“Jane the Virgin” recap (2.3): I will sleep with your wife!

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Previously on Jane the Virgin, Luisa got nabbed, Petra got knocked up and Jane had two men vying for her attention.

Now that Jane has professed her love for both Michael and Rafael, it’s time to get ready for Mateo’s baptism. Mateo will be wearing the baptismal gown passed down from generations, back from when Abuela first move to the States with her true love, Mateo Sr. When it comes to the godparents, it’s going to be Jane’s friend Lena and, gulp, Michael. See, Rafael asked him to do that honor the night Michael rescued Mateo. Now things might be different for Rafael, but they aren’t for Jane. She can’t imagine anyone else but Michael for the honor.

Meanwhile, Rafael is in a less happy place, getting confirmation from his doctor that Petra is indeed pregnant. Jane calls at the worst time and Rafael doesn’t even pay attention when she confirms Michael as godfather. Can’t blame the guy, he’s kind of getting the worst news. Petra will now be connected to him for life, and he didn’t even have a say in it. He admits that he’s been so nice to Petra lately so he could buy her out and be done with that chapter in his life. Sorry, Petra, but your sympathy meter has just run out.

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While Jane is busy trying to get Mateo to blink at her during Mommy and Me, Rogelio is two hours into his accidental Cuba vacation slide show. We are all mercifully spared when he gets a call from the Passion of Santos team, and since he’s the Executive Producer now, he needs to jet. It’s “Make Love Week” for telenovelas, which is like sweeps week, with probably the same amount of ratings boosting lesbian kissing. Or at least we can hope.

On his way out, Rogelio bumps into Michael who stopped by to apologize to Jane for asking her to choose. Rogelio tells him to play it cool because he thinks that Jane liked this new, more assertive Michael. He then gives Michael a journal to write down his thoughts in and this bromance is quickly become one of the best things about JtV.

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Just then, Jane and Mateo show up and instead of the apology he was planning, Michael just updates her on the Sin Rosetro case. They are getting the visitor logs from the Swiss winery to see if they can match it up with Rose’s handwriting. The fellas leave and Jane gets a letter letting her know she’s been accepted to grad school so she and Mateo do a happy dance. Adorable!!!

She tells Rafael about grad school and how she thinks she can pull it off, but he’s preoccupied with you know, Petra’s crazy pants pregnancy. Jane asks about Luisa but Rafael hasn’t heard from her in a while. Because she’s in a cell. Tied up. KIDNAPPED! Or, should I say, LESBIANAPPED!

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Rafael assumes Luisa just ran off to somewhere for a bit, so he’s not the least bit concerned. He kind of freaks when he sees Michael at the church, and admits that he wasn’t paying attention to Jane’s call because of the Petra situation. Jane is not pleased. Looks like their plan to trick Petra into thinking Rafael still had feelings for her backfired. Michael can sense something is wrong, but Rogelio’s voice plays in his head and he decides not to be the sensitive guy he’s hard wired to be.

When Jane tells Xiomora and Abuela about Petra’s insemination, they are pretty grossed out.

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Yes, ladies, Petra is the worst but a lot of gaybies have been successfully conceived via turkey baster so don’t judge too harshly. Jane gets a call letting her know she needs to have a World Lit credit in order to enter the grad program. The class starts the next day, but Jane can’t imagine leaving Mateo for class. That’s when Xiomora steps in and the ladies decide they will find a way to make it work. Jane is going to have it all, dammit!