“The L Word” Recaps: Episode 6.04 “Leaving Los Angeles”

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Bette insists that every baby has a genetic imprint, and she doesn’t want to invite a family history of backwardness into her life or expose Angelica to “that way of thinking.” Well, it’s true that you could end up with a kid who disagrees with every one of your core beliefs (ahem), but that would be possible even if you were to find a parthenogenetic way to have the baby yourselves. Just ask my own trailer-dwelling, narrow-minded family — the genetic imprint doesn’t always take. Not that I don’t love a fresh ear of sweet corn from my Uncle Gus’s field! Darn tootin’. Cornify me!

Tina tries to reassure Bette, but Bette isn’t really looking for reassurance.

Bette: I’m just trying to talk honestly with you. This is my response to what happened today.

Eek. Danger: Processing ahead!

There’s a knock at the door. Bette says, “Who is it?” in this really deep voice that half spooks me and half excites me. But never mind that: the birth mom is at the door, and she has something important to say.

Marci: I’m really sorry about what happened today. My parents don’t approve, but they don’t approve of lots of stuff, so …

Tina: We understand.

Bette: These things happen.

Marci: Yeah. But I really don’t care. I mean, this is my body, and my baby, and my decision, and … you’re the family that I want my baby to go to.

Tina: Are you sure?

Before she answers that, I have to point out that Tina is looking exceptionally good in this scene, with her quirked eyebrow and her total absence of makeup and her cute pajamas. These two are a very lovely couple, even when Bette looks like she’s about to hurl from anxiety.

Tina asks Marci whether she’s met the other couples who are interested in adopting her baby.

Marci: Yeah, I met them. I mean, they’re fine … I just … I don’t like ’em as much as I like you guys. They’re just not as interesting. And this baby, he’s gonna have an interesting life.

Bette: He?

Marci: Yeah. It’s a boy. Which is another reason why I want you to be his parents. ‘Cause this world needs boys who are gonna do things different. And I really want my baby to have a chance at that. At making this world, you know, just a little better.

Hugs and tears all around! Aww. Bette is still kind of freaking out, but in a happier way.

The next morning, Tina reaches for Bette.

Bette: I’m happy.

Tina: Yeah?

Bette: It was just a momentary thing.

“It” is probably more than the baby freak-out — I think “It was just a momentary thing” should be Bette’s new mantra. Bette takes Tina’s hand and caresses it.

Bette: We’re gonna have a baby.

Sigh. I can’t help it: I still want the happily-ever-after ending for these two. I have been completely suckered in. I should duck, right?

Same morning, different sucker — Max awakens to find he’s alone in the bed. Yikes — why are his feet so filthy? I guess he really is Dan Haggerty now. He’s been sleepwalking with grizzly bears.

Accompanied by the strained strains of “Another One” by Betty, Max goes to the wardrobe and flings it open. It’s half empty. And the door to his studio is wide open, too. Jeez, Tom — you couldn’t even close up shop behind you?

Max stands in the doorway and stares out into his empty future. Poor Max. Like the Betty song in the background is saying, “Here comes another one to live through.” Luckily, there are only four more to live through! Let’s wash our feet and meet Kit for some nonalcoholic beverages and Mad Libs. [Forceful transitive verb] this show!

Next time on The L Word: Jenny sells a script; Niki is back on the prowl; the group puts Dylan to the test.

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