“Faking It” recap (2.11): 2B or not 2B

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Hello and welcome to season 4H of Faking It, the show responsible for my eczema. It’s been such a long time since we last met in the halls of Hester High, it’s like coming back to school after summer break. You look great, by the way. Are you taller? Given how long it’s been, a brief catch-up is in order.

Lauren: Won student council president on the strength of being the intersex candidate. Not how she would have preferred it, but she’d rather win dirty than lose clean.  Got her heart broken by Theo the narc.

Shane: Anonymously outed his boyfriend, Duke. Thought seriously about jumping on the gray hair dye bandwagon; ultimately decided against it.

Liam: Promised never to kiss Amy again, and still we could not forgive him. Vowed to put away his art supplies forever, and yet our ire remained. Hung himself on a literal cross and we were like, “technically that’s performance art and you promised to STOP.” Briefly considered leaving town and we just as briefly considered tolerating him. Ultimately stayed. So it’s to be war then.

Karma: Found out her best friend slept with her boyfriend. Her parents got arrested right in front of her face. We’re all pretty tough on Karma, but she’s had a rough year.

Amy: SAFE AND HAPPY IN GIRLFRIENDLAND, WHERE SHE SHALL REMAIN FOREVER, LIKE A DRAGONFLY PRESERVED IN AMBER.

We pick back up in Liam’s car, which he and Karma apparently believe functions like an invisibility cloak.

fakingit11.1 THERE’S JUST SOMETHING I LIKE ABOUT VOLVOS. I THINK IT’S THE NAME. VOLVO. IT KINDA SOUNDS LIKE…NEVERMIND.

Liam accidentally blurts out “I love you,” which means it’s time for me to say the meanest thing, god willing, I am going to say all year: Liam Booker can never be a likeable character. The writers keep trying to convince us that he’s really a decent guy—he gave up art! He drives a Volvo!—but it’s just not ever going to take, because he cannot make a single move that does not reek of vanity. And (here’s the mean part) that’s a casting problem. I think maybe Gregg Sulkin’s face is just so symmetrical that he has never known true hardship. But whatever the reason, even when he’s spouting vulnerable lines from a vulnerable position, no one is, was, or will ever be Team Liam. That ship hasn’t so much sailed as sunk, and I would really like us to stop wasting energy on refloating it.  He can still be an interesting character without being likable. Or he could be in a tragic dirigible accident. But that’s it. Those are the only two options.

And Karma agrees with me. When he says “I love you,” she’s like “Baby, I like you better when you’re silent. Like that second ‘g’ in your name.”

Meanwhile, at Lauren and Amy’s house, everyone is trying for a return to normalcy. Amy swears that she has patched things up with Karma, and Lauren swears that she has gotten really into throwing knives for reasons unrelated to the fact that her ex-boyfriend was actually a foot soldier of the drug war.

fakingit11.2IF WE WOULD JUST LEGALIZE WEED, THIS WOULDN’T BE AN ISSUE.

But the cracks are beginning to show.  On the ride to school, Karma is just a machine gun of one-liners about Amy and Liam’s hookup because SHE IS JUST SO COOL WITH IT. COOL AS THE ICE FORTRESS AROUND HER HEART.

fakingit11.3 DID YOU KNOW THAT A DAGGER MADE OF ICE WILL MELT, LEAVING NO EVIDENCE? LOLOL JUST SAYIN’.

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