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“Once Upon A Time” recap (5.02): Hell hath no Fury

Previously on Once Upon A Time, Emma became the Dark One, and spent a day wandering around the Enchanted Forest trying not to succumb to the Rumple-shaped voice in her head while chasing Merida, Team Charming showed up and talked Emma down, Emma gave Regina the Dark One dagger because she was the only one she trusted with it, and King Arthur brought everyone to Camelot for six weeks so fun that they all forget what happened when they land back in Storybrooke, Regina without the dagger and Emma more evil than ever.

We open with the dwarves, since they just DEMANDED more storyline this season, driving to the town line with the Sneezy Statue strapped to the roof. They want to know what this new curse does, so they vote that Dopey is the one to cross. Before they can shove him over the line, David, Mary Margaret and Regina zip in and try to stop them. Grumpy points out that Emma is the most unbeatable villain they’ve faced, since Emma’s always the one beating the villains and all. He says, who’s gonna save them from this new evil, Regina? Regina makes a face that says, “Well not with that attitude I won’t,” but lets Grumpy go on with making the quietest among them a guinea pig. Dopey crosses the line and at first everything’s fine…but then he turns into a tree. Regina is actually a little impressed-she didn’t think there was a curse she hadn’t seen (or made).

Flash back to six weeks ago, when King Arthur welcomes Team Charming to his court and introduces them to his wife, Guinevere, who gives me a bit of a secret-evil vibe, but maybe that’s just me and my trust issues. Everyone bows to her and they announce they have prepared a ball for their new friends. Zelena hisses to Regina that she wants to be uncuffed, but Regina silences her and says she’ll be her mute handmaiden if she doesn’t want to get locked in Granny’s freezer.

On Charming’s behest, Arthur leads the Team to Merlin…who is currently a tree in the backyard. Arthur asks why they’re so eager for Merlin to help them, and Charming says the Dark One is threatening their home. Arthur says the prophecy told of a Savior, and asks who that might be. Emma steps forward but Regina secretly silences her with the dagger and steps forward and claims the position herself. She says they just want to save Merlin and stop the Dark One so they can all go home, and when she says “home” she looks right into Emma’s eyes and she doesn’t mean Storybrooke when she says “home,” she means Emma, good and light again.

Present-day Hook wants to know why Belle’s kiss didn’t save Rumple, and she tells him that the whole True Love’s Kiss thing isn’t an exactly science or a cure-all, it only works when the writers can’t think of any other way out of a mess they’ve gotten themselves into. She also points out that a curse isn’t a curse anymore once the inflicted wants it, meaning there might not be a curse to break when it comes to Emma and her hair powder.

Out on the pier, Henry calls Emma by calling her name three times and even though she appears like Bloody Mary in the mirror, she tells him not to be scared. Henry apologizes for failing her, but she insists it’s everyone else’s fault.

Regina steps in and asks why Emma erased their memories. When she doesn’t get an answer she says it doesn’t matter, she’ll get them back. Emma says they’ll never break this curse, because she learned from Regina (!) and they can’t break it without a Savior. Henry thinks Regina could be the Savior they need, but Emma pretends like she knows Regina doesn’t have it in her. She says it because she knows it will cut Regina deep, hearing that Emma, the one who is usually on her side, doesn’t believe in her. Emma says there’s a problem coming to Storybrooke that only a Savior can solve and taunts her further by saying it’s too bad they don’t have one anymore.

Knights gallop into Storybrooke, and it’s King Arthur and his men, lost and confused. Team Charming explains what happened and how they lied about the Dark One and how technically they told half truths because they did want to defeat the darkness in the Dark One. But they’ll deal with that later; right now, there are subjects of King Arthur’s Kingdom wandering around the forest, so they set up a retrieval team.

It’s a bit chaotic, but nothing Regina couldn’t handle, so she knows this isn’t what Emma was talking about when she said something was coming. So she braces herself for something worse.

Flashback to Regina and Emma exploring Merlin’s tower together. (Not a euphemism, unfortunately.) Emma tries to protest Regina stepping up and pretending to be the Savior, but Regina keeps accidentally ordering her around by saying things like “shut up” and effectively shutting Emma up. Regina quirks an eyebrow at the thought of all the fun she could have with Emma now, but turns serious again when she says she’s serious about keeping Emma from having to use her Dark Magic again. Emma thanks Regina, first because Regina told her too while holding the dagger, but then a second time in earnest.

In present-day Storybrooke, Robin Hood sets up a refugee camp of sorts for the new characters from Camelot and Regina is distracted with thoughts of Emma. Regina tells him she wants to prove to everyone that she’s more than just “not evil” but is actually trustworthy and can save them all.

Arthur and Guinevere are reunited, and that shady lady immediately notices Excalibur is missing. Before they can send out a search party, a creepy wood fairy monster picks up Robin Hood and flies him away. The #queerytales crew cheers, but everyone else panics.

Hook, meanwhile, is wandering around, lost without his lady, and goes to Emma’s yellow bug and pets it forlornly. Emma appears and flashes him away to her new house, saying they can still be together. He kisses her, and when nothing changes, he gets mad. Emma says this is who she is now, and he should just accept it, but he can’t. Hook wants answers, but Emma just wants sex. Hook is on the verge of smudging his guyliner, so he leaves the Dark One to her own devices.

