“Lost Girl” recap (5.16): Fae-thee-well

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Bo tells her pops if they’re going to go steady with this evil business she wants to get rid of Plan B. That’s kind of ironic, given that to do that she’ll have to get rid of Tamsin and her unborn Damian baby. But Bo says she wants to do the honors, you know, because when has Bo ever passed on the chance to suck a little face? Tamsin tries to reason with her, but Bo gets her chi on anyway. Or so it seems.

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So the gang is now driving around Toronto in Vex’s tricked-out Disco RV. Yes, I know, it’s one of the great tragedies of Lost Girl that the show didn’t expose us to Vex’s tricked-out Disco RV until the very last episode. Besides condoms, mascara, heels, and glitter, the RV also houses Vex’s extensive teacup collection.

When they get judgey, he reminds them he isn’t just a sexually ambiguous secondary character who says quippy things while wearing Louboutins. He also has a full, rich backstory we all wish we knew more about. Too bad there’s not enough time left for him to use his now totally healed vocal chords to tell us. That Dr. Lewis truly is a miracle worker.

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Hades shows Bo the big Pyrippus lawn ornament he had made in her honor. When she comments on its fiery breath, Daddy Darkest corrects her that those aren’t flames coming from its mouth. Instead they’re lines of multiple chi. Still no explanation on the wings, but I’m going to assume artistic license.

So his evil scheme is to have Bo feed off the colony, then the continent and finally the world. You know, your standard end-of-days scenario. Apocalypse, we’ve all been there. But Bo, she walked right into it. Because pops knew all along she was trying to play him. And he let her to get her where he wants her.

Hey, remember the Hell Shoes? They’re back, except now they look like death metal boots instead of burlap ballerina slippers. Hades reminds her that he rules Hell and they serve him and, duh, he is evil. So now she is trapped in them. Not to be a Monday morning quarterback here, but I told you to perhaps try to think of an actual plan this time out instead of just forging blindly ahead… Oh, never mind. One last time for old time’s sake, eh?

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Hades says she’ll stay there until she finishes her supper. Oh, now you try to bring out the parental side. Bo says she won’t feed and he can’t make her. But, oh that devil, he is tricky. Also he watched a lot of Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 5. Because he won’t stop going on about how death is her gift.

Bo tries to resist, but he keeps reminding her of those she has lost: her first boyfriend, Hale, Rainer, Aife, Trick. Ha, I love how, even to the bitter end, they’re still pretending anyone cared even one iota about what happened to Rainer. But then Papa Hades goes in for the real kill and reels off Bo’s supposedly failed or abandoned relationships: Kenzi, Tamsin, Dyson, Lauren. And mentioning how Lauren broke up with her twice? Low blow, dude. Low blow.

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Look, I know Bo’s loved ones are her sensitive spot and all, but really? All it took for her to break was some trash talk about her friends? We couldn’t at least pretend some other supernatural mojo was at work–like those kicky Hell Boots or Dad’s glowy hand–that broke her spirit? I refuse to believe the woman I’ve seen fight and get knocked down and get back up and fight some more for five seasons was undone by some snide whispering in her ear.

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