“Lost Girl” recap (5.15): My little pony plays with fire

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Previously on Lost Girl: Bo went over the rainbow. There she met lions and stoners and Tin Tamsin, oh my. But Vex met with the sharp end of the wicked Hades.

Right, so, not to be rude, but we’ve only got two episodes left here. Whatever is supposed to happen better happen soon, or we’re out of time. So bring on the fire-breathing hell horse. Summon in the armies of darkness. Heck, send in the clowns. Something, anything. No time like the present and all–tick tock.

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Wait, wait–I didn’t say burn everything to the ground, Bo. Granted, I’ll take this inferno over the agonizingly slow burn of the story arc this season–but it would be better if Lauren, Kenzi and Dyson weren’t trapped in it. Oh, Mark is also there? Gosh, bummer. What? We can’t expect everyone to survive.

Flash backward 24 hours and Kenzi is burning toast or something similarly flammable in the kitchen in the Suck Shack. This sets off the fire alarm, which she smashes with a broom handle. While I appreciate the “danger” foreshadowing here, I doubt having a working smoke detector will save our crew.

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Bo is of like mind–not about household safety equipment, but about keeping her friends safe. She tells Kenzi she doesn’t have to stick around. Whoa, whoa–speak for yourself, lady. Our little K-Star better be in this until the end, especially now that she has begun streaking her hair again like the old days.

Our heroine is trying to come up with a plan. Aw, that’s cute. But why start now? Five seasons of totally plan-less forging ahead into danger has been going so well for the last five seasons. Bo knows whatever the plan is it will involve the Pyrippus, and Kenzi promises to help her find it. Goodness, I missed these two together so much. The show needs them, it really does.

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Kenz leaves our beautiful bestie moment to go check up on Tamsin. Um, has no one checked on her all night? Did no one think it was odd she didn’t say goodnight? And has no one wondered where Vex has wandered off to as well? Do Canadians not say goodbye at the end of friendly gatherings? I don’t understand your customs. Do you just leave a bottle of maple syrup on the doorstep and disappear?

Instead they find Vex on the floor and no Tamsin upstairs. Yep, Hades has taken her. Rape, forced pregnancy AND kidnapping? Have the writers been reading my wish list for things I wanted to happen in the final season? *audible groan*

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Our poor Valkyrie is locked in a cage, just like Aife, in a room that is already fitted with a fully decked out baby crib. Someone got a little ahead of himself while browsing the Pottery Barn Kids website. Jack the Rapist arrives filled with unwanted pregnancy advise. It all makes Tamsin want to throw up. So say we all.