Sunday night’s episode of Big Brother was a “recap episode” of the entire season. The final three: Steve, Vanessa and Liz gather around their (much smaller now) round table, while being treated to a gourmet breakfast and more champagne (which Steve tries), and, clearly prompted by producers to discuss certain topics, they go through the big blunders and notable laughs, showmances, memorable competitions and getting to know 17 strangers over the course of this wild summer. At the end of the episode, the three remaining begin the first part in a three-part installment of HOH competitions-the last of the summer. It’s a candy apple dip of a game, where they straddle a big “apple” that works its way over from a dipping station they’re plunked down into, over to a wall, where they are slammed against it like Miley Cyrus on a wrecking ball. Finale week is finally here after almost 100 days in the BB house, and if you’re even a little teensy bit upset, it’s okay to admit that here-I’m way upset it’s about to end, too. What will we do with three nights of our week now? Vanessa’s game play has awarded her a coveted position in the final three, and she’s sure she has a “final two deal” with the remaining contestants, Steve and Liz. Having just sent Johnny Mac to jury, Vanessa remains in power. It should also be noted that she’s likely the first out female to make it this far in a Big Brother US season. But like ye old Big Brother adage goes: Expect the unexpected.
Wednesday night brought tons of anticipation. On Twitter, Vanessa’s girlfriend Mel tweeted that she was super excited and on her way to the live taping of the finale to see her girl. For the last time this season, Julie Chen‘s face lights up our screen and we’re taken into the BB house to get a quick peek at the trio sitting in the living room, awaiting their fate.. The third part in their HOH competition will be live during this episode. The first part was off to a sticky start when we last saw houseguests Sunday night. The clock at the bottom of the screen tells us they’ve been hanging on for hours-over three hours! Can you even imagine their thigh and butts at this point? Steve drops. Then Vanessa says it’s time for “psychological warfare,” letting Liz know she can hang on for ten more hours. She stays on Liz, telling her she isn’t even in any pain. Liz finally lets go. Bad idea? Later on, Liz says in the diary room that if she doesn’t beat Steve in the second part of the HOH competition, that she’ll “regret this for the rest of my life.” Yeah, duh. So, what even is the next part of the competition?
Steve hopes the challenge is more mental, and chances are it will be, considering they just discovered new muscles in their legs and arms that didn’t exist on their candy apples. Sure enough, it’s some kind of a crossword challenge, which Liz immediately recognizes as being a shoe-in as a “Steve competition.” He’s stoked, too. He explains this is his forte and what he goes to school for. “Liz is screwed” is written all over his face. In the end, it’ll come down to who had the shorter time. And by just a few minutes’ difference, Steve beats Liz and wins a definite spot in the final two. I will say aloud several times during this episode: “He’s gonna puke.” I can feel Steve’s nervousness from all the way in my living room. Breathe, buddy! Steve will be facing Vanessa in the third and final part of the HOH competition. But first the jury speaks with former contestant and fan-favorite Dr. Will to discuss who they think should take the cake.
Shelli and Jackie say Vanessa deserves the win. Jason makes the comment: “Vanessa was going to work every day,” which is a completely perfect way to describe Vanessa’s attitude while in the house. Though, if you rely on the advice of publicist Kelly Cutrone, “if you have to cry, go outside.” Vanessa let loose a lot of waterworks when she was confronted by houseguests this season. But Meg doesn’t feel fooled, nodding her head when Shelli says, “but yes, you were fooled,” (likely reminiscing over the OG #SixthSense alliance). Austin is still bitter over Vanessa though: “She’s swearing as a gay woman…she’s putting her integrity on the line…” Out of context, it’s easy to assume Austin’s being really out of line. What does he mean “as a gay woman,” right? In many of Vanessa’s confrontations, she would frequently swear up and down, saying things like, “I swear on Mel,” her girlfriend. Who knows if Steve ever swore on his mom, but many other houseguests used similar tactics to gain trust, swearing on their families, their significant others, from the deepest breeches of their souls. Austin can be pissed at Vanessa for breaking her promise to him, but he wasn’t going to take her with him to the finals either, and pointing out that she used her sexuality to gain trust and compromised all her integrity in the process is a little buzzkill.
