

What happened: Kendall finally realizes Reese doesn’t have bad intentions re: Zach or Bianca. She tells Zach to help Reese — who is upset at being blind, and lashing out at everyone — and then Kendall calls Bianca in France and tells she should come back to Pine Valley to help Reese.

Show/Episode: Make Me a Supermodel — Bravo, reality competition

What happened: Everyone posed as candy; bisexual-model-with-a-bad-attitude CJ barely escaped elimination — again; Tabatha Coffey showed up to give everyone a makeover..

What else you need to know: read Dara’s mini-recaps of the show here.

Show/Episode: Plus Belle La Vie — France, drama

What happened: After many discussions, Virginie agrees have a baby with Céline (Céline suggests they both get pregnant, but Virginie thinks it’s better to have just one child). They ask to their gay friend Thomas to become their child’s father by insemination, but Thomas doesn’t want to do it. The two women look for a donor on the internet. But Thomas’ father convinces Thomas to change his mind, and he goes to Céline and Virginie’s home to tell them he wants to be the father. They’re excited and ask him if he’s absolutely sure, and he says yes.

Thanks to: Dominique

Show: Verbotene Liebe (Forbidden Love) — Germany, drama

What happened: Carla invites Stella to go horseback riding with her. Stella forgets all about their date when Charlie drops by her new apartment to help her unpack. To make it up to Carla, Stella takes her out to a club. At the end of the night they share a kiss, complete with tongues, slow-motion and violins on the soundtrack.

What else you need to know: There were a lot of conflicting signals on this week’s episodes. Stella and Charlie bond over a stack of records, as did Carla and Hannah way back when, and later Stella and Carla pretend to be a couple to get rid of an annoying man at the club, just like Carla and Hannah did before they got together.

Thanks to: Annelies

Show/Episode: The L Word — Showtime, drama

What happened: Nothing. OK, technically it was the finale of the whole series, but seriously — nothing.

What else you need to know: Read Scribegrrrl’s recap, and StuntDouble’s Facebook recap.

That wraps up this week’s rundown of lesbian/bi women on TV — international readers, please email me at [email protected] short rundowns of the lesbian/bi storylines on your favorite shows on Thursdays. Thanks!

— by Sarah Warn

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