All this fantasy football has this no-sports interested folks feeling left out. What five characters from TV, film or books would you want on your ultimate squad?
Dana Piccoli: Kay from Desert Hearts, for her epic driving skills and western wear. Spencer Hastings from PLL, because every squad needs a know it all. Callie Torres from Grey’s Anatomy, because it’s always good to know a hot doctor or a lawyer. Carmilla, because every good squad needs a useless, vampire lesbian. Aminita from Sense8, because she’s about the coolest cat there is.
Grace Chu: Bellatrix Lestrange from Harry Potter, Dark Phoenix from X-Men, Vee from Orange Is The New Black, “A” from Pretty Little Liars and Gogo Yubari from Kill Bill. The group would go by their initials: B.D.V.A.G., pronounced “bad vag” because no group could be more evil and vicious.
Lucy Hallowell: Betty McRae for her swagger and giant heart. Hermione Granger because she’s the smartest witch of her age and made fifty billion hats and scarves for S.P.E.W. Paige McCullers for her loyalty and ability to crash and fix a bike in the same afternoon. Wil Pang because with Paige and Betty around having a kick ass surgeon on hand will be a necessity. Idgie Threadgoode, because who doesn’t love honey?
Kim Hoffman: Evan Rachel Wood as the vampire queen of Louisiana to handle all that blood, Litchfield’s butch queen Big Boo for knowing a screwdriver like the back of her hand, Winona Ryder as Jo in Little Women for beautifully timed killjoys, Susan Sarandon as Marmee because she’s got to bring down this sexy fever, and finally, Jenny fucking Schecter, because I never leave home without it. Here we come a’ caroling…!
Erin Faith Wilson: Jennifer Lawrence, because I’m pretty sure she could charm her way out of anything, plus she would make me laugh so hard ALL THE TIME. Melissa McCarthy, because we have seen her play both a cop AND a robber, so she would have all our bases covered in the event we needed to make a quick get away. Or make a citizens arrest. Or throw watermelons at people. Ronda Rousey, because there isn’t a person in the world that will fuck with her. Chelsea Handler, because she will fight for our right to party. And our right to be topless whenever the hell we want. Taraji P. Henson, because, simply put, she will just GET SHIT DONE.
Chelsea Steiner: Lesbian Fantasy Squad Activate! Form of: Bo Dennis to work her succubus magic and keep our watches set to Boobs O’Clock. Willow Rosenberg for her adorable nerdiness and witchy skills. Vamp Willow, because she is evil and skanky and also kinda gay. Charlie from Supernatural for her geekiness and wit. Mona Vanderwaal, because she is Mona Fucking Vanderwaal and adrenalized hyperreality makes everything better. All hail the VanderJesus!
Jenna Lykes: Faith (BtVS) because I’m pretty sure she was responsible for my sexual awakening and every squad needs a wildcard. Myka Bering (Warehouse 13) for her eidetic memory and also her face. Poussey Washington (OITNB), because I need someone around that I can get drunk with and talk about feelings. Dana Scully (The X-Files) for the “Scully Skeptic Face,” medical skills, and the ability to pull off power-suits with shoulder pads. Leslie Knope (Parks & Rec), because I need more positivity and waffles in my life. (Who doesn’t?)
Elaine Atwell: This is one of the hardest huddle topics we have ever done, because I want to scoop up almost all queer characters in a big hug/brunch date/sweaty dance party. BUT, if I have to choose five: Sameen Shaw from Person of Interest to take down my enemies with brutally accurate shots to the kneecap and/or shoulder. Bonus points for looking like Sarah Shahi. Nomi Marks from Sense8 as my tech genius. Plus she comes with Amanita since those two are never apart. Bette Porter. Blessed with the ability to solve 98% of problems thrown her way. Blessed further will the world’s best pronunciation of “fuck it” at those other 2% of problems. Betty McRae from Bomb Girls. Explosives expert and world’s best drinking buddy. Willow Rosenberg. Magical, adorable, will rip your skin off if you fuck with her people.
Chloë: Evan Rachel wood and Nikki Reed from Thirteen because they are hardcore. Ellen Page from Whip It. Uma Thurman from Kill Bill. Rachel Maddow and Aubrey Plaza from Parks and Rec.
Valerie Anne: H.G. Wells (Warehouse 13) for wiles and wit and wibbly wobbly timey wimey stuff (and probably kissing). Eleanor & Max (Black Sails) for cunning and wisdom (and probably kissing). Cosima (Orphan Black) for science and pencil-through-the-eye contraptions (and probably kissing). Skye (Agents of SHIELD) for humor and her new superpower (and probably kissing). Nyssa al Ghul (Arrow) for bowmanship, stealth, and general assassin skills (and probably kissing).
Trish Bendix: I’m looking to put together a tough-talking group of loners who have a passion for being effortlessly cool. We’ll get tattoos from Legs (Foxfire), wax poetic with Angel Haze, hit up the hottest clubs with Alike (Pariah) and ride on Amy’s motorcycle (If These Walls Could Talk 2). And, of course, I’ll borrow from Violet’s (Bound) wardrobe.
What are your fantasy fandom squad goals?