Anyway, the jury has a large task at hand. Will they be able to put aside their beef with the remaining houseguests who evicted them, lied to them, and are getting all this money they are no longer in line to receive? That’s the funny thing about BB-in the end all of the people you socialized and gamed with will be the deciders in if you win or lose. So that said, it’s finally time to go live and play this final HOH. Steve and Vanessa stand atop a giant set of scales. The scales are a pretty classic part of the final moments in Big Brother. This is called “The Scales of Just Us.” The object of the game is to decide what jury members would have actually said, given the choice between two options. It will rely on psychological, social, intuitive knowings that Steve and Vanessa will have had to pick up on about their fellow houseguests while interacting with them all season. Would Shelli really say that? They have to decide. It seems like something Vanessa would do excellent at, but maybe she’s overthinking it to much as Julie Chen reminds her she must cast her final answer several times. In the end, Steve wins. Several episodes back, Steve sort of implied that he probably wouldn’t take Vanessa to the final two, knowing she’s the strongest player in the game, knowing she could sway the jury-so, is this the end of the road for our girl V?
After we return from commercial break, it’s clear: Steve has voted to evict Vanessa. His impassioned speech is filled with adoration and respect. He says Vanessa has played the greatest game in all of Big Brother history. That’s 17 seasons of scheming, you guys. She leaves the house and immediately meets with Julie Chen on stage. When Julie interviews her, asking her if she planned to bring Steve with her to final two if she had won HOH, Vanessa smiles and says, “No, I wasn’t. So, yeah, I can’t blame Steve.” Now it’s time for the jury to vote. They are all brought out on stage and await the latest evicted houseguest to take the empty seat next to them. Julie Chen teases them, asking Julia how she’s feeling. Julia is stunned: “Why are you asking me that?” Without further adieu, out walks Vanessa. Austin immediately throws his hands up in the air. Julie asks how Austin is feeling about seeing her. “Steve made a great decision,” he says, referring once again to Steve as a boy-turned-man, or boy-man, or boy, or man-all of which are said in assorted ways throughout tonight’s episode. Johnny Mac says hello to his “best friend.” Vanessa’s face remains stoic-poker face stoic like never before. Let’s all take a sec to admit we’re a little frazzled and shocked. Still, the game must go on.
The jury asks Steve and Liz questions while Vanessa continues to sit there with a vacant look on her face. While this is certainly not a public speaking assessment at this point, Steve’s adrenaline is full-on and he is highlighting moments of the summer in his answers that are deeply articulate and well thought out. Liz is still blown away that Steve picked her over Vanessa, knowing how badly she needed this money, since, even if she doesn’t win, as runner up she’ll still receive a nice chunk of change. It’s okay, Liz-you’re only on national television pleading with a group of people to give you a half a million dollars. Now it’s time for their vote. Everyone locks in their key, including Vanessa who tells Steve: “No hard feelings.” Steve and Liz look like they just peed a little bit as the last key goes in and we cut to commercial. Before Julie Chen can read off the votes however, the jury meet up again to discuss the game live on stage with the rest of the evicted houseguests, like Mama Day, Audrey and Clay. Fan-fave Jason tells Vanessa that she “dominated the game” but wishes she had owned it more. “I wanted you to bathe in their blood!” Jason says with theatrical intensity. Vanessa breaks from her sad face and begins laughing. It’s also time for Vanessa to tell the house her “big secret,” so says Julie Chen. She turns and faces them to tell them she’s actually a professional poker player, one of the leading women at the forefront of the industry no less, and she’s raked in over 4 million dollars. Everyone’s faces: Dead.
Julie Chen will read off the votes now. Grab your beanies, hold onto sunglasses, shake out your cereal boxes, cover yourself in Audrey’s blankets, we’re about to find out who wins! To start, she’s super curious about who Vanessa picked so she begins backwards. Vanessa votes for Liz. It’s no surprise that both Austin and Julia also voted for Liz. The rest of the votes all go to Steve. Jackie says: “This is going to go to the person who has dreamed about this their whole life.” This really has been Steve’s lifelong dream, and we can see it all over his shaking body and in his eyes-he did it, he won his favorite show. Steve is this season’s Big Brother winner. Steve and Liz run out of the house onto a confetti-streaming stage. The jury bursts from their chairs and everyone hugs. Steve’s parents join him on stage and he hugs his mom tight. Vanessa reunites with Mel and they embrace on stage and I shout to the TV to pan over to them again and again. With that, on this autumn equinox, the summer is officially over.
What did you think of this season of Big Brother? Would you ever consider being on the show? Are you a superfan now? I’d love to hear all about it, so tweet me @the_hoff.
One last time: #TeamVanessa