Team Charming is in the forest, chasing the sounds of Robin’s screams. Regina tries to fireball the wood fairy demon, but it knocks her down. She tries to double-fireball it, but it gets her even worse this time. It flies away and Mary Margaret tells Regina she needs to get her wounds tended to before she can go after the wood fairy demon again. Regina mistakes this gesture for distrust.

Flashback to Camelot, where Regina is inspecting the Merlin Tree. A knight, Percival, presents her with an amulet and says he looks forward to dancing with her at the ball. Robin says he looks forward to dancing with her, too. Regina marches to find Mary Margaret and David and says she can’t go to the ball if she’s expected to dance with all these boys.

Okay, fine-she says it’s because she doesn’t know how to dance. Snow and Charming decide to teach her, but first she needs to change. Her go-to is her Evil Cleavage look.

But with a little nudging, she puts on a pretty frilly dress instead. Her in-laws teach her how to dance while Percival creepily watches through the amulet.

After teaching Regina how to dance, Snow dresses Emma up for the ball, saying she always wanted to go to balls with her daughter, and is glad they have this chance.

At the ball, after announcing everyone, they present Regina to the crowd as the Savior, and everyone claps for her. Regina beams, loving the idea that these people believe in her and like her instead of fearing her.

Present-day Regina goes to Gold’s Shop and starts yelling at the unconscious Rumplestiltskin, saying it’s his fault no one believes she can be the savior. But no worries, she’s going to prove them all wrong. Belle comes in and tells Regina that the wood fairy demon is a Fury, which comes from the underworld to collect the unpaid price of magic when the price was a life. I shall call her Sallie Mae Fury. Anyway, the only way to save Robin Hood is to give up another life in his place.

At the Camelot ball, Regina is dancing with Robin Hood and watching Henry share his iPod with a girl named Violet when Percival cuts in to have a dance. As they dance, he reveals that when he was a boy, the Evil Queen came and destroyed his family and his village and he knows that the Evil Queen is her. He attacks her, and Emma immediately moves to save her, but Hook won’t let her use magic. Robin and Charming jump in, killing Percival, but not before Robin gets stabbed right good.

Present-day Regina storms into Emma’s new house, and Emma asks if she brought a bottle of wine so they can christen the house.

Regina tells Emma she won’t sacrifice someone’s life for Robin’s, and that she knows the real Emma, her Emma is still in there. But Emma just laughs; it wasn’t her that didn’t pay the price of magic. It was Regina.

Flash back to the scene, where Regina’s magic can’t heal him because the blade was enchanted and her magic isn’t strong enough. Regina looks to Emma with pleading eyes and asks her for help. Emma doesn’t even hesitate, she’s willing to do it, but everyone else jumps in and says it’s a bad idea. Regina ignores everyone and locks eyes with Emma, saying she could use the Dagger to force her to do it but she isn’t, and she won’t. She’s just asking her. Please.

Emma agrees, despite everyone’s protest, and her RumpleVoice appears, letting her know the rules: Regina asks for the magic, so she has to choose what the price is. A life for a life. Emma says that’s a stupid rule and ignores him, healing Robin Hood anyway.

Regina kisses Robin so Emma kisses Hook, so that way it’s almost like they’re kissing each other, but the kiss makes Emma woozy (not in the good way) so she says she has to go lie down. Her RumpleVoice is delighted, because Emma is already starting to get sparkly like him.

Present-day, Sallie Mae Fury brings Robin to the lake and waits for the portal to the Underworld to open, and Death starts row row rowing his boat toward them. Everyone runs in to help, but they all get knocked down like bowling pins. All except Regina, who runs in and doesn’t hesitate to offer her own life for Robin’s. Sallie Mae Fury doesn’t care whose life she takes, she’s an equal opportunity soul sucker, so she transfers the life-draining immediately. Mary Margaret won’t let her do it alone, so she jumps in and says to take her, too. David and Arthur and Grumpy jump in, too, and Sallie Mae Fury gets so overwhelmed that she misses her debt collection window and disappears, Death following close behind. Robin is alive, and now they all know: Regina can totally save this town. More importantly, she can save Emma.

Everyone gathers at Granny’s, including Henry’s new girlfriend Violet, who he meets for the first time again, and they listen to the same song on the jukebox they listened to at the ball. David is enjoying watching this exchange, but Mary Margaret has bigger things on her mind: If they win, Emma loses.

Speak of the Dark One, she’s outside looking in, literally. She sees her family and friends inside Granny’s, feeling as left out as Regina used to. She takes a step like maybe she’ll go inside, but struts back to her house instead.

Flashback Regina admits to Arthur that she’s the Evil Queen, but Arthur doesn’t care; “Camelot is the land of second chances.” Besides, if she can bring a man back from the brink of death, she’s alright in his book. He goes to his Round Table and removes Percival’s crest. Guinevere comes in and says she doesn’t trust these strangers. Arthur insists they need to make Excalibur whole again.

Present-day Emma is alone in her house and her RumpleVoice tells her to stop feeling left out, there’s more to be done. He says that one thing has held all the Dark Ones back-the pull of family, friendship, magic, and love. But she has the power to be free of all that, because in her basement, she has Excalibur, back in its stone, waiting to be reunited with the dagger. So close, yet so far. Emma tries to pull the sword out herself, but is thrown back. RumpleVoice laughs at her-what kind of season would this be if she could pull it out herself? But more on that next week.

What did you think of “The Price”?

Here are some of our favorite #queerytales tweets from this week:

Lesbian Apparel and Accessories Gay All Day sweatshirt -- AE exclusive

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