“The L Word” Recaps: Episode 6.04 “Leaving Los Angeles”

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Next door — Bette and Tina are packing for their trip to meet the natal Nevadan. But they’re discussing something much less heartwarming: Bette’s proposed partnership with Kelly. Tina’s simply not OK with it.

Bette: You know what, Tina? I’m not gonna spend the rest of my life on probation. I’m just not.

Tina: [thinking] You’re right. I’m sorry.

She is? You are? Well. I’m so glad we settled all that, then!

That lasts for about 20 seconds, or however long it takes to decide how many books and bears Angie needs for the trip. Then Tina gets right back to the heart of the matter, which is that she wishes Bette had discussed the big career move with her first.

Tina: It’s a huge decision, you getting back into the gallery business.

Bette: I know, but it’s what I’ve always loved the most.

Tina: I know, I know. It’s just … it’s really scary right now. You know, with the house under construction … and my job’s not exactly secure.

But Bette thinks it’s actually the perfect time for this sort of opportunity to come along. In her mind, it’s a wise business decision — and only a business decision.

Bette: And if you don’t believe that, then … I suggest you come up with a better solution.

Oh. A solution to what, exactly? To Bette’s need to feel important? To Bette’s need to feel in control? To one of Bette’s needs, I’m pretty sure — I don’t think there are really any other problems to address at the moment. Tina must agree with me, because she just walks away.

De-dykorating — Shane and Jenny are now in Shane’s room. Shane points out that she gave away most of her stuff last year, when she donated to the APLA. But Jenny finds a few more things she’d like to get rid of, including a T-shirt with the WAX logo on it.

Jenny: This is from that horrible Paige era.

Shane agrees to let that go. Whatever happened with that, anyway — Wax melted, Shane decided not to investigate, and that was it? Another mystery left unsolved, I guess. We’re all going to end up with an L Word–induced form of Tourette’s: years from now, we’ll randomly shout out, “Who killed Jenny?” or “Who burned down Wax?” or “Didn’t Alice used to be bisexual?” And that’s why we must all make the WHY-I-I rule our prime directive. Your battered brain cells will thank you.

Jenny also finds a shirt that belonged to Cheri Jaffe. Shane doesn’t seem quite as happy to let that one go, and she draws the line when Jenny tries to toss out Carmen’s T-shirts.

Shane: I wanna have some sort of remembrance of her, however small.

Jenny: Why? That’s the old Shane. You know, the one that couldn’t honor her commitments. You’re not like that anymore.

Shane gives Jenny a look that says, “You’re sweet, but come on.”

Jenny: What?

Shane: I’m not throwing her away. OK?

Yes. That is definitely OK. Actually, that is completely and fully mandatory.

An airport — Bette and Tina have arrived in Nevada. Ugh, even the slightest glimpse of an airport makes me tired (and makes me check for liquids and gels on my person). And Bette and Tina are exhausting me too, with all their squabbling. Tina finally blurts out what’s bothering her:

Tina: Your sister said that you almost killed yourself over her.

Bette: What? That’s a complete exaggeration. And it was, like, I dunno, over 15 years ago.

Try not to count the years, Bette. It’s only gonna hurt.

Bette: Wasn’t there somebody that you wanted to kill yourself over in the last 15 years? I’m sure there was.

Bette says this off-handedly and Tina shakes her head. But I’m pretty sure that if Tina were to answer this question seriously, she’d say, “Yes. You.”

Angie rescues everyone with her adorableness:

Angie: The taxi. Mommy, the taxi.

Her sweetness reminds Bette and Tina what love is.

The taxi queue manager dude doesn’t care how cute their kid is or how good their kisses are: “You people want your taxi or what?” As Snarker said, he’s the only guy in America who didn’t want to witness that.

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